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yanbu t1_j1i21qz wrote

So many misandrists out there saying it’s just a case of a victim of DV protecting her abuser. This is what it’s so frustrating about the current state of affairs of family law for men. Even an just an accusation, even in this case where there was significant physical evidence to refute her claim, has a massive negative effect on men’s lives. (I say men here because there isn’t really any for women. In fact female on male domestic violence is 10x the rate of the other way around, albeit with less serious consequences much of the time, and if you call the police as a guy in many jurisdictions YOU will be the one arrested.) False accusations are actually quite common, and it’s not even hard to understand why. You put someone in a high stress situation, she punches the guy hard enough to break his glasses, the police show up and she’s worried about catching charges and not being able to see her kids but she’s got an easy button, an instant way to make the stress, the police, and her husband she’s pissed at go away: say he hit me. We shouldn’t be surprised that this happens and we definitely shouldn’t take accusations lightly, but we need to give people a little grace and not start destroying their lives before having a chance to uncover the truth.

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TheRareWhiteRhino t1_j1j2mjc wrote

If you want anyone to take what you are saying seriously you will do the work to provide a source. If you won’t (or more likely can’t) provide a source for your stated claims, your comments have no merit. They’re just musings from an unreliable narrator.

So…will you provide a source?

…I doubt it.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1id7l4 wrote

Yikes! I know someone with a penchant for hitting women.

Edit. What is wrong with you people downvoting me? He wrote that men suffer 10 times the DV that women do. Thats not even in the realm of the truth. This is insane and frankly, evil.

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yanbu t1_j1ido6y wrote

Thanks for proving my point.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1ik93w wrote

You wrote that men suffer DV ten times more than women. That’s insanely incorrect and makes you an awful person to tell lies like that. And the fact that people are upvoting your garbage is appalling.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1inb6i wrote

Yeah I’m not sure where they got that information, it looks to be incorrect. Most research indicates that DV is mostly gender symmetric. We just don’t care about men getting abused in western society.

But yes it was also ironic to call the poster an abuser when the post was about illegitimate abuse allegations. Almost like you were trying to prove their point.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1ioyjp wrote

Yeah. It’s a real stretch to think a guy telling gross lies about DV might have some shady behavior in the past.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1iuw3h wrote

Yeah this is actually a pretty interesting thread right here - the other guy is exhibiting textbook right wing incel behavior and you’re exhibiting textbook liberal cancel culture behavior. He’s spreading misinformation and you’re taking the bait, and making large scale unsubstantiated accusations about his entire person.

You two were made for eachother. Literally, by big media. They divided us into you two, and are now conquering.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1iviar wrote

Hahahahaha! Liberal cancel culture. You mean the consequences for one’s actions. You’re awesome. Thanks for that laugh. Gotta love the “centrists”. Folks who lie about DV are the same as folks who call out the lies. Perfect!

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1iwr6e wrote

Nah consequences are great. Censorship of dissent using big tech is not. Silencing dissenters using unsubstantiated allegations is not. All around the me too movement has had a very positive impact on society and for women. Cancel culture has been hijacked by the censors and is being used to silence opposing narratives.

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yanbu t1_j1impcr wrote

If you extrapolate from the extremely low reporting rate and the official stats on female on male domestic that number isn’t that far off. Male on female domestic violence is more likely to lead to injury but women are 2x as likely to use a lethal weapon and is much more likely to lead to the male committing suicide (probably plays a large role in the disparity between suicide rates between the genders). Please consider evaluating your prejudices rather than just calling people evil and closing your mind whenever you run into an idea that runs counter to your beliefs, it will help make the world a better place.

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LetterheadLow2142 t1_j1inulo wrote

Dude, you are pulling these numbers out of your butt. Women are not twice as likely to use a Lethal weapon. Women are overwhelmingly likely to die at the hands of male abusers than men are to be killed by women, regardless of whether those women are survivors or abusers. You can easily find this data in the FBI annual report on violent crime and every state offers the same data specifically for your state.

It is true that men are less likely to report being victims of DV but there are many complex reasons for this, but the data we have collected overwhelmingly shows that abuse men experience at the hands of female perpetrators of domestic violence are non-violent methods (e.g. financial abuse, emotional abuse, chronic infidelity, etc.)

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yanbu t1_j1iqqiu wrote

Edit: responded to wrong thread sorry.

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blumpkinmania t1_j1ioqax wrote

Ok. I’m just glad to see you admit that you made up your numbers. I also like you wrote that women use lethal weapons 2x more than men. That’s cute. We all know women are far more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men. But you weaseled your way around that. You could work at Fox News with that kind of written word gymnastics.

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yanbu t1_j1ir8e0 wrote

Ah well, I tried. I hope you can learn to hate a little less at some point. Merry Christmas.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1int6u wrote

Current research indicates DV is gender symmetric. The smart people already extrapolate from low reporting rate to estimate roughly a 1:1 ratio. People are equally shitty, who would have thought. You are correct about the consequences though, women are much more like to get seriously injured.

Saying high male suicide rates are due to abusive women… pure incel trash.

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yanbu t1_j1iqx1c wrote

Here’s a quote from the Australian Institute of Suicide Research and Prevention, can’t find the study without putting some actual looking in but draw your own conclusions. “almost half of male suicides are linked with relationship issues”. There’s a pretty solid picture of a relationship between male suicide, dv, and other family related issues.

So, once again, I ask you to actually confront your prejudices rather than just perpetuating the problem.

I’d like to note that nothing I’ve said detracts from the issues women have with DV. It’s a serious concern. But we won’t have a healthy society unless we address the entire problem.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1ittuf wrote

Pretty big jump, relationship issues to DV. Weird that you’re cherry picking your research - you’re conveniently skimming over all the research that shows DV is largely a general neutral issue. That alone is contrary to conventional wisdom, but that’s not enough for you. Based on your experience with life, you need men to be the victims, and seek research that confirms this bias. If you’d like to form a well rounded and substantiated opinion, look at the entire body of research. Read the methodology. Develop opinions of your own. Don’t get your information from angry men competing for your attention. This is classic divide and conquer. Instead of blaming a sick society that concentrates resources and relationship opportunities, you’re being tricked into blaming women.

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yanbu t1_j1iui0u wrote

I haven’t disagreed with anything you’ve said or claimed men are the only victims, you’ve set up a pretty huge straw man there. I ask you take your own advice.

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CoweringCowboy t1_j1iv8ts wrote

Yeah I was more trying to get at the root of what’s causing your behavior - you’re on r/sports spreading cherry picked misinformation about DV. If my strawman doesn’t accurately represent you, feel free to disregard.

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