Submitted by Odd_Ad_5639 t3_11e8sv4 in tifu
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jacwgh5 wrote
Reply to comment by Odd_Ad_5639 in TIFU by cheating on my wife a second time by Odd_Ad_5639
Then leave your wife alone and stop trying to make her life even worse.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jacxxdw wrote
I hate that my decision will hurt my wife more. I wish my daughters future could have included both of us but I screwed that up.
I want to give my daughter the best future and I don’t think my wife will have the means to raise 1 let alone 2 children on her own to a level more than just getting by
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jacyoit wrote
Pay child support and alimony then, Mr “I’m so well off”
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jaczn5c wrote
My ability to provide for her is more than just money. I think my country provides the better child environment and my sins aside I would be able to provide her with a nice loving home
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jad4b6t wrote
And your wife wouldn’t because….???
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jad4isz wrote
Because she will be in her country which I don’t think is as good an environment
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadbemc wrote
And guess who did that? You did. You chose to cheat, which is forcing her to move countries. That’s 100% on you. So wether or not you don’t think it’s a good environment, YOURE the one who caused that situation. Since you’re so well off why not buy your wife an apartment in your country? You really seem like the worst.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadbwdt wrote
She wanted to move anyway. What I did cause her to decide to move now without me. It’s what I deserve but perhaps not what my daughter deserves.
It’s not completely about finances. My wife has an apartment she can live in in her home country
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadcg5q wrote
You cheated on her, that’s what. You broke up your marriage so you could get off, and put your own daughter in a tough situation because you’re selfish. That’s how.
If your wife is moving to this new country on her own accord, then she probably knows what she’s doing. You saying it’s not a good environment means nothing. Is it war torn? Oppressive? What’s so bad about where’s she’s moving other than that it’s away from you.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadcvmc wrote
It’s none of those things. My country has more freedom, more nature, a less oppressive culture.
Her country isn’t bad but I think mine is better.
This is all my fault. I’m not disputing that at all. My wife and my daughter will suffer because of what I did but I want to minimise the suffering my daughter experiences by providing her the best upbringing I or my wife can
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jaddl1r wrote
The best upbringing would have been with you and mom together, but you made the decision to screw her mother over and now you want to continue to do that? Do you WANT her to resent you? The way you speak sounds a lot like you just think you’re better than your wife. She (daughter) wouldn’t be in danger. Have you considered asking your daughter what she prefers?
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadebmf wrote
My daughter is 19 months old and doesn’t have a voice yet.
My wife already resents me and for good reason. The last thing I want to do is hurt her more but I need to consider both my wife and my daughters interests
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadhs0s wrote
Oh Jesus. You cheated when your wife had an infant?? And you want to take a child that young away from their mother? Good lord when does it stop getting worse?
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadhxz6 wrote
I think you know it all now. I’m scum
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadic8t wrote
So maybe make an effort to stop being scum instead of being… whatever this is?
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadijjr wrote
I’m trying to do what I think is best for my daughter.
It’s not perfect and unfortunately it hurts my wife but it’s the best I think I can do
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadkr7h wrote
What’s best for your very young daughter is to be with her mother. If you truly want what’s best for your baby, try talking to your wife about maybe relocating in the same country. Work something out, but a kid that young needs it’s mother.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadmxk8 wrote
Wife is relocating to her country. That’s non negotiable unfortunately. Daughter is young now but i need to make the decision based on her whole life not her current age
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadpita wrote
Sigh. I’m really sorry you’re this way. If your account of this story is this bad I can only imagine your wife’s side.
You have an opportunity to change, you really do. But the entirety of your responses are “my hands are tied I guess, I know I’m an asshole but gosh darn it, I’m doing what’s best for me I mean my daughter!!
I really sympathize with your wife. You’re emotionally manipulative and you seem to know it but have no idea how to stop being that way. I hope this thread was at least a little bit of a wake up call for you because the one suffering the most by your ignorance, is your daughter. Good luck dude, I really hope everyone in this situations lives improve
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadpwzt wrote
I’m being 100% honest so my wife’s side is probably not too dissimilar from mine.
I’m as fked up as it sounds, but I can only try to do what’s best from here for my daughter
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jadq71s wrote
Again “my hands are tied”. You seem self aware only of your past mistakes but not of the ones you’re currently making. Which is probably why you cheated a second time after feeling “so much remorse”.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadr0qe wrote
My hands are not tied. I am making the best decision I can for my daughter. Unfortunately it hurts my wife.
I hate myself for what my wife has to go through but I need to put emotions aside and see what is best for my daughter
BeckyW77 t1_jaeb070 wrote
We know you're scum. Your trying to take your child from her mother. You are actually willing to make her pain and suffering that much worse so you can claim you "love" your daughter more. Give me a break.
BeckyW77 t1_jaeap9m wrote
I doubt it. As soon as you find a new hot wife, you'd put her first. And then put any children you both had above your current child. It's written all over you that you and your feelings are what matter, not another person.
bsuvo t1_jad5jt3 wrote
Yeah come on, drop the act. You clearly don't give a shit or feel you did anything wrong. There is no way you feel bad for cheating on your wife and still think making things right for her means taking away her children
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jad62jn wrote
You have every reason to not believe me but I will regret what I have done until I die.
My wife means a lot to me, so I am extremely ashamed about how I have treated her.
Taking custody of my daughter isn’t the right thing by her but I believe it is the best for my daughter, all things considered (even though I did cheat and cause this situation)
CourtBarton t1_jad6dct wrote
You don't regret your actions. You regret the consequences of those actions.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jad717l wrote
I regret my actions very much. I wish I never did it, I have huge shame for what I have done.
Hot-Tone-7495 t1_jade6c7 wrote
Then why’d you do it more than once? If you felt so ashamed what was the reason you did it again? Your shame must not have been too big.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jadein5 wrote
I have no words to explain why I did it a second time.
I am very ashamed of my behaviour and I wouldn’t do it a third time even if I hadn’t been caught.
I’m aware I’m a failure as a human being
BeckyW77 t1_jaeai9r wrote
As soon as what you want conflicts with raising your child, you'll either abandon your child, or ignore her needs. I have no doubt about that . You claimed you really and truly loved your wife, but had cheated once...and then did it again. There is nothing about your actions and words that show you are truly putting your daughter first. It's all part of your ego.
Odd_Ad_5639 OP t1_jaemmaj wrote
That’s a fair criticism and I deserve it but it’s not how I feel. I messed up twice and I deserve the divorce. I can only try and take care of my daughter by letting her have the best upbringing. I think that is in my country, and not in my wife’s
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