TIFU when I spoke to the surgical planner

Submitted by sugarintheboots t3_124xj47 in tifu

So, I’m getting surgery, and when I met the surgeon, I quite literally became Twitter-pated, transfixed, obsessed, hypnotized. He is so good looking he should be on tv. Plus, he’s a really caring one too. I harbor no illusions about a relationship, but I’m crushing hella hard. I’m also surprised about my feelings because I’ve never felt this way about any doctor.

So anyhow, the surgery was postponed & today I just got the update. I was also going over new symptoms with her. I was so happy that I blurted out to the scheduler that—-please don’t tell him but he’s soooo hot, I mean those blue eyes & everything!!

Welllllll—he was ON the call. I just heard him say,” Well, that’s good to hear!” I wanted to die. How and I gonna face this man surgery day?

TL;DR: Got surgery date & fessed my undying love for my surgeon to scheduler, surgeon heard everything.

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AllanfromWales1 t1_je1d5q2 wrote

"I won't need anaesthetics, I'll pass out just looking at you"

852

SamIAm718 t1_je1zfxw wrote

"hahahahahahaha! But seriously, please give me lots of drugs. I will definitely need anaesthesia."

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ThadisJones t1_je2tep2 wrote

"No need to clamp to control the bleeding, all my blood is, uh, somewhere else at the moment"

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genmischief t1_je1vdgl wrote

>How and I gonna face this man surgery day?

DANG. Thats gold.

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rde42 t1_je2gty9 wrote

I was in hospital for ten days due to an infection after a prostate biopsy (look it up).

On discharge day, the consultant came round with an attractive woman (a registrar I think) called Claudia.

All was fine but my blood pressure was high. He said "we won't worry about that, we make allowances for the Claudia effect".

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boytoy421 t1_je4e8e4 wrote

First time I ever gave blood the red cross nurse lady was STUPID HOT. Like this gorgeous dark wavy hair, eyes you could get lost in, huge... "tracts of land" incredibly soft skin etc etc.

And I'm 18. So she goes to take my pulse and she's like right up on me and I'm doing the "think about math so you don't imagine ripping her scrubs off and just banging her silly right here on the folding table fuck it's not working holy shit she's hot" thing and she's like "your pulse is kinda high, are you ok?" And I'm 18 and being all "don't picture those full lips kissing you and doing other stuff. Oh fuck now that's all I can fucking think about" and croak out a "yeah?"

And fortunately her male coworker overhears and is like "hey let me try and take his pulse and immediately right back in the normal range.

That motherfucker knew

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eljefino t1_je2tf09 wrote

Doctors regularly make allowances for "white coat fever."

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[deleted] t1_je4y45g wrote

[deleted]

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penderhippy t1_je585tf wrote

>I may have also told the anesthesiologist that he smelled nice. I am so embarrassed. Nurse anesthetist asked me if I wanted some medication to calm down prior to wheeling me into the OR and I was like, "yes, absolutely."

my people, both of you's.

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anakusis t1_je2aze3 wrote

A few years ago I was taking a medication with priapism being a rare unknown side effect. I woke up with a painful erection and it wasn't going away. Well after the 4 hour mark and an awkward conversation with my then girlfriend we went to the emergency room.

It was awkward enough having to check in with a waiting room full of people hearing me. I was praying the doctor would be a man in his 70s. Instead it was a tall attractive young blonde.

0/10 penis massage.

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sugarintheboots OP t1_je2fg47 wrote

Oh.My.God

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anakusis t1_je2flpe wrote

I wish that was the worst part.

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gregrainman314 t1_je2hx5x wrote

Don’t leave us hanging man!

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anakusis t1_je2jt3m wrote

Well after the penis massage didn't work and the meds didn't either the on call urologist showed up reeking of margaritas and guacamole because of course this was Cinco de mayo. I was on a lot of that fent stuff that's popular with the kids these days so I didn't care. There wasn't enough drugs in the world to make them shooting up my dick veins with saline and some other medications and then sucking it back over and over again. They kept try because the next step was surgery and I think we all appreciated the idea of doctor fajita breath opening my dick.

It finally worked and my knob was an enormous knot of bruises. I would kill for that size. The nursing staff assured me that they see this thing all the time but I've been in the emergency room several times and not once has half the medical staff walked into my room to take a look.

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Loud-Bee6673 t1_je31lsz wrote

Yeah that is rough. I have had to do that procedure a couple of times and it is not my favorite.

Definitely worse for the patient though.

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IllegitimateTrick t1_je3w1gz wrote

As an ER nurse, can confirm. Sorry if you were embarrassed, but we simply don’t care. The weirdest shit happens on the daily. I empathize with your discomfort, just please don’t think any embarrassment is warranted. Glad doctor Cuervo didn’t get you under the knife!

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itsjustmefortoday t1_je4z4uw wrote

I think people don't realise that whatever job role you have, you get used to stuff. For me (in retail) it's people's cards getting declined and they get all embarrassed. But I can promise unless someone is super nice or a super arsehole, we're not giving them a second thought.

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slash_networkboy t1_je5lq8g wrote

My mother is an ICU nurse, did rotations in ER and NICU.

ER was essentially a more concentrated version of what she deals with in ICU, NICU broke her though.

Top stories from the ICU:

  • "This chicken is tough" (from a no solid food patient): chewing on condom catheter.
  • The detox guy. Went in to violent DTs to the point that the pharmacy tech was sent to buy a bottle of grey goose while the pharmacist did the math of how much to add to 1L saline bags to keep the patient from dying from DT. He was there for damage caused by drinking listerine after his wife had dumped his booze.
  • Assorted "you're kidding right?" family stories. Your relative has been mostly dead all day, no they aren't going to be able to go to wherever tomorrow/next week.
  • More than one anal fissure turned septic. "Guess the object" ensues.

Of course she also had heartwarming stories about people getting second chances on life and such.

​

The TL;DR: is I don't think there's much on this planet that can phase my mother medically... as long as it doesn't involve babies.

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ecodrew t1_je33cai wrote

gross warning

A couple years ago, I had a bleeding, infected hemorrhoid that needed quick medical attention. I got their first available appt with their new PA... Who happened to be young and quite attractive. I'm a happily married man and she was ofc ompletely professional. (As was I) Butt, the whole situation was embarrassing enough, esp with my first meeting with their new doc was her examining my infected bum hole. The fact that she was attractive just seemed to weirdly make it just a bit more awkward in a weird way.

Oh, and then we visited my in-laws for a lunch and I had to try to explain that I was sick without the crappy details.

TL:DR Hole situation was a real pain in my ass.

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CptJazzyDragonLord t1_je3nrkr wrote

Its the embarrassment that naturally comes with attraction. If youre not attractes to someone you care less about hiding your flaws

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Catatonicdrgnfli t1_je45asl wrote

I’m just going to point this out - you made any joke I could have followed up with. Bravo.

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Been1LongDay t1_je5s85r wrote

It's good you went ahead and made every joke possible in your post, butt now no one else can have any fun

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ecodrew t1_je6v6eh wrote

Sorry to dump so many good jokes. I'm sure you can find a load more.

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Mike102072 t1_je4k25d wrote

Did the GF at least offer to try to take care of it?

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anakusis t1_je5d5i8 wrote

No she looked at me like "nice try" not that you are really in the mood because your cock tissue is dying.

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DuncanAndFriends t1_je224ke wrote

I get overwhelmingly embarrassed when I have a cute nurse or doctor. Even if they are just there to ask questions.

"Do you have gas or constipation?" Uhhhhhh idk...

"Remove your shirt" Wtf I'm hairy asf and I haven't been working out on my abs or chest

"Remove your hat" I'm bald nooooo!

"Roll up your sleeve" I have dry skin!

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ThadisJones t1_je2toov wrote

When I got my second COVID shot, the person giving it to me was like the cutest Navy Corpsman ever, and when I rolled up my sleeve they complimented my upper arm and I was like AH

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Gernia t1_je2wlgn wrote

When your significant other wonders why you are so happy in 30 years.

​

"Well, there was this one time, 30 years ago, this cute......"

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dontlookback76 t1_je36vs4 wrote

I'm 47 and just had a triple bypass. Most of my nurses were 24/25 years old, so young enough to be my daughter. They were all attractive and what made them more so was they were very caring, very empathetic, and incredibly intelligent and competent. They also had to wipe me down every day everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. You just have to have the attitude that they're nurses, they've seen and done everything, and it's all anatomy. And before the eww old man young lady thing, I find them attractive. I wouldn't want to have sex with them or fantasize about them , I'm more than happy with my wife of 26 years. Plus I honestly have zero desire for sex and probably won't for awhile.

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H3adshotfox77 t1_je3uz8z wrote

Bud you're 47, you are not that dam old.

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dontlookback76 t1_je46vbi wrote

I know. Just feels like it and a triple bypass, congestive heart failure, COPD and oygen for the foreseeable future make me feel like. I'll get better, just going to take some work. It's my own fault. My mental health was such that I was trying to kill myself through lifestyle. I wanted to die of a massive heart attack. I know I should have talked to my psychiatrist about it so that's on me. So all those health issues, having everything hurts because I spent my career doing trade work, and the nurses being so young and I just felt really old. I lived a really bad lifestyle too. I did the surgery for my wife and kids, but it's given me a new lease on life. Don't know why I'm spilling my guts. Thanks for reading if you did.

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ktgrok t1_je4saaa wrote

I hope you are getting treated for depression- it’s super super common after heart surgery, even in people not already dealing with it. Also, many of the meds they likely have you on can lower libido and make you tired and blah. I hope they also have you in cardiac and pulmonary rehab?

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H3adshotfox77 t1_je5pbsz wrote

I did and wish you the absolute best in your recovery. Just remember people can live to be over 100 (I know the trades are rough I'm in them as well) just push to get better and make some changes.

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insertjokehere12345 t1_je3jq9r wrote

Shit. You're super hairy, but bald, have gas and are constipated, dry skin, and flabby chest and gut. Let me take you out for a beer bud.

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Hustle787878 t1_je4vt2q wrote

Before we moved into the suburbs, my kids went to this fun pediatric dentistry clinic. One of the doctors was blindingly hot — as in a former Miss India-level hot. Which she was.

I only attended one visit when she was there, but holy God, I was soooo nervous.

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Just_Cycle_4790 t1_je2azrj wrote

Too funny, the anesthesiologist who did my last epidural the nurses apologized saying he was in a mood, he was serious but professional, but the guy looked and sounded exactly like Philip Seymour Hoffman. He caught wind of my remark and came back saying his wife calls him Philip when she's mad and he started doing impressions during my labor it was hilarious.

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bpayne123 t1_je2uzlm wrote

My husband says I fell in love with the anesthesiologist when he gave me an epidural during my first-ever birth. I mean, shoot! Wouldn’t you fall in love with a guy who took away all your pain?!

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Writegrrl t1_je3248b wrote

I told the anesthesiologist who gave me my epidural that I would now be president of his fan club. The. Best.

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Catatonicdrgnfli t1_je45ksj wrote

I remember saying to mine (the second kid, where the damn thing actually worked): “I’m sure you get marriage proposals all the time. But could we just be friends? I feel like you’d be a great friend.”

Of course baby was sunny side up with a giant head, so a marriage proposal wasn’t out of the question but with my husband in the room I didn’t think he’d be down for my polygamy.

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daveescaped t1_je4nj38 wrote

Ha!

Labor and delivery can be pretty dramatic. I watched the love of my life, my wife, fart directly in the surgeons face while she was sewing her up after the baby was delivered and she’d had an episiotomy. Like the doc was at best 4 inches away and gets a fart directly to the eyeball. Like, strong chance the doc has pink eye the next day.

And the worst part of it all is, my wife will never, ever let me tell this story.

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bpayne123 t1_je4owt8 wrote

I had a episiotomy too! (Very likely because the love of my life anesthesiologist did “too good” of a job. Doc said push, I thought I was pushing when in fact I was not). Anyway, no farts, but 47 stitches for me.

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fiee345 t1_je5h7n8 wrote

I’m daring to ask but how are you now? Did the recovery of that go ok? I can’t imagine how stressful that must have been to get 47 stitches

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bpayne123 t1_je620al wrote

Thanks for asking! Pooping was tough for a while (thank goodness for Colace!). My OB told me to consider a c-section for future births since my perineum was (is) paper thin (think possibly leaking poo juices for the rest of my life if I had to get another episiotomy). So… I went with the c-section 16 months later with my son.

I will say recovering from the episiotomy/47 stitches was easier/less painful than the C-section. Surprisingly. But I don’t regret going that route the second time since it could’ve turned out pretty bad otherwise.

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EmptyStrings t1_je5iue3 wrote

47??? How is there even room for 47 stitches? As someone who wants to start ttc soon I need to just stop reading any threads about childbirth

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bpayne123 t1_je62i81 wrote

Mostly were internal/vaginal. But it went all the way to my a-hole.

I know it sounds scary but honestly I’m good now. It was worth it, and now I have an intelligent 12yo daughter who talks back to me all the time. :)

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Professional_Deal565 t1_je5nyh0 wrote

Did he yell "seven!" From MI 3 when he does the countdown from 10? Most menacing number ever screamed at someone.

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clangin813 t1_je2f02c wrote

I had to get a minor outpatient surgery and the anithesisologist (no clue how to spell sorry) was SO HOT. My husband was sitting right next to me too. Guy did my IV and then gave my hand a squeeze and said he’d take good care of me. Walked away. I swooned. Hubs was like “hellooo right here” and the nurse just goes “girl I KNOW”

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bazjack t1_je2s4kb wrote

My mother had surgery quite a few years ago - on her wrist, I believe? And it was a nerve block in the arm, plus sedation. These were administered by what I was told was an extremely gorgeous anesthesiologist. And she got made loopy enough that she told him exactly how lovely he was.

In fact, he nearly made a mistake that could have killed her, and she helped catch it (she's a nurse). He apologized and she said it was ok because he was so handsome.

So these doctors are used to patients saying all kinds of crazy stuff. Admittedly, they're usually drugged as hell when they do it. But don't worry.

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lollipopfiend123 t1_je24kni wrote

Oh man how mortifying. 😂 I recently had a colonoscopy and about passed out when the anesthesiologist came in. Good lord he was hot. And he was super nice too. Thankfully I managed to control myself and not say anything stupid. I only had to interact with him for a couple minutes.

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Thisisall_new2me2 t1_je1vi26 wrote

You didn’t FU, you couldn’t have known he was on the call.

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sugabeetus t1_je2jl5g wrote

I used to work with a neurosurgeon who was Cory Monteith's cousin, and was as hot as him. But a neurosurgeon. I don't know how anyone got through an appointment with him, honestly.

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zorggalacticus t1_je2ws52 wrote

I had a weird blood infection once. Gave me chest pains and the shakes. Went to the emergency room and they whisked me off the cardiac ward for a bazillion tests. The curvy nurse taking my blood four hundred times kept looking at the iv bag and every time she'd lean across the bed to reach it her boobs were right in my face. At least I was able to hide the boner that time.

Years later I'm at the urologist and the doctor is checking me out. His assistant, who was a hot Indian lady, walks in, says "oops!", then kind of smiles mischievously at me and backs out of the room. No boner that time because doc had ahold of the goods. But she winked at me on my way out. Everyone has an awkward medical story at some point. No big deal.

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ashuriiakemi t1_je3gaew wrote

I had to go to the ER for rectal bleeding a few years back. Well, the nurse explained that the doctor had to do a rectal exam. I'm a mid-20s woman and I couldn't decide the least embarrassing doctor to walk in and strap on a glove would be.

Hottest woman I've ever seen in my life and she was only there to put her fingers up my bleeding butthole.

So I feel you.

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tscello t1_je1c279 wrote

Is he married?

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sugarintheboots OP t1_je1ddh5 wrote

Not that I know of.

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tscello t1_je1e9ac wrote

Then can’t he like, get it?

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Saxamaphooone t1_je1j5ug wrote

If he follows a professional code of ethics, then not for at least two years after OP is no longer his patient…

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sugarintheboots OP t1_je1l9hb wrote

Two years?! 🥵

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ArnoldhBraunschweigr t1_je1uway wrote

Tell them you want a different surgeon.

The things we do for love. 😂

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sugarintheboots OP t1_je1wq2r wrote

No way. He’s the best. 🥰

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DecisivelyArbitrary t1_je23sum wrote

In that case you should send me his name, number , and address. I’ll keep track of him until your 2 years are up.

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ArnoldhBraunschweigr t1_je1z2h7 wrote

Jokes aside, good luck with the surgery.

And after, you should pursue him. We're all rooting for you.

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Xeni966 t1_je2bfvw wrote

OP knows whose hands they want inside him (I don't know what the surgery is)

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Birkin92 t1_je35ptf wrote

The rule of thumb I've been told by my many attendings is to never sleep with your patient. 😂😂 I dunno if 2 years is long enough.

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slinkychameleon t1_je43oeg wrote

Hi, I'm a good looking doctor, you didn't FU. We're human too and a bit of admiration will never go unthanked. We think we look exhausted and stressed 98% of the time so when someone says "you're really good looking" (outside of a drunken a&e patient) it gives us a little ego boost, just like anyone else!

As to how to face him? You won't. He'll say a quick hello before surgery - if you're lucky - and the next time he sees you, you'll be out for the count. And the final time, you'll be so full of anaesthetic you might not even remember! You're safe!

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rdrayman t1_je3wtf5 wrote

When I went to my first ever checkup after moving to where I live now, the nurse comes in to check my vitals, and remarks "Hmm, pulse is a little high". She was a total smokeshow, there's no way she didn't know why my pulse was high. All I could manage was "haha, yeah, look at that!"

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llamassassin t1_je2wzrb wrote

Well, if nothing else you've probably ensured he'll want to take good care of you during the surgery.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_je2oqxm wrote

> Got surgery date

That was just practice for getting the romantic date

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Carebear_Of_Doom t1_je3neho wrote

I just had a hysterectomy a few months ago. My OBGYN looks like George Clooney.

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MrScrib t1_je3vur0 wrote

At a walk in clinic, met the doctor, she looked like a model, was glad I was there for heart palpitations anyway.

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Dragonfly452 t1_je1kr3d wrote

You’ll get over the surgery once he butchers you up and pulls you back together

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TheMartha t1_je27go7 wrote

See him after the anesthesia ….

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sneakhyperion t1_je2qefr wrote

"Oh, well. you can go ahead and let me drown now"

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redheadedjapanese t1_je3fqoj wrote

You probably would have told him when you woke up all drugged out anyway.

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Big_Deetz t1_je4itiv wrote

Write your phone number on your body and hope he gets the hint.

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SmokeLast6278 t1_je4o3n6 wrote

Don't worry about it. We surgeons take it all in our stride. 😉

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thin_white_dutchess t1_je50grc wrote

I had to have a procedure and the anesthesiologist looked just like rob lowe. They couldn’t find a vein and my pulse was racing, so the nurse was trying to calm me down and told me to just “look at the anesthesiologist’s baby blues, that usually calms down the ladies!” I shouted out- “hell no! Rob Lowe is creepy!” I don’t know what was wrong with me (well, I do, I spent way too much time in hospitals as a kid and have hospital anxiety). Luckily, he thought it was hilarious. They eventually got the IV in and all was fine. I apologized later, on painkillers and assured him he was very handsome. I’m a moron.

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Causualgaymr t1_je3zova wrote

Men don’t get this enough it makes me sad it’s considered a F up

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Girlwithpen t1_je3q508 wrote

I'd he is.that good looking, he is used to the comments and response. Sure he won't remember..

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PleaseSendPants t1_je3rv08 wrote

Ask him out while going under. If it goes South, just blame the drugs later. What do you have to lose? Lol

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VegQuaker t1_je49gec wrote

RIGHT before surgery, I told the entire medical team that I loved them and complimented everyone. I had been given stuff to relax me though

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GlitteringVersion t1_je4kyt2 wrote

I would have to ask them to anaesthetise me forever.

Seriously though, he probably took it as a huge compliment and I bet it made his day!

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Oldladyphilosopher t1_je5maqw wrote

I live in a small town and we had an ENT dr who was gorgeous. He was also single and often provided free or low cost care on a case by case basis for kids of struggling families (ha always tried to keep that quiet but small town). The women in town would drool over him in the grocery store and make absolute fools of themselves over him. He ended up marrying a local beautician who was a lovely woman and they had a happy marriage but OMG, the women in town were brutal that he married beneath his status. It was so weird watching chubby middle aged moms absolutely simper over him.

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jessiehodgkin13 t1_je7wqru wrote

I has in hospital for two weeks or so in ICU and had surgery a couple of times in a row. My surgeon was gorgeous and I was always drugged up and liked to tell him how handsome he was in my drugged up state. Or how Gorgeous his eyes are or how amazing he is. The nurses loved reminding me everything I'd said when Id come back out I also had a surgery last week in London, I woke up from the anesthesia and saw my surgeon/doctor. Note that he's the top doctor in the UK for my condition (blood clots) and it took a couple of years to get a referral to him. Anyway I woke up and said are you the surgeon and he said yes I'm so and so and I, in my anesthetic state, went omg you're like a celebrity, I've finally met you! Can I get an autograph? You're a celebrity!

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True_Resolve_2625 t1_je5np3f wrote

God, OP, I wish you had a picture lol I'm happy to hear he took your comment in stride though :)

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philn256 t1_je37hbe wrote

Since he's a surgeon he's probably rich as well.

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Myeerah t1_je473jb wrote

Was it Delagrammaticus? Lol

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CityOfSins2 t1_je485z1 wrote

I’m sure you’re not the first. An attractive doctor? Probably gets sexually harassed multiple times a week by elderly women.

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DootinAlong t1_je55kve wrote

If he's that much of a hottie then this probably isn't the first time he's gotten crushy vibes from a patient. It's probably no big deal to him.

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sybann t1_je5fh4q wrote

No worries - you'll be out for most of your one-on-one.

Sure beats my experience. I HATED my surgeon. He was a DICK.

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teauxni t1_je6aram wrote

It's ok, when you are under the influence of the anesthesia you'll probably say a lot more about how hot he is. And you'll have a chance to do that straight to his face.

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goofyfootjp t1_je4ei3k wrote

Now imagine if the genders were swapped how this would come off........creepy

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Etherius t1_je2jui0 wrote

OP are you 15?

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sugarintheboots OP t1_je2xpmv wrote

Way over 18.

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Etherius t1_je2y845 wrote

Well then you should know that’s objectification

At least you know you FU’d though

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[deleted] t1_je33d65 wrote

[removed]

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Etherius t1_je33w2w wrote

People on this site just can’t be civil when they disagree with someone…

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[deleted] t1_je3414f wrote

[removed]

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Etherius t1_je345ot wrote

You realize civility is a rule of this sub though, right?

Or do you just not care?

0

ReverseThawne31 t1_je347e9 wrote

Ok backseat moderator

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Etherius t1_je34azz wrote

Call me what you want. I’m just gonna report it and let the mods sort it out.

If you can’t be civil you’re not worth talking or listening to. Have a day

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SilentButtDeadlies t1_je3ko81 wrote

Well, it could be objectifying or possibly construed as sexual harassment if a patients comments about his appearance bother him. But it sounds like he took it in a good way. We just don't know for sure what he thinks of it. Although the comments on this thread could definitely be considered objectifying.

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