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Capricondor t1_iujeskb wrote

Reply to comment by tinny36 in My wife (F 30) started talking with a therapist and wasn't ready to tell me (M 29). She lied about what she was doing and I dug in. Now she's mad that I didn't trust her but I'm mad she lied to me. by [deleted]

First of all, her seeing a therapist is something I have wanted for her for years but never new how to tell her without it offending her. So I support this 100%! Especially now with a new emotionally taxing job as an ER Veterinarian its super important. My worst nightmare is relationship problems and I don't believe that is the case.

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Am I the asshole for feeling betrayed and lied to? Am I just blowing this way out of proportion from my angle? Maybe I'm hurt because I've wanted to get a therapist for the last 6 months but haven't felt financially stable enough. Maybe this is all on me?

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tinny36 t1_iujhzj9 wrote

Again, stop saying it's this big 'lie' and that she 'betrayed' you. I mean, you said you have wanted her to see a therapist for years and never told her. Isn't that kind of a betrayal? As for her not being honest with you, sometimes therapy is something people want to keep private so focus on this being a chance to be more open with each other and how great it is to want to grow and seek help.

If you want to seek therapy, please do it for yourself, there are often some free outlets for you to at least get an initial few sessions like through workplace benefits, etc. But don't hold it against your gf that she has done this for herself...you can't resent her for doing something you wish you could, but haven't.

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sxfrklarret t1_iujocn3 wrote

YES, YES YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE!

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Capricondor t1_iuk31un wrote

I appreciate you being mature about this and taking the time to explain your point of view. As this is a serious issue and I take this very seriously it means a lot to me.

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