Even if i did lose my cool, i dont feel i should apologize for it as stuck up as that sounds. I tried to start off calm and she immediately responded to it by yelling which caused me to lash out in turn.

Just because its her word doesnt mean i should or have to follow it. Yes, i know, shes a parent with more experience with me within this field but i dont see the problem with it since 1. Its helping me figure myself out and 2. Im not doing it with a person and a healthy way to let out these feelings.

Even though i do see what youre saying, i dont see any harm of having one nor is there any harm in it as far as i understand. She doesnt see any of the situation reasonably nor will she try to. She goes off of assumptions shes made in her head and only sticks with them whether theyre true or not.

You can explain this to me in more detail if it seems like im not getting it. All im seeing here is that she lashed out at me first because of her irrationability of the situation as a whole even when i tried to explain it to her which caused me to lash out as well. If that makes sense