First time I ever gave blood the red cross nurse lady was STUPID HOT. Like this gorgeous dark wavy hair, eyes you could get lost in, huge... "tracts of land" incredibly soft skin etc etc.

And I'm 18. So she goes to take my pulse and she's like right up on me and I'm doing the "think about math so you don't imagine ripping her scrubs off and just banging her silly right here on the folding table fuck it's not working holy shit she's hot" thing and she's like "your pulse is kinda high, are you ok?" And I'm 18 and being all "don't picture those full lips kissing you and doing other stuff. Oh fuck now that's all I can fucking think about" and croak out a "yeah?"

And fortunately her male coworker overhears and is like "hey let me try and take his pulse and immediately right back in the normal range.

That motherfucker knew