Submitted by bigbaronboi t3_zvem1i in tifu

TIFU by accidentally giving my uncle anal lube for Christmas.

I am beyond horrified.

My girlfriend and I live together and have 2 cats. Despite our best efforts, both of our cats find insane ways to get underneath our bed. All gaps have been blocked off, but they always look for a way under. Next to our bed is a nightstand that has some “personal items” - one of those being lube.

Our apartment is very small, and after I wrapped and bagged some gifts for my family, I put them next to our bed. My gifts to most of my family were gift bags with candy and gift cards.

Flash forward to today: my whole family - aunt, uncle, grandma and cousins - are all opening presents. Myself and all of my cousins are adults. We are seated in a circle at my grandma’s house, everyone opening a gift one by one.

My uncle starts opening his gift from my girlfriend and I. He pulls out a gift card, says a thank you, looks inside the bag and sees some candy, thank you, then pulls out a small bottle and goes silent…

I slowly recognize the bottle and my worst nightmare is confirmed. It’s a small bottle of Adam & Eve FORBIDDEN ANAL LUBE.

I urgently run over and take the bottle and apologize repeatedly. One of my cousins is sitting next to my uncle and is dying of laughter. My uncle quietly chuckles and says “lucky I didn’t say anything”. No one else has noticed as they were all talking amongst themselves.

I go back down to sit with my girlfriend and she doesn’t understand what is going on. I point to my pocket which now has a defined cylinder outline and whisper what happened to her with my face red hot with blood from embarrassment. She is so shocked and taken aback and we are both freaking out.

I don’t know how that got into his gift bag, I can only assume that one of our cats jumped on our nightstand and knocked it off the edge into the bag. My girlfriend and I are absolutely mortified.

At this point my cousin has texted our group chat with all my cousins and we’ve been roasted and killed from embarrassment.

The ironic part is that my girlfriend and I do not even do anal but there is no going back on this and trying to explain that to family. I am horrified that the bottle just HAD to say “FORBIDDEN ANAL LUBE” in all caps and bolded letters.

We can never step foot in grandma’s house again.

TL;DR - My cat knocked a bottle of lube into my uncle’s Christmas gift and he got an awkward surprise gift from his nephew.

245

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

TileTone t1_j1orclh wrote

Should've kept it in there.

8

AcrobaticSource3 t1_j1otmh9 wrote

First time I read the titles, I thought your uncle’s name was Anal. Like you gave your Uncle Anal some lube, and I thought, “Hey that is very appropriate!”

29

a22e t1_j1otmjx wrote

> The ironic part is that my girlfriend and I do not even do anal but there is no going back on this and trying to explain that to family.

Well, no excuses now.

114

Critical-Echo-923 t1_j1pkdom wrote

brush it off ur adults

but do shame ur cousin and others for sharing this and discussing ur sex life

edit: i usually go with a: what's next, u wanna plan to come and watch ?!

10

danderskoff t1_j1q16ix wrote

Something similar happened to me. I used to live in an apartment with a friend. As far as I know he never has had a relationship with someone or been intimate with anyone. I was waiting on a package once from Amazon and one came in the mail. I assumed it was mine but when I opened it, there was just this huge bottle of lube.

I texted my friend and said "I put your package in your room from Amazon." To this day he still swears that he didnt prefer it from Amazon but we had a good laugh about it

3

RedCatte t1_j1q33xc wrote

I read these Xmas gift mistake stories all the time and can’t help but wonder how uptight some people’s families are.

Seriously, my family would just laugh.

You all need to ease up and be a bit less anal.

5

Omnes_Lege t1_j1qcdry wrote

So, what was your uncle's gift after all? Did he get one or what happened to it? Was it just the card and candy?

2

AndrewFishay t1_j1s0k9o wrote

You’ve done the time, may as well do the crime!

3