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[deleted] OP t1_jefhx8w wrote

Reply to comment by Creative_Recover in im so depressed and stressed that she left me (21m) and she is (20 f) by [deleted]

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Creative_Recover t1_jefior6 wrote

Erm, no girls don't "move on the next day or so", they are just as feeling as men are. Using people to move on from other people is also foolish (hearts don't work like that), this Reddit is full of people trying to seek advice after suffering problems because they rushed into new relationships before getting over old ones. Plus it is also quite devaluing to other people to be used like this; how would you like it if someone was only talking to you so that they could stop thinking about someone else?

You two were in a relationship. You need time to heal and work on yourself and get over this one before you venture out into the dating scene again. Don't use women to validate, medicate or distract yourself; you need to learn how to value and make peace with yourself on your own terms.

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[deleted] OP t1_jefjacs wrote

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Creative_Recover t1_jefnwd1 wrote

They really don't. Just because someone gets a lot of attention doesn't mean that getting over a broken heart and a bunch of failed hopes for a meaningful relationship is any easier. Most of the attention women get from men is unwelcome and adds little to their quality of life.

Also, nothing is more valuable than working on yourself. You are going to face a lot of rejection in life but if you learn how to fundamentally value yourself such things will bounce off you're made of teflon. Confidence comes from within and not other people!

Nobody like's a self-deprecating and needy person either. You didn't like your GF looking for validation from others, but with how you're behaving how you are any different? Because it sounds like you base your self-esteem on being validated by others even more than she did (and perhaps this is why you hated her TikToks so much? Because you were projecting your insecurities onto her). It;s pretty hyprocitical to accuse her of hoe behaviour when deep down, you're just as hoe for the attention of the opposite sex as she was.

Stop obsessing over getting attention. And don't use people to get over people. You're not acting respectable or mature here. If you want a better people and a better life, then you need to be the kind of person in it that you want to attract.

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[deleted] OP t1_jefpe8y wrote

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Creative_Recover t1_jefqd10 wrote

Trust me, people who go on dates back-to-back aren't practicing anything healthy (its a very problematic behaviour) and aren't as confident as they seem. You need to get over this whole "Popular people have life better" mindset stuff, the grass is never as green on the other side as you'd think.

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[deleted] OP t1_jefqo2x wrote

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Creative_Recover t1_jegim7b wrote

Seriously dude I would overlook you because as you are right now you are just one big ball of red flags. You really need to get your shit together and take some responsibility for yourself. You have no-one but yourself to blame here for why things ended with your Ex, she was right to lay down some boundaries. I've given you some practical and positive advice but there's no helping you when you're intent on whinging and shitting on yourself at every opportunity possible.

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[deleted] OP t1_jefr90y wrote

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Creative_Recover t1_jegi5cd wrote

Ask any woman out there what they look for in a man and I guarantee you that none will go "Well...For starters he must be really depressed and have 0 belief in working on himself, be a constant ball of stress filled with insecurities and use me to get over his Ex. Oh, and I'd really like it if he also looks down on women, has misogynistic attitudes, self-deprecates himself constantly and ruined his previous relationship from cheating on his girlfriend and then trying to control her".

But sure. Definitely women's fault that you keep on getting rejected.

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