Youre not confused.

You want to leave but have already classified yourself as “an absolute fool” if you do.

People end relationships all the time, why cant you? Your post is filled with criticisms of him and things you dont like but please know You are CHOOSING to stay with him.

We cant change anyone else. You are choosing to stay in a relationship that isnt working anymore…for what? “To keep up appearances”?

Dont take our word for any of this, its been 5 years, you have plenty of material to take and go discuss all this with a therapist and see what they have to say.

Best to you🧡