Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title! Found our husband of 7 years and two toddler had an affair. He knows it’s my non negotiable and worst nightmare as my own parents divorced when my dad had an affair with a coworker as well. It was discussed and made clear MANY TIMES. We had issues - he think I wasn’t “the girl he married”, not as fun. But I’m like dude - I had two kids, now 2 and 4, with 0 family support (I’m an expat), and I still think I was pretty damn good. Why does he keep telling me I’m a good mother ? It doesn’t feel like a compliment but I can’t explain why. I haven’t worked in 5 years - classic case . 7 year itch. Dependant woman who devotes own life to his career. Find affair right before Xmas. I’m grossed out by how completely basic all this is. And I can’t stop crying . While looking after 2 tiny kids. This was an affair over many weeks with coworker I had to discover on my own, not a confession .

He’s probably telling you that you’re a good mom bc you associate a good parent household with two married parents and therefore he’s basically manipulating you into thinking well i’m a good mom so i should be married.

please know that you are a good mom no matter what and you are still young and can definitely re marry with a guy that won’t cheat on you. The issues you described (of him feeling like you aren’t the same) will only get worse with time as you mature as a mother and he doesn’t mature out of a childless man mentality. A divorced household with happy individual parents is much better then a married household with miserable parents

[removed]

What’s his response?

Did he quit his job?

because it’s not a compliment, at least not in the sense of an actual compliment.

He is basically saying you’re a good mom because you’re willing to stay and put up with his behavior. I’m sorry to say that’s not a good mom that’s someone who is trapped by manipulation and needs to leave.