Perfect warnings. Especially the "fault" one. Could have found a better word, but there is a reason I put scare quotes. She was actually the one who instilled it in me there is no winning in discussions/arguments between couples. Even though we never really argued at all. Thank you for the help!

Thanks for the help. That is actually something I can bring up in the near future to her and see if she would be on board. Feel like we're both level headed enough to have a neutral third party smack some reality into the one at "fault" for that type of discussion.

That's something I will look into. Already read just now about negative thought patterns from a fellow ADHDer that they only realized through CBT and it made a lot of sense. Granted, testing around different meds/doses is probably the recommended starting point for ADHD. I'll just have to figure it out and I'm going to try my best to put my foot down on myself and do so.

Yep, sounds like me. Started taking concerta consistently when I was around 9 or 10. Stopped around 14 and started up again while in college on vyvanse. I do not struggle with depression or anxiety (maybe a SMALL amount, but nothing notable).

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And I've started eyeballing therapy. It's just a wild position for me because while I have had those major gripes with myself and I'm ashamed of myself it's never really come back to bite me in the ass and I thoroughly enjoy myself and my spot in life currently. It wasn't until getting into a relationship that I quickly realized that my behavior doesn't really fly for long term stability and would probably make anyone begin to worry about the future. The other user here stated it sounded like a red flag from a 23 year old that hasn't even gotten their degree yet or started their career to be saying something like that to me, but you and I both know it's an extremely negative behavior to have.

Yeah, I would be lying to myself if I said the topic at hand didn't rub me in a weird way given the context. But it is also something I've realized about myself and never voiced it to her. One of my largest gripes about my own self and she hit the nail on the head. With that being said, she even agreed on the call that I've never hurt her or neglected her due to my tendencies I mentioned above. Just kind of came out of nowhere and it's a decent shot to my confidence during what was a fun little phone call.

She even stated numerous times that her questioning herself and me 99% came from her unfounded fears. Which she is actually currently in therapy for to some extent. Just puts me on edge a little because I have a feeling if I didn't completely agree with her statements it could have potentially spiraled into a much different conversation. But the conversation was extremely long and in depth and she was mainly focused around worries regarding future finances, house chores, potentially taking care of a child, etc, etc. Things that COULD potentially be overwhelming for me form what I've shown. Don't know what else to say other than there is a metric TON of context missing from both sides here.

I appreciate the reply and the great insight. It's awesome you guys were able to work through it and hopefully we do as well. Our communication is indeed amazing for each other. Very level headed and logical and no one raises their voice remotely. We're also both deeply involved in psychology and bring that into conversations as well. She seems to want to work with me and she even agreed on a very strong point I made. I'm VERY good at keeping promises and holding myself to doing something when OTHER people are involved. Guilt, embarrassment, etc eats away at me every single minute if let's say we shared that vehicle and she was asking if I could take care of it. But when it's something that only effects me I procrastinate and barely get around to it.