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mowotlarx t1_j5lvwvv wrote

Reply to comment by pompcaldor in George Santos proposed to teen boyfriend while still married to a woman: report by [deleted]

Some things can be technically legal but still morally and ethically wrong. I don't like the Post either, but this isn't a "spin." You should seriously question any 26 year old who dates or marries an 18 year old.

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shutmywhoremouth t1_j5m06qr wrote

I think the Post has demonstrated that they are selective in which situations they call an 18 year old a teen, and in which ones they'll call them an adult. They are technically correct in either case, but it's hard to believe there isn't ideology behind their choices.

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SSG_SSG_BloodMoon t1_j5nh1rf wrote

I've never met a gay man who agrees with your take, so in my mind it's more or less up to them to govern themselves. If we start seeing gay factions who agree with you then we can weigh in on which side we like

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bezerker03 t1_j5mmjaf wrote

18 year olds are shipped off to war. Are they any less adult? Like I agree it's definitely a case of dude likesem young but straddled the legal line here but we have to draw the line of when you are an adult somewhere and 18 was the number. Yes. Right out of HS is an adult still. A naive one. But an adult.

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mowotlarx t1_j5my5us wrote

So many people telling in themselves in this comment section. There's really something special about adults with life experience who want to date teenagers fresh out of school. BuT iTs TeChNiCaLLy LeGaL. Yea, and you're still a creep. It takes a special 24 year old, for example, who prefers the company of a teenager with no life experience to someone their own age.

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IIAOPSW t1_j5mofk9 wrote

Why tho. Is 8 years always too much? How about 40 and 48? If the latter is not ok, why not? Why does it matter? If the latter is ok, at what age do we accept people can start dating 8 years older/younger if they want? Why do we put the line of adulthood at 18 if we're not going to actually accept the autonomy of 18 year olds when they make decisions we happen to disapprove of?

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mowotlarx t1_j5mxzdr wrote

Man you're really telling on yourself.

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IIAOPSW t1_j5nlbdi wrote

I'm not. I honestly have no horse in this race. I couldn't imagine caring all that much about the age, race, orientation, or anything else about consenting adults. Really curious to see if people can put into words exactly why they feel it's "wrong". Is there any argument to be made for why it's wrong that doesnt imply an 18 year old women doesn't truly have adult personal agency, for there are certain relationships to which they are incapable of consenting and must be a victim? And if we accept the premise of 18 not being the real adult personhood cutoff, at what age does it happen? Is 48 and 40 OK? How about 38 and 30? If the rule of judgment is different from the rule of law, then what exactly is this rule being used to judge for which you and so many others feel so strongly that you imagine it universally felt? I want an explanation that isn't just cheap shot implying that anyone who doesn't agree must be a pedo. That's lazy Qanon their bullshit. Answer the question. Why exactly is it morally apprehensive, in your view, for an 18 and 26 year old to be in a relationship?

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richarizard t1_j5mtpcv wrote

Yeah, this seems like a big ol' "duh" to me. I'll take the hypothetical even further. What if an 18 year old and 48 year old are in a consensual relationship that isn't based on power or manipulation and isn't hurting anybody else? Why should anyone else care? People in general just seem to have a hard time letting other people do what makes them happy when they wouldn't do it themselves.

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mowotlarx t1_j5my0mc wrote

/s? I hope?

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richarizard t1_j5opica wrote

Please see u/IIAOPSW's previous reply to you. I'll repeat a variation of their question: why exactly is it morally reprehensible, in your view, for an 18 year old to be in a relationship with another older adult? Again, assume the relationship isn't based on power or manipulation or anything like that—just two people with an age gap who swiped right on Tinder and met up.

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mowotlarx t1_j5oqx4n wrote

>assume the relationship isn't based on power or manipulation or anything like that

Lol so we're just playing make believe. 🚩🚩🚩

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Zlec3 t1_j5m17el wrote

I’m 29 and dating a 23 year old. Am I a monster ? It’s the same age difference.

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big90burban t1_j5m5pzy wrote

Pretty sure your mathing wrong... 26 - 18 = 8 & 29 - 23 = 6. And you'd only really be considered a monster if the individual your dating is under 18 (with a 6 year age difference), but if they're old enough to buy an alcoholic beverage, then who cares? And my wife is 8 years older than me, and she's not a monster, though I do joke quite frequently ,"Is she robbing the cradle or am I robbing the grave?"

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mowotlarx t1_j5miikd wrote

You don't know the difference between dating an 18 year old teenager right out of highschool and someone past college age? 🚩

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big90burban t1_j5mqsp4 wrote

Sorry, I was on the older side for highschool (September birthday). I graduated in '04 at 19 years old and went to community college for 2 years and then graduated from a university 4 years after that, so 6 years after highschool I graduated college. I'm not saying a highschool senior should date a college graduate by any means, especially since at those ages no one's got their shit together, and I'm sure it's not a healthy relationship. That being said, 6 or even 8 years is nothing in the grand scheme of things...

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mowotlarx t1_j5mxtw5 wrote

...I beg you to recognize the difference between a 49 year old dating a 43 year old and a 24 year old dating an 18 year old. This is a lot of mental gymnastics to excuse an adult dating a teenager.

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big90burban t1_j5n1xz4 wrote

I never said it's ok, as a matter of fact I specified that I don't believe a highschool senior should be dating a college graduate. I said 6 or 8 years is just a number, my wife and I are 8 years apart. We never even realize our age difference in daily life. At an older age, you have life experiences, what to do and not to do. At those ages, you don't necessarily have the mental wherewithal to make decisions that couples of older age posses.

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mowotlarx t1_j5n76hr wrote

I'm talking about adults dating teenagers. Not age gaps between 30 year olds. If you met your wife when she was 18 and you were 26 (or visa versa), that's pretty gross though.

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big90burban t1_j5oa6j7 wrote

Yes, it is abhorrent for an adult to date a teenager, not sure how many times I have to say it. All I am saying is in the grand scheme of life, 6 or 8 years is nothing, with the caveat that the two people are consenting adults. Yes, I was 26 when we met, she was 34. Hence my joke about craddle robbing vs grave robbing. And it's vice versa, not visa versa.

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mowotlarx t1_j5ob3me wrote

You keep replying to comments about adults dating teenagers with your "age is just a number" comments and you're confused as to why you seem like a massive red flag? This story isn't about age gaps. It's about preying on teenagers. If you actually thought that was abhorrent you wouldn't be spending so much energy talking about your older wife.

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big90burban t1_j5obn8u wrote

I keep replying about age is just a number because that's all I'm talking about. I don't need to talk about Santos or adults dating children because that's not something that needs to be discussed because it's already bad and has been stated over and over. I'm not disagreeing with you or fighting with you, never was. I keep referring to my wife as an example of an 8 year age gap in a healthy functioning relationship.

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