Another thing - when I acquired my disability, my ex emotionally disconnected from me and I had to break up because I felt so alone and neglected. You are NOT a loser, you are a great husband. Plenty (not all) of men leave or cheat or emotionally cut off when their partner faces health issues. You have stuck around and you're doing whatever you can to support her. I wish I had someone like you around when my sickness happened. Fortunately I've now found someone much more supportive and I'm in a loving relationship!