Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_j6mhvoq wrote

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.


#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

yellowdog898 t1_j6mhzrv wrote

She will again and too young. My recommendation

39

Turbulent_Fee_940 t1_j6mikck wrote

Even if she never cheats again is it something you could believe? Are you going to worry every time she’s out without you? If you answered yes then maybe you should find a new gf. You’re young, you’ll land on your feet.

7

eqsposed t1_j6mj5o5 wrote

Have some self respect bro. SHES FOR THR STREETS

19

ExpensiveEntrance2 t1_j6mjh7k wrote

If you take her back then you're telling her that cheating isn't a deal breaker.....cheating should always be a deal breaker

13

Pricklypicklepump t1_j6mjwut wrote

Speaking from experience, she is 100% more likely to cheat if you take her back.

If you don't respect yourself, why would she respect you?

End this and every single relationship where cheating is involved. If you were married 21 years, I'd still give you the same advice.

19

lonewolf369963 t1_j6mks03 wrote

If you want to go through the pain of being betrayed again then reconcile

4

Murky_Anxiety4884 t1_j6mm1on wrote

It's possible. A lot will depend on how and why the cheating happened.

0

CollectionMost9526 t1_j6mmfkm wrote

Nah, don’t entertain the idea of getting back with her. Being cheated on his highly disrespectful to yourself and if I were you I’d really reconsider if you could actually forgive her. Needless to say you’re 21, why carry on with someone who disrespects you. You should probably have an onto the next mentality at this point in your life.

3

hshsgdve t1_j6mnczl wrote

If you get back with her, she’s more likely to cheat than she was the first time. She will also see you a lesser man.

2

Redd_81 t1_j6mnitb wrote

There will be a point, it may be 1 year... 5 years....10 years.... from now when you will look back to this moment and ask yourself 'Why the fuck did I take her back?'

Hopefully, it will be before kids, marriage, and a mortgage are in the mix. But who knows...

3

spiteful_rr_dm_TA t1_j6mosz7 wrote

She is young and so are you. Cut the turd loose and move on. Or stay and get cheated on again and again. Cheating is a character flaw, something has to be broken inside a person to cheat

2

CuriousOdity12345 t1_j6n0j4b wrote

You are too young and handsome (but not as much as me) to stay with a cheater.

2

vndin t1_j6n161q wrote

Forgiving her will tell her its ok for her to do so again bc u wont have the nerve to do anything about it. She made her choice when she cheated... u deserve better

Do u want to live forever worrying about who shes around and working with?

2

Smart-Deer-72 t1_j6n1en3 wrote

You're 21. Go have fun and dont be worried about relationships. Don't ever take back a cheater.

1

canadianbriguy1 t1_j6n5beq wrote

Reddit overwhelmingly says no, but there are couples that come back from this. Don’t just outright forgive and pretend it didn’t happen though. If nothing changes then yes, it’s very likely to happen again and easier this time. You need to have a long or series of talks. She needs to find out why she would do this. Then is this something that can be fixed? She will need to understand that she needs to regain your trust. That may take a long time, it might never happen. You need to put things in place to be able to trust again. Open phone policy? No partying if you or someone you 100% trust are not with her? Whatever it takes to make you feel safe in the relationship. You take the opportunity to better yourself as well. This isn’t your fault but a wake up not to get too comfortable in the relationship until she can make you feel confident. Work on you, and the relationship will improve for it, and if not you will be better for it. She has to know these are take it or leave it options. If she’s not willing to accept she needs to change a lot, then it’s time to walk away. Your relationship ended when she cheated. Look at this as trying to build a new one or walking. Don’t try to just carry on where you left off. It’s ok to forgive and try again. It’s ok to walk away.

2