Submitted by DarkBlueFlame36 t3_1278hjk in relationship_advice
DarkBlueFlame36 OP t1_jed5p4u wrote
Reply to comment by WildlyUninteresting in Me (36F) and husband (35M) in this endless "you're not listening to me" cycle by DarkBlueFlame36
It started happening a bit about three years ago but now seems to be daily. It's been worse since he's started with a new therapist who seems to be all about validating feelings and self advocating.... which is all great in principal but when you have to live with someone who tells you that your genuine attempts to help them are somehow an attempt to brush their feelings under the carpet, it's really infuriating.
WildlyUninteresting t1_jed7x8j wrote
It would be perfectly understandable if you are at your end with it.
He doesn’t actually sound interested in changing. Being the permanent helpless victim may be his goal. It appeases him of responsibility.
He’s coping by giving up. It’s self destruction and you are on the ship with him.
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