Submitted by bigbaronboi t3_zvem1i in tifu
TIFU by accidentally giving my uncle anal lube for Christmas.
I am beyond horrified.
My girlfriend and I live together and have 2 cats. Despite our best efforts, both of our cats find insane ways to get underneath our bed. All gaps have been blocked off, but they always look for a way under. Next to our bed is a nightstand that has some “personal items” - one of those being lube.
Our apartment is very small, and after I wrapped and bagged some gifts for my family, I put them next to our bed. My gifts to most of my family were gift bags with candy and gift cards.
Flash forward to today: my whole family - aunt, uncle, grandma and cousins - are all opening presents. Myself and all of my cousins are adults. We are seated in a circle at my grandma’s house, everyone opening a gift one by one.
My uncle starts opening his gift from my girlfriend and I. He pulls out a gift card, says a thank you, looks inside the bag and sees some candy, thank you, then pulls out a small bottle and goes silent…
I slowly recognize the bottle and my worst nightmare is confirmed. It’s a small bottle of Adam & Eve FORBIDDEN ANAL LUBE.
I urgently run over and take the bottle and apologize repeatedly. One of my cousins is sitting next to my uncle and is dying of laughter. My uncle quietly chuckles and says “lucky I didn’t say anything”. No one else has noticed as they were all talking amongst themselves.
I go back down to sit with my girlfriend and she doesn’t understand what is going on. I point to my pocket which now has a defined cylinder outline and whisper what happened to her with my face red hot with blood from embarrassment. She is so shocked and taken aback and we are both freaking out.
I don’t know how that got into his gift bag, I can only assume that one of our cats jumped on our nightstand and knocked it off the edge into the bag. My girlfriend and I are absolutely mortified.
At this point my cousin has texted our group chat with all my cousins and we’ve been roasted and killed from embarrassment.
The ironic part is that my girlfriend and I do not even do anal but there is no going back on this and trying to explain that to family. I am horrified that the bottle just HAD to say “FORBIDDEN ANAL LUBE” in all caps and bolded letters.
We can never step foot in grandma’s house again.
TL;DR - My cat knocked a bottle of lube into my uncle’s Christmas gift and he got an awkward surprise gift from his nephew.
TileTone t1_j1orclh wrote
Should've kept it in there.