poetniknowit

poetniknowit t1_j6lafpy wrote

I am a super blunt person, so my loud ass would've probably told him to chill the first time lol. It all just depends on how much jokey sarcasm your partner can handle lol! If he flips out though, then that is def a red flag, bc what does he think, you're just cheating on him 24/7 if he doesn't have you hostage on the phone?! You'd look like a jerk if you phone's going off every 5 seconds in a restaurant, esp with friends. And who wants to stop reps every 5 secs at the gym do their bf doesn't start calling them constantly? Mute the phone sometimes babe, you'll not regret it lol.

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poetniknowit t1_j6l4j6z wrote

I mean, it's one thing to be sensitive but that seems like an excessive amount of getting upset on a regular basis. Unless she's actually seen a psychiatrist or therapist before I wouldn't immediately rule out some sort of imbalance, may it be depression or not. There's all sorts of mood disorders out there, and if she starts to cry at the littlest inconvenience that means that her moods aren't very stable. You say that these crying jags can continue on and off throughout the day- hormone imbalances can also put your body out of whack, where these emotional outbursts are just bubbling waiting for something to give them permission to bubble over.

Maybe she was an only child or the youngest and used to getting negative attention like this from her parents. Even if you guys have a good relationship, sometimes people revert back to immature, childlike behaviors when they are in a relationship with someone they trust. She's getting her needs met when you jump into caregiver mode, which isn't fair to you, bc being around someone who is so fragile that even simple things like filling out a form can ruin their entire day is a bit much.

You cannot walk around on eggshells avoiding confrontational conversations simply to spare yourself even more tears on her end. If she's crying all the time, you're going to have to cope with it anyways, so you might as well get this stuff off your chest before you end up resenting the relationship enough where you are just done with all of it. Whether you suggest she see a doctor to check her levels, or a therapist to teach her some actual coping skills, something's gotta give!

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poetniknowit t1_j6l2lyf wrote

There is no one way to be a good girlfriend. It's really important to have open communication at all times about your feelings. In the case of the need for a little more space from your bf (which sounds funny bc it's long distance, but he's somehow managed to become clingy despite the distance lol), this means telling him what's on your mind in a positive way. You gotta simply let him know "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that sometimes the amount of texting is a bit much- I don't usually sit glued to my phone all day, and when I don't answer the texts, you blow up my phone like I am dead on the side of the road or something lol". Say it however you wish, but you've gotta be pretty straightforward about this. Also, you don't have to answer the phone. There's nothing wrong with putting your phone on silent when you are out and about, and getting in touch with him when you are finished. If he flips out, let him- people overreacting to innocent actions is not a you problem, it's a him problem!

Also, a lot of people text with their partners all day, in long rambling convos, but it doesn't mean you have to respond immediately every text if you're busy. Maybe try to pause the convo next time with "I'm going to be busy doing XYZ for a couple hours. I will get intouch tonight once I am settled in."

If he behaves irrationally when setting very simple boundaries, harder chats need to happen. Not every relationship is like this! He might just be a bit needier than you initially thought...and if he cannot respect your boundaries then maybe it's not the right guy, not that you aren't a relationship person...

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poetniknowit t1_j08hawr wrote

Yeah I am sure, but I am confused. I was under the impression we were going to spend a bit more time looking into the weird laptop and learning why there's a camera feed at all. Trying to understand the connection between the two...especially since we aren't hearing about any footage on the laptop, like the title said. I forgot what I was reading for a few secs lol.

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poetniknowit t1_ivn63e7 wrote

Fuck that, I would've smothered the thing with a pillow the minute the doctors turned their back lol. Doubtful doctors would've let you walk out the hospital with basically a living tumor lol. They'd wanna experiment on it!

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