Submitted by GeneralGigan817 t3_yy9nnp in nottheonion
Comments
fiddlenutz t1_iwt3vnd wrote
Pfft. lol
pyrulyto t1_iwufdg3 wrote
if so, he could just escape jail, but should be quick to do a new trade and get a ring before they catch him again empty-handed!
OlympusMonsPubis t1_iwtf8yt wrote
I literally just laughed so hard I cried. I am also literally playing the new Sonic Frontiers game right now, paused to smoke a bowl.
Jayayewhy t1_iwuj2rk wrote
It's really cool isn't it? We don't get enough mascot platforming games. The shrines are a little short, but the open world is awesome and so much fun to navigate. Running around collecting kocos and doing map challenges is a blast.
Meanderingversion t1_iwvsu3b wrote
Jesus chronos.
SaintBrutus t1_iwt2dhm wrote
Gotta sell fast.
AholeBrock t1_iwtti4t wrote
<snorts enormous line>
Rezaka116 t1_iwvujm3 wrote
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A SONIC?!?!”
Filet_O_Tuna t1_iwtfhyn wrote
Pfft. Thats nothing compared to what the creator of Sonichu got arrested for.
Rosebunse t1_iwtghkm wrote
Do we really have to be reminded of that?
CommyTzar t1_iwtndq7 wrote
God damn it.
I thought that was a joke
Jampine t1_iwtyqwb wrote
I had a cursory knowlage of Chris when that happened, and it really wasn't a suprise, but it was kind of "Oh fuck he actually did it".
I've watched some of Genos videos, and now it's like "HOLY FUCK, OF COURSE CHRIS ACTUALLY WENT THERE", there's more red flags than a CCP rally.
xincasinooutx t1_iwumiqr wrote
Whoaaaaa lmfao. I have never heard of Sonichu before and decided to look it up.
What in the fuck did I read. Just the wiki alone is absolutely the most cringeworthy thing I’ve ever seen. Then I watched some video of him doing “voice acting” of the characters.
I honestly can’t believe this exists. What the fuck.
Edit:
My god this wiki knows no depths. It’s like watching a car crash, and the cars flip into the path of an oncoming train. And then a plane falls out of the sky on top of the wreckage, only for an atomic bomb to drop from the sky onto that exact spot.
And all I’m reading is the wiki pages— I haven’t even touched the actual material. This is the worst, greatest thing on the internet.
The twists and turns.. this could be made into the best docuseries of all time. I didn’t even find out what he was arrested for until about 30 minutes of reading. I’m speechless.
Unknownfriendo t1_iwutxs6 wrote
Genosamuel has a history that ia 67 parts and counting.
Filet_O_Tuna t1_iwuxvy2 wrote
I apologize for introducing you to this slow moving train wreck.
AmeriToast t1_iwu0a1p wrote
What happened?
TigBiddiesMacDaddy t1_iwu36jx wrote
Tldr Trolls convinced The Creator of Sonichu to do criminal acts. Let’s just leave it there.
Jampine t1_iwuabsx wrote
Honestly, I disagree about being manipulated into it, despite all the malicious advice Chris was given, and the entire idea guys saga, all of Chris's worst decisions seem to be of their own creation.
They've been manipulated into all sorts of heinous shit, but Chris will somehow always find a way to one up it, usaly to their own detriment.
Filet_O_Tuna t1_iwujpez wrote
Doubtful he was manipulated into his felony. He had been expressing an odd interest in it since the Classic days
CthuluTheGrand t1_iwv59zq wrote
>Let’s just leave it there.
No :(
Did he eat someone or what?
StormStrikePhoenix t1_iwv65id wrote
To be blunt, he raped his own elderly mother.
Jellote t1_iwv5zk2 wrote
Ate someone’s Barbussy.
ImJTHM1 t1_iwv676l wrote
Alleged incest/rape of their senile mother.
CthuluTheGrand t1_iwv6vw2 wrote
Yikes.
doctorhino t1_iwt2s9u wrote
Still seems like a gamble to buy Square Enix right now with them offloading properties and still flirting with NFTs. Even with the info he had.
Vegan_Harvest t1_iwtqskd wrote
Buy it, make a cell shaded 3D Chrono Trigger sequel. Make a gigantic open world Final Fantasy. Go on a bender and make a Eggs of Steel sequel that makes 5 people happy and get pushed out of control.
psyduck_hug t1_iwu89b9 wrote
HD 2d Chrono Trigger sequel for all platforms would be like printing money.
Krags t1_iwvw1h9 wrote
Chrono Stock. Chrono Magazine. Chrono Hammer?
AmeriToast t1_iwu0c4q wrote
Sounds like a good fit for Sony because they are also pursuing NFTs
CodsWhallop t1_iwt5a64 wrote
So THAT'S what happens when you don't make a decent game in two decades, and still expect people to hire you.
SarcasticDumbasss t1_iwuuepp wrote
I wonder if he made anything out of those sonic movies?
WallabyInTraining t1_iwu4ls9 wrote
That's highly illegal and immoral as well, despicable!
Except if you're a politician, then it's fine, apparently.
OriginalDriedBiscuit t1_iwt8kjg wrote
It's kinda funny a man named Naka(means "inside" in Japanese) arrested over an insider trading
AholeBrock t1_iwttkyg wrote
I deeply bow to you sir
retroanduwu24 t1_iwtg14e wrote
Felon Wonderworld
tuco2002 t1_iwt3yyt wrote
Quick, marry a politician, then it will be all legal.
IAmTheClayman t1_iwtfvvs wrote
Gotta play fast!… and loose with financial trading laws
ZY_Qing t1_iwtrbyf wrote
Gotta trade fast
Charod48 t1_iwt6o4e wrote
Heh. Too slow.
Flash_ina_pan t1_iwt6vj2 wrote
He's just trading under the 34th rule governing Sonic Inflation
LazyBird55_X t1_iwtok5t wrote
Tried to pull a fast one
Kbdiggity t1_iwtfmxu wrote
Genesis does what Nintendont...
Wait a damn second here
bigbangbilly t1_iwufea9 wrote
Yuji Naka definitely went In Too Deep
Rosebunse t1_iwtgg9r wrote
Oh...is that really that bad?
Jjex22 t1_iwu5yjl wrote
Not really that bad. It’s sort of a naughty exec crime. We have to have laws against it because otherwise people would be being swindled left right and centre, but yeah, it happens all the time sadly, it’s only usually the non powerful fish that get caught
Yuzral t1_iwtv4bp wrote
Quick Google suggests penalties of up to a ¥5,000,000 fine ($50,000-ish) and/or up to 5 years in jail plus forfeiture of anything gained from the trading. So….yeah.
SlenDman402 t1_iwu4ueg wrote
This is almost as bad as when yoshi committed tax fraud
Deazul t1_iwusde7 wrote
coins shoot out
GoingMenthol t1_iww383o wrote
Sonic Says:
Kids, there's nothing more cool than buying stocks you like. But if someone tries to frontrun the market with insider trading, that's no good.
tyehyll t1_iwtfuo3 wrote
Been a wild year for Sonic.
LilG1984 t1_iwthjnk wrote
Sonic game over music plays
"I bet the whistleblower was a certain Doctor...." Yuji Naka
marksterp22 t1_iwtiqol wrote
Jimmy eat the sandwich
[deleted] t1_iwtislm wrote
[deleted]
[deleted] t1_iwu9jta wrote
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Kraangprime24 t1_iwvetm9 wrote
Thats no good
cyrixlord t1_iwvfqag wrote
oh wait, so congress can do it, but we can't? so much for 'we the people' lol
AlterEdward t1_iwvrq96 wrote
The last decent game he made was in the 90s.
JulPollitt t1_iwwal7a wrote
shouldve been arrested after Balan anyway
Ill_Damage8978 t1_iwwarrw wrote
Gotta g…et rich fast
JosephMeach t1_iwwkvmq wrote
I too sometimes get greedy and land on spikes whilst trying to get some tempting shiny riches.
Smileyface39 t1_iwuctxv wrote
Look up sonic inflation rule 34 for more information on why he did this and how it relates to inflation
Modnal t1_iwuyiur wrote
What's oniony about this?
Aricircuit_ t1_iwv9gsd wrote
It sounds absurd
Modnal t1_iwvgn9f wrote
I mean it's not a normal headline but it's not mind-blowingly ridiculus. If Sonic was a game about insider trading then sure, but not as it is now
drc84 t1_iwvy2ew wrote
This isn’t a real news website.
Noumenon_Invictus t1_iwtclse wrote
Why does Nancy Pelosi get a free ride on insider trading?
OlympusMonsPubis t1_iwtfd06 wrote
Good question. Why does any politician?
[deleted] t1_iwtgxmn wrote
[deleted]
Noumenon_Invictus t1_iwtihnp wrote
Google “senators insider trading.” Senators are allowed to insider trade. Yes, it’s the law.
ImJTHM1 t1_iwv6pv8 wrote
Not really on topic.
Thedrunner2 t1_iwt244a wrote
Did all of his rings go up in the air when they arrested him?