Submitted by ChocolateTsar t3_yjqy09 in nottheonion
Comments
LorenzoStomp t1_iuprj8p wrote
I work in homeless outreach. We've met with students and "students" who were doing exactly that
pentatomid_fan t1_iuq67a5 wrote
I work at a university and this is my backup plan should things not work out and why I never returned my keys from when I was a grad student.
Son_of_York t1_iuyb3s2 wrote
Grad student fears imminent homelessness...
LiberalFartsMajor t1_iwcuyrk wrote
Welcome to America!
Persianx6 t1_iuq8wdg wrote
When I was at UCSC, they kicked out a freshman in my year who lived in the library for months. Everyone in the dorms knew him. This was a decade plus ago.
Furlz t1_iuqcigu wrote
Dude McHenry is massive I could totally see this happening
HAI_LISTEN t1_iuqzpa0 wrote
Also being open 24 hrs a day helps
Furlz t1_iusf5to wrote
They lock the doors pretty early though. I'm not sure it's 24/7
HAI_LISTEN t1_iusi8fb wrote
Oh really? It has been a bit since I was there. Was that only for dead week or something then maybe?
Rosebunse t1_iuqsqxv wrote
When I was in school, we had a guy come for a party in my dorm and just not leave for a week. What got him was that he also didn't leave the floor. He would just go from person to person until he got kicked out.
jonner13 t1_iuqns3d wrote
Too bad McHenry closes at like 12am now 😒
Aidentified t1_iuqt0hj wrote
How else will the homeless get a good night's rest?
Infynis t1_ius25wh wrote
I knew a guy that got kicked out for dealing drugs, and lived in one of the balconies of the theater until they arrested him for real
Cetun t1_iurapoe wrote
The two socially acceptable places you can sleep in public are colleges and airports.
Coogcheese t1_iusi2yz wrote
Shit, I knew someone at University of Houston that lived for almost a whole school year in an unused dorm room. Just moved in after hanging with a friend and they realized it was unused. Started with just a night crashing and then a week later it was their room. RA never gave a damn I guess.
Just remembered another who did something similar for a few months but had to hide it from the RA. Would sneak in and never turn the lights on and be as quite as she could.
4atwork t1_iurogf0 wrote
The problem is that college towns tend to have a high cost of living even if you take the housing expenses out of the equation.
PullMyFinger4Fun t1_iuupt7k wrote
Plus a locker in some common area with a padlock. I think one could really pull off a decent homeless lifestyle at a large college. Summers would be sort of risky though.
Rosebunse t1_iuuqr8f wrote
That's easy: just go into town and go to a homeless shelter. Tell them you're enrolled in the college but are homeless in summer. It is a surprisingly common problem.
DanniTheStreet t1_ixnqgej wrote
Homeless shelters generally range from unhelpful to outright dangerous.
DanniTheStreet t1_ixnqb9c wrote
As someone not going to college (for now, anyway) I do this frequently. I feel like college campuses are the only place in the US where you can simply exist without being expected to pay money.
desertrock62 t1_iuph7jn wrote
A lady did that in 2003 on our base in Iraq. She was a local, former International Red Cross (or Red Crescent) worker. She acted like she had a job, spoke several languages, and managed to live well for about a year before being found out. No real punishment for her. Just forced to leave.
Sellanator6079 t1_iupjmzy wrote
Seems to me that she would have been sent to a deep hole somewhere for suspicion of spying?
desertrock62 t1_iupk14n wrote
Nope. But the Major she was banging that tried to get her an ID card got in big trouble.
KBAR1942 t1_iupn36z wrote
What happened to him?
desertrock62 t1_iupnp93 wrote
He got sent back stateside right away. That would have effectively ended his career (not promotable). I didn’t know him personally, so I don’t know if he was married.
I had seen her because she roomed with ladies I worked with.
sor1 t1_iuscsd4 wrote
were her roommates ifrc too? do you think they knew?
desertrock62 t1_iusgqj4 wrote
No, they were military. They didn’t know, because there wouldn’t be much overlap in duty responsibilities. Also, this lady moved in very early. Most people rolled in afterwards, so her being there was ”normal”.
In the early days, things were not very organized. If you were inside the perimeter, you were assumed “safe”. It wasn’t until many months later that ID was required to enter the chow hall. Until then, you just got in line with everyone else. The housing was likewise disorganized, with lots of turnover. With people rolling in and out every few weeks or months, it was easy to blend in. Show up for chow, watch movies together, show up for Salsa Night, and you’re part of the community.
sor1 t1_iusvobm wrote
oh, i didnt realize this was 2003.
i guess we will never know if she actually even work for the red cross/red crescent in 2003 at all, like after the invasion. she couldve also been a former delegate deciding to "parlay" her knowledge to living somewhere safe.
was the red cross compound that was bombed in august 2003 also part of this safe zone? maybe she had crashed there before.
eh, sorry for my curiosity.
Matookie t1_iuqtqth wrote
What about all of the former employees who were just left there after their contracts ran out? Like people from the Philippines and Nepal?
MikeyTMNTGOAT t1_iuplxfj wrote
I've faked being a student for 20 years, now I teach
DMmeUrPetPicts t1_iupxlzk wrote
Damn, imposter syndrome strikes again. :(
GetlostMaps t1_iuqhngr wrote
I faked being a student while I was a student. Wait, still doing that now.
Bitter_Mongoose t1_iuq6rk5 wrote
Fake it till you make it
mechapoitier t1_iuqozh5 wrote
“I’ve worked in the private sector. They expect results.”
jackanape7 t1_iupe861 wrote
Lol damn this has actually happened at Stanford before like 2005ish? A girl faked being a student there for almost a whole year.
quikfrozt t1_iupt53e wrote
I remember that! It was a Korean American girl who was too ashamed to tell her parents that she actually hadn’t been accepted by Stanford.
Gulbahar-00 t1_iupy6qx wrote
There was one in Canada, Jennifer Pan, who faked attending college and then killed her parents after they found out
boethius70 t1_iuq0kbn wrote
Ummm… well shit that bitch escalated that one real quick.
When I flunked out of college I was depressed as hell at the time but I don’t think “well fuck better kill my parents now” ever entered my thinking.
calaeno0824 t1_iuq302q wrote
It's the immense pressure placed on children by Asian family. On top of that she lied about attending school which build further anxiety and pressure. And if I remember correctly, she wasn't doing anything good outside of school either.
Gulbahar-00 t1_iuqbzwz wrote
She had a good career as a piano teacher. She should have just moved in with her boyfriend and left her family. They were emotionally abusive but that doesn’t justify murder.
Several-Parsnip-1620 t1_iurdali wrote
The boyfriend who helped kill her parents. Seems like a solid guy
dotslashpunk t1_iuqn7mx wrote
also she just cray
mechapoitier t1_iuqp6f7 wrote
Yeah I had a .8 GPA after my first year of college, hated my dad, but weirdly murder never came to mind as a way to fix the whole f’ing up in college thing.
I ended up graduating with a 3.0 and didn’t kill anybody.
boethius70 t1_iurwtk7 wrote
Yay! Glad you made it through. Never graduated though honestly I was still many credits away from finishing a degree. Did fine the first quarter I was at university but discovered the Internet after that and it was all over.
And, to be fair, I think 99.999999% of humans who fail, make mistakes, don't make it through college/university, and generally screw the pooch move on eventually without killing other humans to vent whatever anger or frustration they may have about their actions.
Random-Rambling t1_iut3r5v wrote
I seriously thought about running away and going no-contact. I was (technically) an adult, no one could legally stop me.
[deleted] t1_iut3rxo wrote
[deleted]
Gulbahar-00 t1_iuq2nug wrote
I tried to kill myself but never tried to kill my parents. I applied to retake classes the day after my suicide attempt and got into the program I wanted.
eazeaze t1_iuq2ogy wrote
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Gulbahar-00 t1_iuqbwa7 wrote
Thank you
Electrical-Bed8577 t1_iuqaxq3 wrote
1000 x upVotes! ... "bot"...
Anthony12125 t1_iuq6g51 wrote
No, her boyfriend and associates killed her mother. Her father survived. That's how they got caught. She told the police that it was a bunch of black guys and her father told the police that it was a bunch of Asians. They interrogated her multiple times, it's on YouTube.
Gulbahar-00 t1_iuqbxn8 wrote
She organized it though
Anthony12125 t1_iuqcfv1 wrote
Yeah definitely, she even planned it.
mechapoitier t1_iuqp9nd wrote
Crap, we gotta think. What’s the blackest kind of Asian?
Run-Riot t1_iuqqkmx wrote
Indian, probably.
dw444 t1_iuqysym wrote
Papua New Guineans
Random-Rambling t1_iut3x7s wrote
I don't know, those REALLY tanned Japanese girls?
ofajhon t1_iuqbcqh wrote
"Killing" is putting it lightly. She staged the whole home invasion with her drug-dealing boyfriend and friends, intending to kill and rob her parents of their possessions so they could run away. She even pretended to be a victim and called 911. If her father did not survive the attack and testified, she might have gotten away with it.
If you want a deeper dive into the whole situation, I'd suggest watching JCS Criminal Psychology's YouTube videos on her. The video's title is called "Jennifer's Solution".
Random-Rambling t1_iut2yef wrote
Am Korean-American. That checks out.
ginsunuva t1_iuqvjzh wrote
Lmao imagine not being accepted by Stanford
Edit: jeez no one here knows what sarcasm is
samuelgato t1_iupgb4t wrote
I spent two months living in the dorms at Lewis and Clark college in the 90's without being a student there
Translationerr0r t1_iuq8bme wrote
Did they find out or did you leave by yourself?
samuelgato t1_iuq90g5 wrote
They found out. The first 3-4 weeks I was crashing in my friend's dorm room, his roommate had a girlfriend off campus and was usually away. I was selling lots of weed at the time, I kept everyone on that floor blazed all the time, so no one seemed to mind me being there... Until someone did and I was ratted out. We found an unused storage closet in the next building over that had just enough room to lay down a sleeping bag, I slept there for a couple more weeks but was eventually found out again and finally escorted off campus by security officials, told not to come back
TheRandom0ne t1_iuqi1zs wrote
But what happened then.. I'm invested..
moonbunnychan t1_iuqanq2 wrote
I kinda did this, only I rotated around living with friends I had on campus. I couldn't afford to go back after my freshman year, but didn't want to give up on the college lifestyle. I just went to work instead of class. Nobody official ever caught on.
Electrical-Bed8577 t1_iuqbg1y wrote
We need to make education a reality for All citizens. Otherwise, what are we?!
soup-n-stuff t1_iurpfr7 wrote
THE WILDCATS
"who are we going to beat!?'
THE WILDCATS
sithelephant t1_iuslnn7 wrote
That kinda implies the people are getting a useful education to them. Many will find out it's not really been so.
PullMyFinger4Fun t1_iuuqa8e wrote
Otherwise we are uneducated. But really, anyone can manage to get a very good education by using libraries.
I think most people aren't really looking for an education per se. I think they want documentation that they are educated so they can trade that in on a 'good' job.
Alioops12 t1_iwk4dej wrote
A society that can build a damn thing.
Kraqrjack t1_iupq6dj wrote
I lived at Towson State for about 3 months back in the 80s. My buddy was a student. His roommate went home at Christmas and decided to withdraw. I just assumed his quarters. Eventually someone snitched and I was escorted from the premises. Was a wild ride while it lasted!
mstpguy t1_iupeblq wrote
15 (!) years ago there was a student who did the same thing.
MyOtherUsernameGone t1_iuqjeo8 wrote
I think the ending of the article is a little pretentious. Living in a dorm at that age, especially if you don’t have to go to class, would be one of the most enjoyable experiences you can have when “coming of age”. When it comes down to that age, combined with the excitement of the prospects, and pressure from parents; it’s no surprise this happens. So when they hint at something “deeply disturbing” with someone that does this, it seems like they just want to keep a certain type out of their “club”. Like no shit someone wants to scam their way into experiencing that. It’s one of the best parts of going off to college. And she didn’t hurt anyone.
Electrical-Bed8577 t1_iupn4tm wrote
One of my very old teachers went to Yale without ever buying a book or paying much tuition; auditing then testing... hanging out, Alot. Those were the days. The guy at Stanford has been in the awareness of the U for months, they are just generally gentle and have essentially given him warnings, then notices, then more stern notices. They have rules for this when its an actual student... and they have compassion. The guy was actually reading books, not stealing more than space. I'm sure it will be a good memory for him.
gracecee t1_iuqkbm3 wrote
He stole a dorm tv and was stalking a girl he had broken up with. It wasn’t all harmless. If he had done something worse like Brock Turner who was an actual student it would have been terrible for Stanford.
Electrical-Bed8577 t1_iureyf0 wrote
Where did you hear this? I'm at Stanford this week and did not hear this. Edit: Ha. It's in the Daily today. They sure keep us sheltered. Not found the stalking bit, tho, would think he'd have been beaten up by now if that were happening. I retract my "good memories" statement. https://stanforddaily.com/2022/10/28/imposter-student-caught-removed-from-crothers-hall/
TrashPanda_924 t1_iupcxuy wrote
I feel like he’s working to achieve the FIRE lifestyle
MILeft t1_iuqrqb9 wrote
Forty years ago, at a large, urban U.S. campus that shall remain nameless, I was a grad assistant who taught two classes back to back, so I kept the water in the office coffee pot hot while I was teaching my first class. Then I would refill my cup between classes and shut it off for the day, since everyone else was finished with classes. One day, I stopped in for the daily ritual, and someone had emptied the pot. I was just mad enough to do some investigation, and I discovered that the grad office next door (which didn’t have a coffee pot) had a new “grad assistant” move in at the beginning of the term. I found out that he slept on the couch in the office “a lot,” and no one knew his name. He was also known to be a user of our office’s coffee pot, so that was motivation enough for me to report him to the department office. It turned out that he had a mattress and some extra clothes (all of which were stereotypical academic costumes at the time) stashed in the attic of the building. Campus security removed him and his belongings.
A week later, I saw him on my way to the campus swimming pool. He was wearing an athletic jacket with a whistle on a lanyard around his neck.
Just wear the right costume, and you’ll fit in…
alittlefun53 t1_iupybfi wrote
I was working at a University and a girl moved her sister and sister's kids into her dorm room.
BlazedSpacePirate t1_iuq5ec8 wrote
I went to UMN-TC which has about 2.5 times more students than Stanford. This really makes me wonder how prevalent it is there.
BigNorseWolf t1_iuq7zvo wrote
Look to your left. Then look to your right. In four years one of you will not be getting a degree. Not because they dropped out, but because they've pretended to enroll because they're homeless...
jimb2 t1_iuquy84 wrote
There's a girl in my house who claims to be my daughter. Well mannered, great cook, speaks Spanish beautifully, no ideas what she's saying.
RetardMcChuckle666 t1_iurgooa wrote
No that is MY daughter. I want her back as soon as you have her debarked.
Altofaltception t1_iupenu5 wrote
r/ActLikeYouBelong
ArtificialBrain808 t1_iuq61bb wrote
MarkCorrigan.gif
WhatIsNoMan t1_iupewgf wrote
2016 story
VukKiller t1_iuqxrby wrote
Is this not common in every dorm ever?
kahllerdady t1_ius7bj4 wrote
Was his name Lazlo? Was he trying to win 38.9% of the prizes in a Frito Lay contest? Was he #1?
Ajdreams92 t1_iurarjf wrote
Lmaoo omg this is hilarious
Tantra_Charbelcher t1_iutipcq wrote
Lol, my dorm mate's friend slept on our couch the entire second semester. I knew him and hung out with him the first semester so I was okay with him sleeping there. But our other dorm mate never used the dorm he was given for free and let one of his friends have the fucking key. Not only had we only met the guy once, but now a total stranger was sleeping in our dorm and had a key. Nah, bruh, that's not okay.
grrrrreat t1_iuphyop wrote
Ok, now what
morahman7vn t1_iuzojgp wrote
At least they didn't accidently sign up for a prison experiment.
4quatloos t1_iupp515 wrote
They should make a movie about that guy. They could have him going to party's and things like that.
Kamino86 t1_iuqablb wrote
Free real estate
Kind_Bullfrog_4073 t1_iur0g6h wrote
Doesnt sound that hard. I had a suite with an empty bedroom for a whole semester.
mekkab t1_iur144j wrote
My cousin did this at a small art college. He made it like 5-6 weeks, but the administration was in the know and tried to force him out!
TricksterWolf t1_iurzfrc wrote
"Tried"?
TricksterWolf t1_iurzcdi wrote
Don't tell me what to pretend, headline!
MrFryGuy1 t1_iusjfih wrote
Benjiiiiieeeeeeeeee
swarthyspaniard74 t1_iuskozo wrote
Lazlo Hollyfeld??!!
anaverageguy123 t1_iut9nlo wrote
anyone else read pretend in the title as a 'verb'...
[deleted] t1_iutw8tq wrote
[deleted]
ThatOcelot1314 t1_iwjp0b7 wrote
r/unexpectedbananastand
RayRayofsunshine85 t1_iur2uvk wrote
Maybe he identified as a college student.
sor1 t1_iusd85f wrote
and then he became the hero everyone needed, his name was "rapewalker".
ExtremeComplex t1_iusukuy wrote
Would be a good place for the homeless to start living then as these students grow up they can see just how great it is.
TheBigPhilbowski t1_ivzhyp2 wrote
The movie Harvard man.
Turbulent_Effect6072 t1_iuqdoru wrote
Let me guess, he was from Florida?
BigNorseWolf t1_iuq8i6i wrote
meanwhile the philosophy department has pretended to be relevant for 131 years
[deleted] t1_iutroxx wrote
[removed]
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Rosebunse t1_iupdtzv wrote
Having been to a large college, this would be pretty damn easy to do. Many schools have areas where anyone can, in theory, just sit down and sleep, there are 24/7 libraries and places to hide away.
All you need is a bookbag and the right clothes.