This disgusts me. Dont put that thought in my mind please.

I only started yelling and getting upset when she immediately started yelling at me when i calmly asked what the problem with it was. Shes unreasonable and controlling. Starting over wont do any good

no, she only seen the vibrator sitting in my drawer and thats it

She usually calls to tattle when things dont go her way so im not surprised. Plus i also said some concerning things involving my mental state. From her reactiom at the time, she didnt care at all and just called my granny to make sure i wasnt free from her control one way or another

Even if i did lose my cool, i dont feel i should apologize for it as stuck up as that sounds. I tried to start off calm and she immediately responded to it by yelling which caused me to lash out in turn.

Just because its her word doesnt mean i should or have to follow it. Yes, i know, shes a parent with more experience with me within this field but i dont see the problem with it since 1. Its helping me figure myself out and 2. Im not doing it with a person and a healthy way to let out these feelings.

Even though i do see what youre saying, i dont see any harm of having one nor is there any harm in it as far as i understand. She doesnt see any of the situation reasonably nor will she try to. She goes off of assumptions shes made in her head and only sticks with them whether theyre true or not.

You can explain this to me in more detail if it seems like im not getting it. All im seeing here is that she lashed out at me first because of her irrationability of the situation as a whole even when i tried to explain it to her which caused me to lash out as well. If that makes sense

I promise, ive tried to communicate with her a bunch of times. She only hears what she wants to hear, takes it out of preportion, and gets even more unreasonable. My word about it is seen as "talking back" even though thats not the case at all.

With the emancipation and adoption thing, my entire family is very strong on "even if she did wrong you, shes still your mom so you have to respect that" and "adoption is not a choice when you have a mother thats trying."

Ive tried everything i can in this household, my mother isnt strict shes just extremely unreasonable even in a calm enviroment.

Nope, she had no clue. This was the first time shes ever seen it

Not really. Hers is more like a tantrum just 100x more destruction. She holds her power over me as a "parent" when i dont do what she wants me to. Tries to guilt trip me into having a mother daughter relationship with her after berating me, and more.

Ive just chalked it up to her being a narcissist with both a savior and victim complex since nothing else fits the descriptions of her freakouts

She admitted that my granny was the only one reasonable in this situation. I dont think she realized she said she was unreasonable indirectly.

I wouldnt say that. Behavior of hers has been present ever since i was 10, about a year before i got my period. Shes told me multiple times that she lives through me which isnt ideal because i dont live up to her expectations she wants me to live exactly like her and if i dont she throws a fit.

Ive tried to communicate with her on other matters before and she either mocks me, brings it up to humiliate me, or both. Afterwards she tries to "connect" with me saying that i dont have a good mother daughter relationship and even though she did upset me we're "family"

I dunno, this is really important to me ad a whole because i feel part of my self discovery was taken away from me. My granny reached out and told me it was gonna be a talk with just me and her about this so i know shes not mad and going to at least help me in this

Haha, thanks. I know my grandparents are more reasonable though so itll probably go better than with my mom

Yeah ive already decided to cut her off and move out as soon as i can. My only trouble at the moment is finding a job since everything over here doesnt hire around my age at least for another year

Though i think differently on whether its a big deal or not. There are a lot of things outside of this that caused me to hate my family, especially my mom. The only people i feel safe enough to even go to or be near are 2 cousins.

Even though i wouldnt like to talk about this again, my mom'll definitely will to either use against me or try to humiliate me with.

Trust me, ive tried imagination and my hand before, it doesnt really work as much for me since i still dont know a lot. But ill work on it

Its not like i have a choice in the matter. My mom already called her and told her the entire situation plus more of what was said and done and im gonna stay at her house for the rest of the week as well as have a one on one talk with her about it. Probably more.

Not gonna lie, ive played both of those first two. With 1, i get way too worked up even a first few words in since she starts yelling and berating me so it doesnt work for long. With 2, i said it and the first time she ignored me and second she just repeated that im too young for these things.

Calling bluffs doesnt work on my mom, unfortunately. She only blows up more and with the way she acts when reason is provided and her problems have clear and understandable solutions im pretty sure shes a narcissist. Both savior and victim complex. Thankfully my hranny is a lot more reasonable so she should understand.

We do, ive already asked her to stop wearing my clothes but she goes ahead to wear them anyways. Ive stopped trying to talk to her about boundaries since "kids dont have any" from her perspective. Hiding things are the only way to have any privacy really.

That is not the full story and please dont assume things about me and my family. There were many things that led up to me hating her completely and this was the incident where i finally snapped at her instead of bottling up emotions. She just wasnt meant to be a mother and shouldve probably worked past her own trauma first.