Submitted by [deleted] t3_yil5p7 in relationship_advice
Blissful_EDM t1_iujo8dy wrote
Reply to comment by EnderDitto in Girlfriend (23f) Gave "Ultimatum" Regarding Scattered/ADHD behavior to me (29m) by [deleted]
Yeah, I would be lying to myself if I said the topic at hand didn't rub me in a weird way given the context. But it is also something I've realized about myself and never voiced it to her. One of my largest gripes about my own self and she hit the nail on the head. With that being said, she even agreed on the call that I've never hurt her or neglected her due to my tendencies I mentioned above. Just kind of came out of nowhere and it's a decent shot to my confidence during what was a fun little phone call.
She even stated numerous times that her questioning herself and me 99% came from her unfounded fears. Which she is actually currently in therapy for to some extent. Just puts me on edge a little because I have a feeling if I didn't completely agree with her statements it could have potentially spiraled into a much different conversation. But the conversation was extremely long and in depth and she was mainly focused around worries regarding future finances, house chores, potentially taking care of a child, etc, etc. Things that COULD potentially be overwhelming for me form what I've shown. Don't know what else to say other than there is a metric TON of context missing from both sides here.
EnderDitto t1_iujqnlg wrote
Missing context on Reddit is unavoidable lol. I highly recommend couples counseling just to make sure there isn't anything bad, intended or unintended, going on on either side. Your communication already sounds like it's starting well and having a professional involved should only make things better.
Blissful_EDM t1_iujr3ed wrote
Thanks for the help. That is actually something I can bring up in the near future to her and see if she would be on board. Feel like we're both level headed enough to have a neutral third party smack some reality into the one at "fault" for that type of discussion.
EnderDitto t1_iujsoor wrote
Two quick warnings to leave you with. Seeking "fault" is not good but seeking understanding is great. Resisting or avoiding counseling is a bad sign that I hope doesn't happen in your case. You seem to be on a good path. Good luck to both of you.
Blissful_EDM t1_iujwqlo wrote
Perfect warnings. Especially the "fault" one. Could have found a better word, but there is a reason I put scare quotes. She was actually the one who instilled it in me there is no winning in discussions/arguments between couples. Even though we never really argued at all. Thank you for the help!
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