Another thing - when I acquired my disability, my ex emotionally disconnected from me and I had to break up because I felt so alone and neglected. You are NOT a loser, you are a great husband. Plenty (not all) of men leave or cheat or emotionally cut off when their partner faces health issues. You have stuck around and you're doing whatever you can to support her. I wish I had someone like you around when my sickness happened. Fortunately I've now found someone much more supportive and I'm in a loving relationship!

A lot of people have been giving advice for your wife to get disability and I 100% support that. I wanted to comment in case there is a particular reason why your wife cannot apply or cannot qualify though. I have a disability and remote working is really important for me but being a developer just isn't for me. I had to do some thinking on alternatives.

Here are some remote working ideas for her to consider.

• developer is an obvious one
• product manager (which I am)
• project manager
• head of people (HR)
• customer success manager
• recruiter
• QA specialist
• marketing specialist
• teaching English online
• copy writer
• editor
• UI designer

All she needs to do is mass apply, get a junior role and climb up the ranks. There are cheap online courses she can do whilst she applies and even if it doesn't pay well she can look into an apprenticeship for the experience which she can do when she's not helping in the store with you. If she is able, disability would help a lot whilst she applies for jobs and studies.

She will be able to do something remotely and contribute financially. I understand why she might not want to be on disability long term, working gives a great sense of self and independence which I understand from my own experience.

One thing I did which some might not support is I did not mention my disability during the interview stage. I mentioned it when I got the job. At that point they are obliged to provide reasonable adjustments. My job was advertised as part time remote, now I am able to work as much as I want remotely and just come in a couple times a month.

I got myself a junior role and now.. 4 years later I earn £55K a year which is pretty good going I'd say at 28!Your wife has got this! And it could be an idea for you too look into this too!

Things might look bleak now but it will get better. Keep pushing forward and hold one another's hand through it. ❤️