She [F20] asked why me [M20] and her younger brother aren't very close despite dating for almost a year

Submitted by ThrowRA_120226 t3_10q7gle in relationship_advice

So she brought this up to me and I said I haven't seen her brother that much and when I am with her family, there isn't a lot of things I could think of that would start a conversation with her brother. She then compared me with the boyfriend of her friends which made me upset. What shoould I do?

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YourRAResource t1_j6o9zth wrote

Why would there be an assumption to be close? Separately, how old is he?

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ThrowRA_120226 OP t1_j6oa7py wrote

He is 17

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YourRAResource t1_j6oe467 wrote

What does "being close" mean? Did she bring this up early on?

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ThrowRA_120226 OP t1_j6ofh6d wrote

by being close she means talking to him and having conversations

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YourRAResource t1_j6oibdx wrote

I think you could logically sit down and ask him how things are going and get to know him, but unless you've been openly rude, I think your girlfriend is overreacting.

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StonksRUs69 t1_j6obsud wrote

That's a hard one to approach.

I dated my ex for about four years, and this was never a concern of hers, outside of her asking me to text her brother now and again. That said, I wasn't close with her older sister or younger brother. Sometimes you just don't have a lot in common with people - that's okay. If you have a family that gets together often (uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.), you'll see a lot of people that don't really have a lot in common but are cordial. You don't have to be close to everyone. Does her brother even care?

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stellastellamaris t1_j6odzkz wrote

Has the brother indicated at all that HE is interested in being close friends with you?

If you get along with her siblings (and they aren't assholes) that's more than enough for most people.

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AuntyVenom t1_j6ofwt2 wrote

It's not fair to compare you to others, and she should know that you didn't like that. Why is it important you be "close" with her brother -- has she said? Because as long as you're not an asshole with family, the rest of the relationship is pretty much up to the 2 people involved.

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