Thank you for such a considerate reply!

I've been extremely touched by all the encouragement, and after getting some much needed rest I'm more inclined to agree. Clearly the Devil—and I still believe that is who he was—intended to test my faith and instill fear into my heart. I haven't been without doubt over the years (find me any believer who hasn't) but this has been my life's harshest ordeal.

Understandably so, I suppose, but it is never pleasant to feel one's theology so shaken.

Until there is any true evidence that Satan achieved his implied goal of disturbing God's peace I must assume that he was allowed the baptism for a reason. I must await answers, and trust that all isn't lost as I was so certain it must be in my time of weakness. I must believe that this emptiness I feel is only guilt and fear, which likely the Devil intended, with his tricks and torment.

Since writing my account I've been much reassured by everyone's words, and intend to continue my duties, for all my doubts. If my tormentor returns I hope to rally myself, to challenge the implications of which I've been so afraid.

I'll return with further reports as the weeks go on. As collected as I may sound now I cannot promise I won't be swayed again by what I see or hear.