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poetniknowit t1_j6l2lyf wrote

There is no one way to be a good girlfriend. It's really important to have open communication at all times about your feelings. In the case of the need for a little more space from your bf (which sounds funny bc it's long distance, but he's somehow managed to become clingy despite the distance lol), this means telling him what's on your mind in a positive way. You gotta simply let him know "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that sometimes the amount of texting is a bit much- I don't usually sit glued to my phone all day, and when I don't answer the texts, you blow up my phone like I am dead on the side of the road or something lol". Say it however you wish, but you've gotta be pretty straightforward about this. Also, you don't have to answer the phone. There's nothing wrong with putting your phone on silent when you are out and about, and getting in touch with him when you are finished. If he flips out, let him- people overreacting to innocent actions is not a you problem, it's a him problem!

Also, a lot of people text with their partners all day, in long rambling convos, but it doesn't mean you have to respond immediately every text if you're busy. Maybe try to pause the convo next time with "I'm going to be busy doing XYZ for a couple hours. I will get intouch tonight once I am settled in."

If he behaves irrationally when setting very simple boundaries, harder chats need to happen. Not every relationship is like this! He might just be a bit needier than you initially thought...and if he cannot respect your boundaries then maybe it's not the right guy, not that you aren't a relationship person...

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smartgirl_dumbmouth t1_j6l4gwx wrote

Thank you for saying this! I feel like I have tried to communicate this but I probably sugar coated it because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I might take what you said and copy and paste it lol

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poetniknowit t1_j6lafpy wrote

I am a super blunt person, so my loud ass would've probably told him to chill the first time lol. It all just depends on how much jokey sarcasm your partner can handle lol! If he flips out though, then that is def a red flag, bc what does he think, you're just cheating on him 24/7 if he doesn't have you hostage on the phone?! You'd look like a jerk if you phone's going off every 5 seconds in a restaurant, esp with friends. And who wants to stop reps every 5 secs at the gym do their bf doesn't start calling them constantly? Mute the phone sometimes babe, you'll not regret it lol.

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