Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

AutoModerator t1_jdnnjmw wrote

Welcome to r/science! This is a heavily moderated subreddit in order to keep the discussion on science. However, we recognize that many people want to discuss how they feel the research relates to their own personal lives, so to give people a space to do that, personal anecdotes are allowed as responses to this comment. Any anecdotal comments elsewhere in the discussion will be removed and our normal comment rules apply to all other comments.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

Wagamaga OP t1_jdnnp4v wrote

After six years spent tracking health outcomes among nearly 925,000 Danish seniors, investigators determined that when a man between the ages of 65 and 69 loses his wife he is 70% more likely to die in the year that follows, when compared with his non-widowed peers.

Among surviving wives, however, that rise in risk was just 27%.

Why the difference? Study author Alexandros Katsiferis said he could only offer a few theories.

"We do not have the data to accurately answer that question, so we cannot be very confident on the reasons why this phenomenon tends to happen," noted Katsiferis, a doctoral fellow with the section for epidemiology in the department of public health at the University of Copenhagen.

But he pointed out that elderly widows may be better than widowers at "absorbing the shock, [including] the hurdles of taking care of a sick husband, along with all the needs and quirks" leading up to the husband's passing.

By contrast, it could be that the "physical and emotional health [of men] relies on the willingness of their spouse to take care of them," he added. "So, when their wife is out of their life, you get this collapse."

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2023-03-spouse-lethal-men.html

167

allstevenz t1_jdomjbn wrote

Sounds a bit like Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken-heart syndrome)

7

redditknees t1_jdovuki wrote

How many of those men were capable of cooking for themselves?

112

Narcan9 t1_jdp2rj9 wrote

Proof that women can haunt a man even from the grave.

−32

Narcan9 t1_jdp35gg wrote

Replying to Wagamaga (#2,357,762)

I think older women are better at maintaining social relationships. They have things like weekly coffee groups. If the husband dies they have a better social network to rely on.

194

YesterdaySimilar2069 t1_jdp441g wrote

Replying to Narcan9 (#2,363,165)

Im curious about how these studies will look in another 20-50 years with the blurring of gender roles and improvement in men's support structures. It'll be especially interesting to compare the data of same sex couples. I think the reasons for this are quite complex with regards to women's support structures and them coming from a generation where the woman is expected to take on the lions share of domestic labor, which is the bulk of labor performed after people enter the retirement years. I find that a lot of old men don't appear to have hobbies or volunteer gigs, which are huge life extenders. Yay social sciences. So much theory, no way to prove it. Haha

83

washu_z t1_jdp5mmx wrote

It’s got to be at least partly because their wives were the ones making them take their medications, go to the doctor, checking up on them etc.

196

pound-town t1_jdp93rr wrote

Replying to allstevenz (#2,361,359)

That’s an acute thing that will get you hospitalized. This is more likely the emotional and household toll it takes as well as whatever the wife was making their stubborn husbands do.

13

Heterophylla t1_jdpebsb wrote

So if you make it past one year you are probably good? Also, what are the absolute numbers? I can't find them in the paper. I hate relative risk in headlines.

4

XvoyagezX t1_jdpjt2t wrote

wouldnt that just be because of lonleiness?

2

CorgiSplooting t1_jdpkno0 wrote

Hookers and blow? I mean if I’m 69 and single that’s a great way to go…

−16

deck4242 t1_jdpqubt wrote

Thing is usually men die first anyway. Ots quite rare than husband oulive his wife.

−14

Fantastic_Beans t1_jdpvsjv wrote

Replying to washu_z (#2,363,436)

I work at a hospital. The amount of times an old man has answered the question "What medicines do you take?" With "I don't know, but my wife has a list." Makes my head spin. Sir, you are 60 years old and you can't keep track of a medicine list on your own?

119

Fufrasking t1_jdpvz7n wrote

Yeah cuz he no longer has a live-in life coach monitoring his every drink, every smoke, every late night. Nothing to stop from staying up until dawn thanks to lines of good coke snorted off a $200/hr stripper's belly. Pizza at 4am. Driving fast. A recipe for disaster. After an appropriate mourning period of course.

−13

Fantastic_Beans t1_jdpw30j wrote

Replying to Heterophylla (#2,364,332)

I'll give you a cheat sheet in case your wife dies and leaves 65-69 year old you alone:

Know how to cook

Know how to keep a house clean and orderly

Know how to do laundry

Know how/when to make doctor's appointments

And take your goddamn medicine!

Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's the whole "men refuse to see a doctor unless their wives force them to" thing that does them in. Why are y'all like this?

30

fwubglubbel t1_jdpxp06 wrote

And not a single mention of the causes of these deaths. What a pointless article.

−11

silver-fusion t1_jdq2grs wrote

Replying to Fantastic_Beans (#2,366,223)

/> Live long and happy life

/> Work for 99% of my adult life

/> Spend life with soulmate

/> Finally retire

/> Body has been falling apart for years. Everything aches.

/> Soulmate permanently and irrecoverably exits life

/> Don't really feel like prolonging the suffering or getting dementia

/> Let's nature take its natural course

/> Get criticised by a misandrist with no life experience online

17

rydan t1_jdq5dp6 wrote

Replying to Fantastic_Beans (#2,366,223)

Or, and just hear me out here, find another wife. It shouldn't even be difficult as the number of men between 65-69 is far less than the number of women of the same age group.

−21

dracuella t1_jdqc3op wrote

Replying to krum (#2,364,851)

I was about to make the same comment (source: Danish woman).

I was sure my dad could cook until he and my mum (finally) split up and went their separate ways. She remarried, he remained single. Most of his diet would consist of Danish ryebread with spread, which isn't necessarily bad but it definitely doesn't cover minerals, vitamins and such. He does cook on and off but let's face it, mostly he can't be arsed.

I'm thinking most of his generation (70+) are the same.

16

dracuella t1_jdqc8f5 wrote

Replying to Fantastic_Beans (#2,366,188)

It's not that they can't; they're just so used to the wife taking care of all the bits and bobs at home that they delegate this to her, too. My granddad didn't even know how to operate the washing machine or the stove.

49

dracuella t1_jdqct09 wrote

Replying to MNAK_ (#2,362,472)

A UK friend of mine told me they had to move his granddad into a home because he lived on cold, baked beans on toast and was basically malnourished. That's not a pleasant conversation to have with a beloved relative.

12

styder_hiru t1_jdqd1zo wrote

Never get married, never die. Understood!!!

16

sharkysharkie t1_jdqiod2 wrote

Replying to MNAK_ (#2,362,472)

>Seems more likely the men just spiral into unhealthy habits without someone to cook, clean, and take care of them.

It is very wrong to assume the only reason why these husbands die shortly after is because they lost their ‘servants’. In fact I laughed. Loneliness and social isolation is a terribly strong factor for diseases.

The more isolated people are, the less happy they are, and brain function declines as well as physical health.

“The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80,” says Robert Waldinger, a psychology professor at Harvard Medical School.Those who kept warm relationships got to live longer and happier, said Waldinger, and the loners often died earlier. “Loneliness kills,” he said. “It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”.

7

Droomkar t1_jdqk559 wrote

Just dont get married, then you avoid trauma ez clap

2

JeffreyDawmer t1_jdqnmhe wrote

What happens if you look at single males in this age group vs widowed males?

3

Hot-Control-7466 t1_jdqs5ye wrote

So much man bashing. Men can’t cook. They won’t take their meds. Did you notice women had a 27% elevated risk, too?

The researchers said they couldn’t explain it but that won’t stop Reddit.

−3

stonedsour t1_jdqzz3f wrote

Replying to YesterdaySimilar2069 (#2,363,273)

I believe it. My dad owned a store for many years and was social in that he was friendly to the customers and would say hi to them while out in town. He literally has no hobbies or friends and his life consisted of just going to work, running errands, watching tv and eating dinner, going to sleep, rinse and repeat. Now his store is closed and he still doesn’t have any interest in hobbies and he doesn’t have any close friends. It’s like he doesn’t know how to do those things and it’s pretty sad but he refuses to change

6

CanuckInTheMills t1_jdrfn4n wrote

Two people eating the same foodstuffs for 30+ years are bound to have the same health outcomes. To me that’s just common sense.

−6

Dontsleeponlilyachty t1_jdrivmt wrote

I wonder how this compares to the population diagnosed with dementia? My grandfather died in 2021 my grandmother is still tootin' along, but she has had dementia for nearly 5 years; and constantly forgets her husband passed away.

1

JeffreyDawmer t1_jdrp1gg wrote

Replying to Objective-Mechanic89 (#2,372,134)

What? I'm wondering if the grief of losing a loved one is all that's at play here, or if it's the loss of social contact and what the effect of each could be. No need to get snarky because you didn't understand the question, it just makes you look bad.

1

tiletap t1_jdrvvh9 wrote

Replying to Narcan9 (#2,363,165)

Anecdotally, after my grandmother died in 1983 my grandfather continued for another 25 years, due in large part, I think, to his regular meetups with friends and continuing to swim just about every day.

3

singularineet t1_jds6228 wrote

It's really really hard to control for confounds in studies like this. Some latent variable can decrease both life expectancies, husband and wife. E.g., black mold in the house, or poor eating habits, poor exercise, even common genetic factors if people tend to marry others who are genetically similar. Carbon monoxide issues from the heating system or in the car. Similar attitudes toward risky behaviour. Common sources of stress. Similar sleep habits. You can spitball this stuff all day, but unless you do a controlled study (which would seem unethical in this case) you're still going to have a lot of doubt about causality.

1

shereturnedthering t1_jdstyvx wrote

Okay so my grandma (dad’s side) passed away, and then my grandpa who was healthier and stronger died within the same year. On my mom’s side however, my grandpa passed away after struggling with illness and my grandma is still going strong 7 years later.

On another note, I remember an interview where women and men were asked to choose if they’d rather die or their spouses, and all men answered they’d rather die first, but all the women said they’d rather live on and their husbands die instead.

Hmmmmm

2

JetBlackBoogie t1_jedn0fm wrote

The amount of people who read an article like this and immediately see it as an opportunity for gender point scoring is disgusting.

Imagine you were being so dismissive of your own Father, Brother, or Son.

The point of research like this, at least in part, is to help people. Poking fun at dying elderly men is not helping to resolve anything.

1