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CrystalQueen3000 t1_j6nhufi wrote

You do realise that as a 30 year old dating someone whose brain isn’t fully developed yet that you’re one of those men that you’re worried about right?

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[deleted] OP t1_j6nioup wrote

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angradillo t1_j6njdfi wrote

gross, and you met them at work? only missing “I’m her boss” for the full trifecta of power imbalance.

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SadEngine42069 t1_j6nj84i wrote

Right, but it does kinda matter. She's 20, quite young, and probably pretty immature. Plenty of 20 year olds go out and really go hard with the drinking. If that's what she wants to do, she's going to do it, and you can't really stop her.

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Chaoticgood790 t1_j6nnej2 wrote

As someone who is 30 there is something creepy about being “close friends” with a college kid.

Because they feel like kids at this point.

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[deleted] OP t1_j6novvi wrote

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Chaoticgood790 t1_j6nrkvy wrote

She is college aged dude. Stop playing obtuse. No one is buying the bullshit

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[deleted] OP t1_j6ntpjn wrote

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on3day t1_j6nv1v9 wrote

You said you weren't here fo discuss the age gap, yet here you are.

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almightygarlicdoggo t1_j6nlbe1 wrote

> she made the first move

Don't use that as an excuse, because that's not a valid excuse. As a more mature adult, you are supposed to know when some decision made by someone much more inexperienced is wrong. She made the move but you allowed it to continue.

> I'm not here to discuss the age gap in our relationship because we have already spoken a lot about it and we are at terms with it.

You brought this on yourself. It's clear that you're not at terms with it since you are concerned about her going out. Deal with your decision, she's much younger and in a completely different stage in life.

If you thought she was responsible enough to date you, surely you should know that she's responsible enough to go out with her friends. Don't let her feel bad about it. Dating you shouldn't deprive her of enjoying her 20s.

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jabmwr t1_j6nljmo wrote

20 year olds are somewhat naive in life and relationships. Her brain isn’t fully developed regarding impulse control and decision making - this is something you can’t change and will effect your relationships and her actions/responses. As a 30 year old man, you’re going to deal with a lot of anxiety and stress as she grows, establishes herself/ego, and makes mistakes. That’s part of growing up…making mistakes. Y’all are clearly at different life stages.

All you can do is talk about safety and I hope her friend and she have each other’s backs.

Also, just because she came onto you, doesn’t mean you were obligated to reciprocate.

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