Girfriend (F25) confessed me (M33) she had a crush

Submitted by CRD89 t3_10qczsa in relationship_advice

Hello everybody , (M33) here , dating a girl ( F25 ) 8 months now , and last weekend she confessed something I was already aware of , but never spoke about.

Couple of days ago , we smoked a joint together and expecting to have a good time. Instead , an SMS popped up on her cell at like 11 pm from a coworker of her asking some work related stuff ( not relevant ). Nothing bad until here .. but she kept refreshing her screen for 2 mins tops , waiting for an answer on her reply , which both being high , it started bothering me.

Asked her , what’s the deal here , why u so impatient , almost desperate ? She said nothing. I asked her , do you like him ? She answered straight no ! But after that I asked her , but did you liked him before did you? And she said she had a crush on him when we started dating , and that the crush faded away a month into our relationship , nothing happened between them , that’s what she claims and that he doesn’t even know about her crush. I told her : I knew you were liking him before because she mentioned him almost on a daily basis when we started dating.

This is so akward to me , tbh .. I don’t know how to get past that thought .. that she continued dating me , for a straight month even when she had a crush on another dude. Idk if I should take a step back to reflect what I should do next, even tho I know she loves me , and she want’s to be with me , still I feel like almost I wasn’t her 1st choice kinda. Thank you for reading.

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The_Crowley89 t1_j6pad8k wrote

"even tho i know she loves me." - come on bro. You are her second choice. People in love do not develop crushes. Cut your losses while its still just a flesh-wound.

Walk away and tell her good luck with that crush.

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CRD89 OP t1_j6parqc wrote

She developed this crush before us dating , and she told me it was gone like almost 1 month into our relationship.

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The_Crowley89 t1_j6paxl7 wrote

She was obviously not honest with you. The silence after your question was LOUD AS FUCK.

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yowen2000 t1_j6paba4 wrote

If she wants to be with you she needs to stop hanging on this guy's every word. She needs to make that relationship purely professional. At the moment she is emotionally cheating on you, perhaps mildly so, but still, she is.

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Crazy_Perception_731 t1_j6pelgs wrote

It sounds like she still has a crush on him but maybe he is not available. Her constantly checking her phone waiting for a reply kind of gives it away.

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SnowSlider3050 t1_j6pjs32 wrote

Have you ever had feelings for more than one person at a time? If you want to continue your relationship and grow your relationship understand your gf is a human who will have feelings and its not unusual to have feelings for more than one person. Its how we deal with these feelings.

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