TIFU because I didn't dance with my crush at prom

Submitted by NewAgeRetroNerd t3_yvh433 in tifu

Ok so this happened in summer this year I am just getting around to posting this now.

So for prom this year I got stuff together to go with a bunch of my friends including my crush and her brother. We all went to dinner together and then went to the dance. The thing is I spent most of the dance just dancing by myself of goofing off with friends. During the end of the prom a few songs came on and both my crush and myself were vibing. So I decided I was gonna work up my courage to ask her to dance but every time I moved to ask her one of my friends asked her to dance. And so that happened for the last few songs and then we all went home. Tbh I was pretty crushed I missed my chance. I talked to my friend about it and he honestly doesn't like her and didn't do it on purpose and I know him well enough to know he's telling the truth. He just was trying to be nice since she seemed kinda lonely to him and he has way less social anxiety then I do so he was able to move faster instead of me who was trying to work up the courage.

The only nice thing is even though my crush moved away soon after we still talk pretty regularly and have gotten a bit closer as friends at least. I haven't told her I like her yet because the time doesn't feel right to try to start a relationship long distance but I want to sometime sooner rather than later. And anyways she deals with some stuff and her personal mental health is more important then bugging her about a relationship or liking her. Tbh at this point I'm scared to tell her I like her because even if she doesn't like me I'd want to still be friends and I'm worried it would ruin our friendship.

TL;DR : I didn't work up the courage fast enough to dance with my crush at prom.

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AcrobaticSource3 t1_iwevfe8 wrote

> my crush moved away

Here’s what would be cute. Next time you are video chatting, stand up your phone on a table/desk/whatever, take a few steps back, turn on a song, then start dancing. It really ham it up and be ridiculous. She will start laughing and asking you what you’re doing. Then you can say that you regretted not dancing with her at prom, so you’re making up for it now. There can be only 3 outcomes:

  1. she thinks it’s sweet and watches you be silly, which brightens her day

  2. she thinks it’s fun, then gets up and dances also, which brightens her and your day

  3. she realizes that she wish she could’ve danced with you at prom too, gets up and dances also, and then after the dance, the ice is broken and the two of you talk about how you felt at prom and....maybe how you feel about each other now

This can really work, OP

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WeReallyOutHere10 t1_iwf77nr wrote

As cheesy as it is… this is fucking genius

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[deleted] t1_iwft2gv wrote

sorry but no its not.

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Good_Smile t1_iwfxefu wrote

Why?

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[deleted] t1_iwfxtrl wrote

Perhaps some would think its cute....i would think someone has a stroke. Wouldnt be my cup of tea at least.

I really dont like those over the top "movie like" moves. Those belong into movies if you ask me. If you want to show your affection it makes more sense to do mindful, helpful stuff and not some strange dance move in front of your camera.

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JadeLogan123 t1_iwg2emz wrote

How is it “movie like”? To me, it’s showing me that they can laugh at themselves, have a sense of humour and shows they care about you in a non-pressuring way. Majority of women like men who make us laugh. It’s attractive.

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LooseEnvironment7911 t1_iwh0m42 wrote

I’m F23, and I like romantic gestures too. However, I won’t disagree that some gestures can be a bit cheesy. This idea is sweet don’t get me wrong, but it’s a bit corny. Some people really like cheesy though! While I think this could be a good idea if OP’s crush enjoys things like this, I would personally cringe. I think OP should ask their crush to be their date for the next dance and make up for the lack of dancing together there

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JadeLogan123 t1_iwhvg0a wrote

Not going to lie, I’d probably find it cheesy as well but you never know unless you try. At the very least it may loosen him up and get them both talking. I will always remember this one guy who came chatting me up on 20th birthday (31 next week so a while ago). He came with those really bad cheesy chat up lines (like “if I could change the alphabet I’d put I and U together”). He kept going with as many as he could remember, laughing through them (making me laugh as well), in a charming way that somehow worked. Cheesy as but it got me laughing, got us talking and made him memorable.

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[deleted] t1_iwg5ix4 wrote

We like women who make us laugh too! :) Thats very attractive indeed.

I just dont think every women would think thats funny, and im like 99% sure you cant speak for all women aswell.

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JadeLogan123 t1_iwhtuka wrote

It wouldn’t necessarily make me laugh either but some people would find it funny. Not trying to speak for all women but I feel majority would agree with me, that humour is important.

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deBluFlame t1_iwg4741 wrote

It would be brilliant, unfortunately OP is shy lmao

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glynch77 t1_iwgymsm wrote

This is exactly what I was going to say. At this point she knows of his social anxiety. If she saw him do this she would know she is so special to him he is willing to be uncomfortable. Plus being goofy always works more then the macho arrogant approach.

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SweetCosmicPope t1_iweehvc wrote

Could be worse. I worked up the courage to ask out my crush to homecoming, and then another dude asked her to go steady like three days before and we wound up “sharing” her for the dance.

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diabolikul1 t1_iwebw90 wrote

i sympathize, should ask your crush as a date next time a dance comes around. if she says yes that means it’s be inappropriate to dance with others nevermind your friends

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Skydiver818 t1_iwftehf wrote

Sometimes you should just stop thinking and ask.... What's the worse that could happen? She'd say "no I don't wanna dance with you"... Or maybe she'd say something so rude that you'd become sad for days...( I don't think she'd be so rude to you, there's no valid reason)... And you'd feel sad, and broken, and maybe lose a 'friend'... What else? And on the other hand you could learn how to break your own boundaries and how to overcome social anxiety. And maybe you could learn how to deal with rejection!! I'm not a very social guy but trust me, I tried this and still try things like these. I was anxious and neurotic as hell some years ago. Even today, I'd tremble inside in some situations. But pushing yourself sometimes... It helps, really!!

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reevelainen t1_iwgnppb wrote

She's your crush, then you were crushed because you didn't get the dance. But now, you just have to get your shit together and show your feelings to her. I'm sure you 'll crush it, and everything goes well! (English is wierd. I'm a finnish person myself.)

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Striking_Bill_4501 t1_iwwts72 wrote

Aren't Finnish people extraordinarily proficient in reusing words that mean the same? 😁

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reevelainen t1_iwy9g0n wrote

Ah, maybe! I haven't heard that claim before. I quess! Do you mean like when a sentence like Cooking is so much nicer when one have a pan. would go in finnish like this: Kokkaaminen on niin paljon mukavampaa kun on pannu_ ,but since 'pannu' is also an imperfect of 'shagging' or 'f*cking', it can be translated into enjoying cooking after having sex.

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LooseEnvironment7911 t1_iwgxwo4 wrote

You got this!! It’s totally normal to feel nervous or scared to admit to your crush that you like them! It’s even scarier when you’re unsure of how the other person feels. I would say that it’s better to die regretting than not knowing, so go for it! You never know, she may be feeling the same exact way but is nervous to tell you too :)

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N3r941 t1_iwiaykv wrote

Live and learn. Take it from your homie as a life lesson. You snooze you lose my boy. You'll probably never forget that missed chance so use it as a reminder next time you have anxiety getting in the way of something you really wanna do and let it empower you to do that thing. Mistakes are ok, it means you're living your life. One day you won't have much free time and what little time you have to yourself you gotta learn to do you and get yours despite what the rest of the world around you wants. Sucks your crush moved but that's cool y'all are still close. Best of luck.

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ScarletCaptain t1_iwjjj2p wrote

Not prom, but I had a good female friend I had a very strong thing for who was going through some tough times and we casually discussed the “dating scene.” She ended up basically admitting her interest in me and in shock I walked away.

This was very nearly an r/tifu but some very quick emails and IM’s (pre Facebook days) and I explained how I felt.

16 years later she’s lying sick upstairs from something the kids brought home from school.

r/lifeprotip: if your kid(s) tells you several friends have been missing lately, prepare to take some days off…

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NewAgeRetroNerd OP t1_iwjlmhq wrote

That's awesome! Thanks for sharing. Tbh my mind tends to worry a lot. Even though we talk a lot I always worry she doesn't like me or is avoiding me when she just doesn't always respond right away. I mean she has already told me she doesn't find me annoying and enjoys chatting and even says things that sometimes continues a conversation but that doesn't always stop my worrying. Even though now probably isn't the best time to say something and try to start a relationship it helps to hear people's stories so thank you.

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