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iforgotmymittens t1_ixvxcg9 wrote

Some guys just can’t hold their polonium.

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musical_shares t1_ixx3kce wrote

I’ve heard the best way to hold it is in your underwear.

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bonyponyride t1_ixvwygx wrote

>The Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs added in a statement that it was “deeply shocked” by the news of his death.

>“As head of the Foreign Ministry, he made a great contribution to the further strengthening of Russian-Belarusian relations,” it said.

Can any Belarusians here chime in with information about this guy? Was he as pro-Russian as Russia claims, or is it likely that he had an assisted accident?

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AtomicTurtie t1_ixwwtox wrote

I'll post this tweet by Carl Bildt, the former prime minister of Sweden - among other things, about Makei:

>It was years since I last saw Vladimir Makei, but then he was very clear on his determination to prevent his country coming under the control of the Kremlin, and not shying away from describing Moscow’s policies as imperialistic. RIP

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calibrono t1_ixx62v0 wrote

Speaking as a Belarusian, Makei was just another rat close to Lukashenko. Sure, some time ago he kinda sorta pushed for friendliness to EU, and at one time, some say, he even had presidential ambitions. However, after the protests in 2020 he showed his true self, pledging absolute obedience to Luka and playing the pro Kremlin game ever since.

On the other hand, Russia sure wants Belarusian army to help out with their genocide. Luka isn't budging it seems, so killing one of his top men like this? A good way to threaten him into submission.

Or he really just had a heart attack. At 64, he was past the usual life expectancy for males in Belarus.

Whatever it was, I hope hell is a scorching place for people like him, and I also hope he'll be joined by his pals soon enough.

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Ricardolindo3 t1_iy2682l wrote

>On the other hand, Russia sure wants Belarusian army to help out with their genocide. Luka isn't budging it seems, so killing one of his top men like this? A good way to threaten him into submission.

I had read that Lukashenko actually wanted to join the Russian invasion of Ukraine but that the Belarusian army refused. Is that true?

1

calibrono t1_iy2y0ch wrote

That's a simplistic take. I assure you Luka doesn't want any part in any of this - not because he loves ukrainians or belarusians so much, but because it's bad for his business and his position. He's been ruling Belarus for almost 30 years now. So he's trying his best not to give Putin any extras over what is absolutely necessary.

And belarusian army certainly doesn't want to do anything like that as well, of course.

3

Bn_scarpia t1_ixwhzgj wrote

I've been to Belarus twice, and everyone in the House of Lukashenko is pro-Russia. I doubt that this is a Russian defenestration poisoning hit job.

Likely something normal like heart issues or cirrhosis. Life expectancy in Belarus for men is only 69. Source

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SpaceShrimp t1_ixx1c0j wrote

That is the life expectancy at birth. Life expectancy at 64 is probably 80 years or so. Well, given that you haven't already died, because then it is 64.

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[deleted] t1_ixw1lq8 wrote

[deleted]

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callmesnake13 t1_ixw2ksm wrote

I love how this guy asks for Belorussians to tell us about the foreign minister and you, a non Belorussian, jump in with vague Redditor knowledge of Lukashenko.

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Cid-Itad OP t1_ixvtz7w wrote

He probably accidentally fell to his death from the first floor window.

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sdlover420 t1_ixw1e0p wrote

On a bed of bullets you say?

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altagyam_ t1_ixw48lt wrote

Oh dear…

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LemonHerb t1_ixw2y7d wrote

Fell down an elevator shaft onto some bullets

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Austin_AD t1_ixw821b wrote

Lots of gravity poisoning going on over there...

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aDirtyMartini t1_ixw6lfo wrote

I heard that he committed suicide by shooting himself, in the back of the head, twice.

1

tateotw t1_ixw3pjz wrote

Get a new joke you hack fuck

−41

Pthomas1172 t1_ixw4cz0 wrote

Waiting on the Russians to get more inventive sweetie.

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peb396 t1_ixwo4ut wrote

He's a russian propagandist or bot. Putin's killing people and he's worried about Putin's social media presence...of course, if he doesn't he may experience the adrenaline rush of a 10 story suicide attempt.

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JubeltheBear t1_ixw4r2v wrote

That moment when an idiot takes a casual joke too seriously on the internet…

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Spring-Both t1_ixw79l1 wrote

Tbf it’s getting old. It was funny the first 400 suspicious deaths but at this point it’s just beating a dead horse to death for karma.

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tateotw t1_ixwr85h wrote

Ha! I think you missed the point. I didn’t “take a casual joke too seriously”. I said I think the joke is lazy and hack and been done countless times and now it’s a pathetic attempt at a karma grab. Good day asshole 🎩

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Strificus t1_ixvz60c wrote

Did he know either Clinton?

−105

peb396 t1_ixwov92 wrote

No, but Putin has slapped that ass on both of them! Once at the same time.

−2

Implausibilibuddy t1_ixw3tol wrote

Is there a browser extension that can ctrl-F these threads and hide any post with the words "window" "polonium" and "back of the head"?

They're as cancerous as the whole "First!" craze on youtube comment sections.

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ComputerStrong9244 t1_ixw6xp9 wrote

The world's best Internet Scientists are currently all wrapped up in a browser extension that turns all the variations on "I clicked a thing I don't like and I need to let you know I didn't like it" into "COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS COCKS"

Your request is a couple years down the queue.

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IamLars t1_ixwhius wrote

There was a time when the top comment was always some variation of either “OP is a fg” or “OP is not a fg” so really we have already come a long way.

11

nanotech23 t1_ixy5p83 wrote

There is a section of RES called filteReddit were you can create custom filters for comments. But the filteReddit feature only works on old reddit

3

Implausibilibuddy t1_ixyphp1 wrote

Oh I'll have to look into that, I already use RES and Old Reddit. Thanks!

1

SonofBeckett t1_ixx5edb wrote

Awww, I sorta miss the old Ain’t It Cool News message boards…I remember one time I said First on an article about Monkeybone. Proud moment for a fifteen year old.

1

Vezrien t1_ixx8yzc wrote

Don’t you have the resources to have something like that made for you, Mr. Putin?

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PorkshireTerrier t1_ixwa0wq wrote

Everyone is making jokes but is there any proof he wasn’t murdered . Like I get the meme, and agree, but just to clarify, he was most likely killed right

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MasterpieceLive9604 t1_ixw66uu wrote

Which is also just five years shorter than the expected male lifespan in Belarus. I feel more bad for the rest of the Belarus men who die at similar ages due to poor healthcare access, than Makei here. The polonium giveth and it taketh away.

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Monkfich t1_ixwkw7c wrote

Theres a reason we don’t know how he died. Either they’re taking their time to make up at least a credible-sounding excuse (they’ve really got to put that action before the murder-action on their murder-flowchart), or they’re simply not going to say.

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SharpAndy t1_ixwlepo wrote

He probably drank some bad tea.

I would be interested to know the actual circumstances of his death. I hope it was something natural, but we know dealing with Russia can be potentially dangerous at the best of times.

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Monkfich t1_ixwlw3o wrote

Another redditor suggested Russia could have a plan to replace the Belarusian government, and killing off “problems” one by one then replacing them with suitable MPs isn’t a stretch of the imagination.

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RomaruDarkeyes t1_ixy7a9f wrote

>He probably drank some bad tea.

Tea leaves grown at Chernobyl...

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Applejuice42 t1_ixy0vr9 wrote

So sad, dying to a murdersuicide of natural causes.

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Dimaskovic t1_ixy8tex wrote

What people here don’t realise is that he was one of the “good guys” if you can call it that.

He was a fan of balancing Russia and Poland against each other in Belarusian politics.

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Juggernaut448 t1_ixxyajc wrote

Is it bad my first thought was "alright, how did Putin kill this one?"

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Budakra t1_ixy8v0r wrote

It was suicide by 3 shots to the back of the head

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Previous_Dog9056 t1_ixwhk7b wrote

Plot twist - Russia will end Belarusian puppet government one by one and will try to take the land because they can’t take Ukraine and Puttler needs some victory so desperately before he is gone.

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jurek911 t1_ixyz5ri wrote

Purge of Belarusian government officials has began, before the attempted take over by their most “trusted” neighbor.

2

ok-MTLmunchies t1_ixz1u2p wrote

New content for december just dropped: bellaruss is letting russian troops attack ukraine soon

2

kkeennmm t1_ixzi2zm wrote

he slipped off the kitchen counter spraying for ants

1

SeaHorse1226 t1_ixy0vbf wrote

Cause of death will be telling

RIP and love and safety to his family ❤️

0

crackhousebob t1_ixx1wwp wrote

Another clumsy Putin acolyte falling out the window again??

−1

royiroyi t1_ixx9af5 wrote

He was found blindfolded, bound, and gagged with 3 bullets wounds in the back of his skull. It was ruled a suicide by Soviet news.

−1

It_does_get_in t1_ixxx29u wrote

Soviet (Union) no longer exists, it's Russian or Russian Federation.

−3

RGeronimoH t1_ixxiuxg wrote

This is a real shame. Anyway…

−1

---------_----_---_ t1_ixyf40o wrote

Oh, what a shame, now they'll have to find another quisling.

−1

ktec_ceo t1_ixw1hxz wrote

Window cancer and gravity allergy

−5

Knocksveal t1_ixw62yf wrote

Committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of head six times in a row.

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zephyrseija t1_ixwfzif wrote

Was a window involved by chance?

−6

OrdinarySuspicious22 t1_ixw2ne4 wrote

🤔 I feel he may have died by, pick one 1. Passed by natural causes or 2. Death by Russian act.

−7

AdkRaine12 t1_ixw7clk wrote

So, the window was how high? Or did he drink some tea? Touch a doorknob? The potential causes are endless...

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Monkfich t1_ixwko9h wrote

A can of paint, attached to a rope, came flying down and hit him on the head as he tried to climb the stairs.

−2

Garagedays t1_ixw7g8t wrote

Window sales through the rooffff

−7

mala27369 t1_ixw29v4 wrote

Was he close to a window or on a patio?

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DaveFromBPT t1_ixw3vmo wrote

Lead poisoning of the 9 mm variety

−8

KonaKathie t1_ixw9kds wrote

Lemme guess, defenestrated?

−8