I (F22) found tinder on my boyfriend's (M25) phone.

Submitted by ThrowRAFreshAsaDaisy t3_127k2f7 in relationship_advice

I have been dating my boyfriend, Adam, for about 4 years now. He had been in a different city for 3 months and i met him after he recently came back. He was showing me something on his phone and i saw tinder. I asked him about it and he said it must've been accidentally installed with the update. I let it go at the time because i didn't want to create a ruckus in the restaurant. I texted and confronted him later on, asking him why he had it. He told me that his friend, Jay, must have installed it when he asked to borrow Adam's phone. I find this suspicious because Jay is a grown man with his own phone, so why would he need Adam's phone to use tinder? Adam claimed that when he opened tinder, Jay's profile was open. And he lied the first time, saying that the app was installed with the update. Now, Adam has a history of cheating on me in the past. I've forgiven him and he's been better but it's hard for me to trust him. He's been begging me not to leave, that he really didn't do anything this time and it's not his fault. All of my friends agree that it's very weird for a guy in a relationship to have tinder. I can't believe him, yet i ask myself, what if he's being honest this time? I don't know what to do, please help.

TL;DR: Found tinder on my boyfriend's phone. He's cheated on me in the past but claims he didn't do anything this time. Idk what to do.

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JMarie113 t1_jeef4mo wrote

He's lying. He installed it. If it was an accident, he would have uninstalled it as soon as he saw it on his phone. He is cheating or trying to.

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ThrowRAFreshAsaDaisy OP t1_jeefs09 wrote

that's what I said to him, and he claimed that he simply didn't see it.

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mymainisoccupied t1_jeenuxq wrote

Ok. Then he should be perfectly fine with deleting his profile and the app while you watch him. If he’s not and comes up with excuses then you know he’s lying.

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YourRAResource t1_jeefaz9 wrote

Ah yes, the old accidental install, which often is the case. I'm obviously joking. It's quite difficult for an app to accidently be installed. He stumbled upon the App Store/Google Play. He then accidently typed "Tinder" into the search bar. He then accidently clicked it. He accidently confirmed the download. Having read that, does it not now seem completely ridiculous?

But then it didn't end there. That was just his first excuse. Then his friend must have done it. Because obviously people borrow your phone and download dating apps for themselves.

You then toss in the fact that he has a history of cheating. I mean, what's it going to take for you to walk away? He's obviously still cheating on you. The thing is, he's never going to stop. Why? Because he's been shown that there will never be any consequences for his actions. It's time to show him there are. Good luck.

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ThrowRAFreshAsaDaisy OP t1_jeefujw wrote

you're quite funny😂

You're right though. I should show him there's consequences to everything he's out me through.

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lampsofa t1_jeeg4m7 wrote

It’s not about showing him - it’s about you choosing a brighter future with someone you trust is honest. Don’t even give this man your spite. Give all your energy to you and move on for you !

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ThrowRAFreshAsaDaisy OP t1_jeegdaw wrote

put* Again, you're right. It's time i focus on myself. Thank you, kind stranger :)

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IdeaEven2648 t1_jeewyi0 wrote

you better. this time you caught him with a dating app, next time it's an std. herpes for example which is incurable. get tested regularly if you want to tolerate this and tell him to atleast use condoms.

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Everythingn0w t1_jeefspc wrote

Not only is he a cheater and a liar but he also thinks you’re stupid. You can do so much better!

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ThrowRAFreshAsaDaisy OP t1_jeefvvz wrote

Bet he is. Thank you :)

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Puzzleheaded_Ad_1634 t1_jefct59 wrote

You deserve better girl! No man in a relationship would need tinder on his phone. He wants to try and spin this on you or make u feel guilty or crazy for not believing him.

He's a dud. Focus on yourself. You sound lovely!

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lampsofa t1_jeefyly wrote

He’s lying and that’s a dick move

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trishsf t1_jeegp6h wrote

And it’s his friends pot. That’s an excuse a teenager gives a mother. He’s lying. Leave. Expect better next time.

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Kubuubud t1_jeeiz28 wrote

He’s a total liar and he’s definitely cheating or considering it at the very list. He’s already changed his story a bunch of times AND has a history of cheating.

You deserve better! Show him that you respect yourself and dump his sorry ass

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Mountain_Monitor_262 t1_jeejpsa wrote

You’ve already accepted his past cheating instead of breaking up. This is who he is. If you don’t like it then dump him. You can’t change him. All he can do is improve his lying to hide things from you. Develop some self worth and quit adding more years to a worthless relationship that should have been over.

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Puzzleheaded_Ad_1634 t1_jefczgd wrote

Can't really argue with this... my mom kept thinking she could change my stupid dad after his..mistakes..

Life doesn't work tht way OP. Dump this AH

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Unable_Duty7809 t1_jeeiung wrote

"I frequently down load dating apps by accident, register, upload carefully curated photos, fill in a bio and start liking women all without my knowledge. Sometimes, and this is really odd, I end up on dates with them and I don't even know how I got there.

It's weird, you know. So glad you are understanding."

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