Submitted by Tomatomir t3_11emseg in relationship_advice
Me (26M) and my girlfriend (24F) have been dating for 3 years.
I will note that my girlfriend is Georgian.
Her family is kinda old fashioned, and that messed our relationship in many ways over the years.
For example, even now, we can't sleep together overnight because it's not considered appropriate by her parents to sleep together before marriage.
Before I go any further, I must say that my gf does not share the same values as her parents, and she suffers as much as I do from it.
Lately, the subject of marriage has been brought up in conversation between us, and I said that I won't even consider proposing before we live for some time together.
I truly believe that it's a necessary step to go through as a couple before considering moving forward with the relationship. I've heard about plenty of couples that had amazing dynamics, but as soon as they moved in together, they figured out that they couldn't live together and they broke up.
I don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm finding out that I cant stand to live in the same house as my partner after we're already married and now we need to go through a divorce, instead of just breaking up if things don't work out.
I've explained my logic to my gf, and explained that its a principle thing for me, and instead of giving me a proper response in the like of that she doesn't agree with my views or opinions (which if that was the case, it would've been a completely different story), she just said "we wont move in together before marriage because it doesnt line up with my family old fashioned values". (Which again, she hates and doesn't agree with)
We've talked about the contradiction of her words and actions before, and it boils down to the fact that she is kinda spoiled and she doesn't want to set bounderies for her toxic parents because she is afraid they will cut her off..
We got into a heated argument last night about this topic, which by the end of it, she asked me, " What's the point of continuing dating if you're not gonna marry me? We won't be loving together before marriage because of my family. " To which I responded, "I will seriously consider proposing as soon as we'll move in together for at least a couple of months."
What do you think I should do? Talk to her and try to convince her that she should think for herself for once instead of chickening out because her parents were raised in a different time when living together was considered wrong..
Should I talk to her parents and try to get them to see my point? Or should I seriously consider breaking up?
P.S. Sorry if it's a bit hard to understand, English isn't my native language.
AutoModerator t1_jaewfwu wrote
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.