TIFU by poorly hiding my sex toys in my religious family household

Submitted by -0-00-0- t3_118npse in tifu

Welp, I never thought I would be making one of these. And also using one of my alt accounts.

So I'm 17M and in the throughs of puberty and horniness. Now while I'm not a total porn-sex addict, I do watch it from time to time and flop the bishop every now and then.

So around a month ago I decide that the good ole hand and DIY sex toys weren't going to cut it for me anymore. I wanted to up my game. I did some research and discover the world of sex toys ranging from cock rings, sounding rods, and fleshlights.

So I decide to purchase a few fleshlights, lube, and some accessories to boot. And when I mean a few I decided to go all out and buy $400 worth of them. I wanted to have a good stash that would last me a while.

Now, keep in mind that I'm a pretty tech savvy guy and I know a decent way around being private around the internet. I've built a computer and have usually been the one to help people out with tech-related issues.

I always made sure I would do my research on my phone using data on DuckDuckGo and since I don't have my own credit cards yet, I went to Target and bought Visa Gift-cards with cash. Through my research I heard that it was a good way hide the purchases.

So I order them and they come and for the first few weeks they are a good stress reliever. Solid and sneaky purchase I thought, and I thought I was smart around my religious parents.

So here is where the FU happens. After the great lengths I went to hiding the purchases, I simply left the toys in a crate in my closet that was exposed to my front door. So if my door to my bedroom was open you could see the crate with all the goods if you looked close enough.

Now, my parents never really respected my privacy in my opinion. They rarely knocked and if they ever needed something they would simply barge in.

They are also religious and have a deep faith in the Catholic Church and God. They have sent me to a catholic school all my life but to be honest I could care less about it. I've been thinking on how to tell my mom I want to eventually get married in a garden or something and not a Church and raise a atheist family but I don't think that conversation would go well.

So I guess today they decided to go in my room (unusual, but they've done it while I've been away without telling me before) and you guessed it, they found my stash.

So today when I came home from school my dad confronted me about it and told me how it was bad and a waste of money blah blah and how he thought he finally had one "normal" kid (he doesn't really like my sister because she has had depression for awhile now and doesn't understand her)

You can imagine how awkward that conversation was.

And my mom seems to have locked herself in her bedroom because the door is closed and my guess is she is praying to God. She has been religious all her life and is the one to tell me to go to Church every weekend. I know jacking off is looked down in the Church.

My dad told me that since tomorrow is Ash Wednesday I should use it to "repent my sins."

So yeah, now it's going to be awkward around my parents for awhile now. And all the horniness I had seems to have washed away and let this be a lesson for you and me to hide things better.

TL;DR: Bought sex toys and poorly hid them. Religious parents found my stash and now it's awkward.

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Comments

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MordunnDregath t1_j9i6y6n wrote

>and how he thought he finally had one "normal" kid (he doesn't really like my sister because she has had depression for awhile now and doesn't understand her)

Dude, your dad is an asshole, you have my sympathies.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_j9i76c1 wrote

Just tell your parents that you found these sex toys in several friends houses, and to save them, you took the sex toys away from them.

On an unrelated note, fuck your insensitive unempathetic dad for treating your depressed sister’s mental illness like it makes her less than human

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-0-00-0- OP t1_j9i8uwz wrote

Replying to MordunnDregath (#1,912,618)

Thanks. It's ironic because a good chunk of my sister's depression stems from years of my dad's asshole treatment to her. I'm glad she's at a university far away and doing better there.

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rtosser t1_j9ib834 wrote

Tell your dad you'll go see his medicine man tomorrow and ask him to use one of his spells to heal you.

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SomethinAboutCreamer t1_j9ibdyf wrote

I never understood why most Christians never take mental health seriously. It's really sad, I'm so glad I got to live with my atheist mother instead of religious father.

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OldCarWorshipper t1_j9ig9eq wrote

What you do with your own naughty bits is your business- not your parents', your church's, or even God's for that matter. Keep exploring your sexuality, and to hell ( no pun intended ) with what your parents think.

I subscribe to the Judeo-Christian faith myself, but I still think that organized religion is deeply toxic- especially in matters of sex.

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Exotic_Remove1111 t1_j9irzga wrote

Yeah dawg i’m sorry you’re going through that. My mother recently found god and now everything is satanic and against Christianity apparently. I don’t understand religion at all

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ISClark t1_j9iyckh wrote

You're parents are both arseholes. As soon as you can, get out. And take your sister with you if you can. I can see why she suffers from depression.

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homelessdreamer t1_j9iyjy1 wrote

My advice to you is spend less than $400 next time. That is an insane amount for sex toys. The most expensive flashlight I have had is $150 the best flashlight was $6. The robotic stuff really doesn't hold a candle to the nuance and control you get from a silicone cock sleeve with no case and it is significantly easier to hide and keep clean. Also make sure you buy a cleaning agent and clean after every use.

On a non-sexual note, call your sister and tell her you love her. When you have toxic parents having siblings who care can mean the world. It can be helpful for both you and her. It might even help her feel seen which can be a game changer when dealing with depression. Wish you the best and I hope you find a way out of that situation sooner than later.

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Guitar_Chaos t1_j9jh7vn wrote

I hope you don't feel stuck in your family. If you're an atheist it's best to come clean at some point. My parents were the same in a way, and I wish I've told them much sooner I wasn't going follow their rules forever.

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Thrayn42 t1_j9k9y2n wrote

Parents letting their imaginary friend run their lives and control the lives of their children. Honestly they are the ones that are mentally ill.

I feel terrible for your sister. Her dad abandons her when she needs support the most.

Do what you have to until you get out from under their roof. You did not F up, your parents are F ups.

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Moist_Board t1_j9kfgmd wrote

Use Ash Wednesday to buy another sex toy

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Moist_Board t1_j9kfvbq wrote

Countless tifus could have been avoided if we just used our hands

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hemuliheiluu t1_j9kktyn wrote

Fleshlights can become very expensive lol. I first got 1 when I was 18, but quickly bought 5 more while beung horny and stupid (they're 80€/piece). Also got some rings, lube and god knows what and yeah, gotta say I regret that. Spent WAY too much money on those in total

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