Submitted by PersimmonWestern151 t3_xzzix1 in tifu
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Submitted by PersimmonWestern151 t3_xzzix1 in tifu
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HEY ASSMAN
That’s Mr. Ass to you
Scissor me
Let me asses the situation first.
Fell on it. From nextdoor.
aren't plugs flared at the end to prevent just such an occurence?
Not enough if they're the cheap ones with a "flared" end that isn't even as big around as the widest part of the plug.
It had a flared end 😵💫 it had a large purple gem heart at the end
Your a$$ is clearly too hungry for a flare that small, you need to size up.
Doc Johnson plugs are great the shape is really hard, basically impossible to suck up in there (if you know what I mean)
Never have I heard an ass being hungry
Risky click of the day?
r/hungry_butts
Oh thank god
Round two!
/r/HungryButts
Fuck.
EDIT: after further investigation, it appears to be a Normal porn sub.
I almost had it.
Yea, those pretty plugs with the gem at the end are not wide enough to not get stuck. I only know this because I read a really funny story about a girl with a gem plug who got hers stuck like yours. Thankfully it didn't require surgery though. I'm sorry you had a really bad outcome.
Aww you pretty
Just like my wife's!
Yes but if the flared base/shaft is too thick compared to the flared bottom your sphincter will just consume it . ie the stem need to be thin enough and base flared enough to drastically reduce that chance. It's not 100% considering how much the human anus can dilate.
Someone's not aware just how wide a butt hole can go when someone is relaxed and aroused enough.
I googled that. There were pics. I hate you.
My work is done for the day and it's only 3am. Excellent!
Freakishly large butthole
Picture or it did not happen
😂😂😂😂😂
That why you should only use a real penis - he can always pull it out.
;-)
as long as it's not detachable!
Wasn't that a King Missle song?
Why were people telling me I should’ve tied a string on it?!
It would be like starting a lawnmower.
Lmfao
Today's Nobel Prize for superb reality goes to GreasyToast325
rrrriiippp
Quick and easy retrieval I guess? I'm surprised the doctor at the hospital didn't try the ol' butchers twine and lube trick. You must have the anus muscles of Superman himself to not have enough room for butchers twine.
String might break. Use 30# fishing line
50# at least
Well, yes, but if you show up at a chess tournament with a dude's dick up your ass the organizers will probably realize something is up.
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Which is why I didn’t talk like that 😂
Just so you're aware of what the above comment is probably making fun of..:
>I'm tryna you know have some fun.
>ayyye let’s go! Everything’s cool.
>stop playing
>yo this is not real life lmao.
>bruh.
>can’t get it out my rectum
>Lmfao traumatized.
Still confused lol
which is the problem.
I'm gonna go ahead and edit the entire post so it looks like someone mature enough to use sex toys wrote it. Maybe then PersimmonWestern151 can see what you guys mean.
TIFU by getting a butt plug stuck. I woke up around 2AM and I thought "Okay, I’m trying to, you know, have some fun..." I woke [my boyfriend] up and was like "Alright! Let’s go!" Everything’s good so far. I go to switch positions and he says “Where did the plug go?”. I said “Stop playing, I know it’s on the bed”. He said “It’s really not”. I immediately started sweating. I put my finger in to check, and it was all the way in. I tried to push it, and it wasn't budging. So he drove me to the ER.
At the ER, I immediately went in and [the nurse] told me to "have a seat" so I said “I can’t, I have a plug stuck in me”. So they put me in a room, and the [doctor] comes in and tries to remove it, and has no luck. At this point it felt like it wasn't real. Then he says “You have to see the surgeon”. They come do X-rays, prep me for surgery, and next thing I know I’m getting wheeled up to the OR.
I’m in the waiting room, and they come ask me to sign for anesthesia and the surgery. They also tell me that if they can’t get it out of my rectum, they will have to cut my abdomen open and get it out that way.
So they gave me some meds to put me under. When I woke up, it was out.
TL;DR [they left this part blank for some reason]
I think you replied to the wrong person
I think it's just teen memes, like lolcats and leetspeak before, except less amusing...
Don't worry about the downvotes, this sub is probably 75% people under 20.
Edit: I forgot to reread OP's original grammar, so now I'm just sitting here looking dumb. Drunk me should probably stop posting so much.
At least it's amusing that I've been combatting the very thing that makes their post make my comment that much more irrelevant.
Lol so what should I have said? “I’m trying to you know, have some fun. Hey let’s go! No way! No way this is real, LOL. Man. Hahaha crazy story”???
You're right, proper grammar is silly.
Bruh I dead ass have a plug in my ass on god fr I’m tryna get this out of me no cap I feel sus af and those are factuals, bruh 💀💀💀💀💀
I would think it was a dude
Could be!
Analytics puts the majority of reddit users at 24-35.
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Why did you censor butt? 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
It really seems like hospitals should have a specialized tool for exactly this purpose. Make them cheap and disposable, even. It could just be a loop with a tie you can pull on to cinch it closed around the glitzy "free gift" plug, or the back wheels of the hot wheels car or the 0.50 cal bullet or whatever seemed like a good idea at the time.
The old ass lassoo
Ass lasso
Like a mini version of the dog catcher thing.
Like a diamond drill for bottles?
r/AnarchyChess
the BEADS
Without a base without a trace!
Did you keep it?
Of course!
Next time look for a butt plug with a ring shaped opening at the end. Those give either you, your partner or the doctor something to grab onto to help pull it back out if it ever gets stuck again.
Rectum? Wrecked'em?...
Damn near KILLED'em!
Time to block this sub.
Hope you're not in the us
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So it’s been an hour since the post and I don’t know if asking the op of their gender against the rule or not. These days it’s hard to say or even allowed to think…
Female
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luckily they didn’t have to. They got it from my rectum. I really used a plug lol
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Always attach a string with a coffee mug or television remote tied to the end so it won't get lost.
wheres tl;dr?
Chess is a bad influence.
So you had surgery or it came out after they put you under? I use RIF and you can screenshot a deleted post before it disappears. So I read about your butt. Well wishes!
These comments are very strange without context. What was the fuck up?
Pics or it isn't true!
Won’t get me banned😂
Did they have to cute through your abdomen?
Rectum. Forceps and lots of lube.
Did they return the LOST item? LOL
Yep lol
How did they get it out????
Post a pic of the unmentionable.
Your bf probably has a dick, try that next time. Or a strap on.
Yea like why he has a dick use it
Do taxpayers pay for these fuck ups?
I'd rather every dollar I pay in taxes go to this than subsidies and bailouts for massive corporations.
Or the military
Yes
Wow, I guess I'm the only one who thinks this is a Darwin award topic.
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Play degenerate games, win degenerate prizes
I bet you’re so fun at parties lol
ok nazi
I’m a nazi bc I don’t think people should stick things in their ass?
you're a nazi because you used the word degenerate to describe a sex act that is strongly associated with gay men, yes
It’s an invalid unnatural practice lol.
That’s not what a Nazi is… seriously the word is losing its meaning and impact when people just use it as an insult towards those they disagree with. At one point, Nazi will have the same impact as idiot.
They called a gay sex act degenerate and implied OP deserved punishment for that degenerate act (in this case having to undergo a medical procedure they did not want to). There is a very clear connect here - Nazis viewed gay men as "degenerate" for their sexual behavior and punished them for it.
I'm far more concerned with applying Nazi too strictly, to the extent that we miss Nazi rhetoric around us, than applying it too loosely.
That doesn’t mean everyone who views gay sex as degenerate is a Nazi. Like how all Nazis are fascist, but not all fascists are Nazis. Being a Nazi also means supporting fascism, social darwinism and nationalism.
locomotivelimbs t1_irp52lt wrote
One in a million shot doc.