RagequitSparks t1_iujjjds wrote on October 31, 2022 at 8:24 PM

Reply to comment by Blissful_EDM in Girlfriend (23f) Gave "Ultimatum" Regarding Scattered/ADHD behavior to me (29m) by [deleted]

I get that, I’m so good at holding promises to other people but when it comes to holding myself to that same standard I shrug it off.

I had that happen to me this past weekend. There were so many things I said I was going to get done around my house and I ended up maybe getting only one of those things partially done. It sucks, and I hate that I’m like this because I don’t want to be. I was formally diagnosed with ADHD as a child and took Ritalin for years, but at some point I just stopped and never talked about it again. That was when I was 10? It’s been roughly 18 years since then and I just recently realized that I might still be dealing with it along with my depression. After all, it’s been proven that most people with ADHD struggle with another form of mental illness, mostly depression and anxiety.

If this is something you really want to change in yourself, seek a therapist. They’ll help give you the tools you need to overcome.

Blissful_EDM t1_iujpiek wrote on October 31, 2022 at 9:05 PM

Yep, sounds like me. Started taking concerta consistently when I was around 9 or 10. Stopped around 14 and started up again while in college on vyvanse. I do not struggle with depression or anxiety (maybe a SMALL amount, but nothing notable).

And I've started eyeballing therapy. It's just a wild position for me because while I have had those major gripes with myself and I'm ashamed of myself it's never really come back to bite me in the ass and I thoroughly enjoy myself and my spot in life currently. It wasn't until getting into a relationship that I quickly realized that my behavior doesn't really fly for long term stability and would probably make anyone begin to worry about the future. The other user here stated it sounded like a red flag from a 23 year old that hasn't even gotten their degree yet or started their career to be saying something like that to me, but you and I both know it's an extremely negative behavior to have.

RagequitSparks t1_iujvitj wrote on October 31, 2022 at 9:49 PM

I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag from her, more so an inability to relate/empathize with your mental illness. I do think the “ultimatum” is a bit much, but you guys talked that through and got to the bottom of it.

If you’re happy with yourself then there’s no reason to do individual therapy. I was saying seek it out if you think you need it. I do think you need couples counseling tho, because a therapist in that sense can help her understand your struggle and maybe give you both the tools to manage.