Submitted by mr_serfus t3_yxkeu2 in nottheonion
Comments
feluriell t1_iwpl6fb wrote
So my dad is just running a marathon? He is realy slow...
ehxy t1_iwq4j6x wrote
he's not slow he's just not ever coming back johnny...
dont_shoot_jr t1_iwqhpwc wrote
Bruh
QuernoDeChivo t1_iwpz576 wrote
I thought he had stopped to ask for his lighter back.
Gh0stMan0nThird t1_iwp4tts wrote
American man, 33, is physically disabled for the next 6 hours after eating a double cheeseburger
PM_ur_Rump t1_iwp71ca wrote
It's called the meat sweats, thank you.
z0nb1 t1_iwpw4bh wrote
Not be confused with the macaroni sweats
tankcostello t1_iwq1n40 wrote
Or turkey farts
TheOriginalKrampus t1_iwrow9f wrote
Or the chicken runs
GzzGzzG t1_iwsx65p wrote
Or the sushi shits
Jaraqthekhajit t1_iwrndu4 wrote
I call it the Itus after boondocks.
PM_ur_Rump t1_iwwfk2a wrote
Thanks, Ribs.
GrushdevaHots t1_iwqsxzl wrote
Get those when I go to Fogo
[deleted] t1_iwp52l7 wrote
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Agrakus t1_iwqc850 wrote
I find it annoying when restaurants sell double cheeseburgers that include anywhere from a half pound to full pound of beef. Who enjoys that?
IMO the perfectly proportioned double cheeseburger is something on the scale of the McDonald’s mcdouble. Good ratio of meat to bun to toppings and it isn’t thousands of calories.
[deleted] t1_iwqrsgf wrote
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Ok-disaster2022 t1_iwp7odh wrote
They were running in China though, so the air quality wasn't really much better than smoking a cigarrette anyway.
8-36 t1_iwpcs8h wrote
The filter made the difference
elucila7 t1_iwpe0xk wrote
aren't the smog and smoking compounding detriments though?
uwquestion t1_iwpfxcp wrote
Yeah but the nicotine gives you the energy to power through.
ForeverShiny t1_iwq4zlk wrote
Yes, but it ruins the joke 😉
ViridianEight t1_iws2wid wrote
besides maybe 3-4 big cities this is just false lol
Camgrowfortreds t1_ix45837 wrote
Yeah, in most major cities it's really not that bad anymore.
SirCoco t1_iwqjk12 wrote
Pollution isn't very bad in Chinese cities anymore. They fixed that issue.. People really have no idea what goes on in China...
MadNhater t1_iwrapgu wrote
Not as bad as it used to, still bad.
pattyG80 t1_iwrd75x wrote
But my local party official told me the air was perfect and that I shouldn't believe the media, or science...or any facts
ViridianEight t1_iws31r3 wrote
you’re canadian
pattyG80 t1_iwurinf wrote
Whoosh...that went right over you
ViridianEight t1_iwvv60u wrote
You realize that china scores better on education than the US or canada
pattyG80 t1_iwwb1mj wrote
That seems strangely specific. We were talking about air quality and the fallacy that it has been magically resolved
ViridianEight t1_iwy1hhg wrote
It isn’t as bad in Chinese cities anymore. This is true. It was much worse before. Now it is on par with cities of comparable size.
Seems reasonable to me
fmxda t1_iwqnhwc wrote
>Pollution isn't very bad in Chinese cities anymore. They fixed that issue.. People really have no idea what goes on in China...
Doubt that
https://www.iqair.com/us/china/beijing https://www.iqair.com/china/guangdong/guangzhou https://www.iqair.com/china/sichuan/chengdu https://www.iqair.com/china/hubei/wuhan https://www.iqair.com/china/liaoning/shenyang
bountygiver t1_iwrx2w0 wrote
They were only good when they are hosting international events and have all the factory that has emissions be shut down for that period.
numberthreepencil t1_iwpl1ax wrote
There goes my hero 🎶
sylpher250 t1_iwrsccp wrote
Watch him as he smokes🎶
eobardtame t1_iwpx607 wrote
On my first thru hike of the AT in '14 I crossed paths with a NOBO named "catch me if you can" he was a South Korean tourist who chain smoked newports while pumping out 26 mile days regardless of the terrain. If you met him twice it was considered a big accomplishment.
MacDwest t1_iwq04hq wrote
As an aspiring AT thru-hiker, I am excited for tales of trail legends such as Catch Me If You Can.
[deleted] t1_iwq74ij wrote
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HungLikeKimJong-un t1_iwq7yjk wrote
I'm guessing AT is Appalachian Trail but what the hell does NOBO mean?
Coconutrugby t1_iwq9jp3 wrote
North bound hiker - i had no idea so i googled.
HungLikeKimJong-un t1_iwqb119 wrote
Thanks, so did I but got a company making heating solutions fill up the first page. Should have been a bit smarter about it instead of just throwing NOBO in there!
MuteSecurityO t1_iwrf98a wrote
it's when you're not homeless, you're not a hobo, you're a nobo
droidtime t1_iwp8l3w wrote
Welp I guess that means Chinese cigarettes are great for your cardio!!!!
Aethrix_ t1_iwpan2p wrote
Extra exercise for your heart is always good
LorenzoStomp t1_iwt10tr wrote
I used to have a Chinese landlord. We got 3' of snow dumped on us one year and he helped me shovel our driveway. Then we shared his last cigarette, which had been crushed in his back pocket so the filter broke off. There was a panda on the pack and he told me it was the same brand the Chinese president smokes. I dunno if it increased my cardio but it was an experience
phantomhatsyndrome t1_iwq0wrx wrote
Guess I need to switch brands.
rnargang t1_iwr2q0o wrote
When I was in the Army I was watching a National Guard unit do their annual PT exam during their summer training. They start their run and this older, overweight guy is bringing up the rear. He stopped after a hundred or two hundred yards. He pulls out a cigarette, lights it, and just starts walking. Could not believe I had just witnessed that!!
MarthaMatildaOToole t1_iwpr341 wrote
Sponsored by Philip Morris
rstadt_97 t1_iwqe8zb wrote
Imagine how healthy this guy would be if he didn't smoke.
Jahobes t1_iwqt1xp wrote
Idk man. His body probably has a routine.
I always think about that ancient guy from the documentary about centennials and how he ate two toasted bread with butter and two glasses of wine everyday for a decade. Went to the doctor and was told to eat healthy and died within months.
pattyG80 t1_iwrdcr9 wrote
Regardless of his routine, his lung capacity is diminished from what it could be
kcj422 t1_iwr3aww wrote
hey man, what documentary is this? id love to check it out
Jahobes t1_iwr49kj wrote
Type in "centennials documentary" into YouTube. It's from the 90s so should be a bit older.
fockwad t1_iwq97yy wrote
Keith Richard’s distant cousin
baseilus t1_iwpjbav wrote
youtube link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgy9mjesrbM
ThimeeX t1_iwth2bf wrote
I was sure that link was this chain smoking runner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xssCyfRu3iM&t=114s
munchanything t1_iwsavtc wrote
Some people live to work. Others work to live. This man runs to smoke.
mick_ward t1_iwpjh3u wrote
Nicotine is a hell of a drug.
Bird_Brain4101112 t1_iwqs355 wrote
I knew a guy like this. Ran a 9 minute two mile and smoked at least one cig while doing so.
young_Handsome_MF t1_iwrcq70 wrote
"I train my lungs by smoking 6 packs a day, seven days a week. Once I get closer to the race, I taper down to five packs a day. You have to train your lungs!
burnsfriction t1_iwstr07 wrote
He's running them faster each year 3:36 3:32 3:28 that's the most amazing thing.
CyberNinja23 t1_iwqk1qd wrote
That’s some Vince Vaughn Old School energy right there.
captainadam_21 t1_iwqn8pe wrote
That female landlord in Kung-fu Hustle who kicks ass and never loses her cigarette
CyberNinja23 t1_iwqqkd9 wrote
He’s mastered the loins roar.
MadNhater t1_iwratm4 wrote
The loin’s roar 😏
TossPowerTrap t1_iwtcli5 wrote
That fella will make St. Peter wait while he smokes one last cigarette.
kiblerthebiologist t1_iwqunzp wrote
How? Lol. If the air quality is mildly bad my lungs seem too struggle functioning.
Ready_Homework7020 t1_iwruyk3 wrote
Don’t f with china
davidmobey t1_iws1dqh wrote
Was he wearing a blazer over a slightly yellow-stained undershirt?
[deleted] t1_iwsci6f wrote
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Tsashimaru t1_iwshviv wrote
Let’s not forget the survivor bias when it comes to smoking cigarettes. Those who had failures from smoking aren’t here anymore. We don’t see their stories unfortunately.
profprob t1_iwt5fri wrote
No. 1 Stunna
morahman7vn t1_iwtrv6e wrote
Surprised he wasn't arrested.
siliconinsect t1_iwv62ka wrote
I "won" a mountain bike competetion chain-smoking and hydrating with the original FOUR Loko. Got disqualified for being drunk.
AdrianaMax t1_iwv85f2 wrote
What brand?
Lee1070kfaw t1_iwrakj5 wrote
Was he inhaling the cigarette or puffing like a teenager
NOT000 t1_iwry0h3 wrote
and he made it the stinkiest marathon ever
fellow runners were not pleased
Raiden115X t1_iwrr47y wrote
Well I mean Chinese cigarettes are soaked in amphetamines right?
[deleted] t1_iwrtdci wrote
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Pristine_Swimming_16 t1_iwqd9fh wrote
using the Chinese metric system, this means a 35 year old men got tired 30 minutes into the race and then "cut corners" to finish the race.
Odd-Bird-2886 t1_iwqmb96 wrote
Maybe he ought to use the imperial system and crash a space shuttle instead
[deleted] t1_iwqs1x7 wrote
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One_Pen_7776 t1_iwrynzb wrote
So, he's an idiot. That's news? Chinese guy is an idiot?
caniseetheboozemenu t1_iwpu3qh wrote
Why are people surprised about this? one of the top runners (sorry don't remember her name) lives on a diet of tacos and beer. You can smoke and still be able to complete physical exercise they're not mutually exclusive. It's mildly amusing, but it's not groundbreaking.
impersephonetoo t1_iwpx31y wrote
What’s funny about it isn’t that he’s a smoker, it’s that he was smoking WHILE running a marathon.
tankcostello t1_iwq1i24 wrote
Ya like the WHOLE TIME!
lewphone t1_iwpk4b2 wrote
Would have finished sooner, but he stopped to get a pack of cigarettes.