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Ezaviel t1_j22lj7l wrote

I still reckon you did nothing wrong here. That kid ran off because of the parents, not you. They are just trying to blame someone else for their own FU.

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Tacticalteam t1_j22uhdp wrote

This person is really right. You taught basic skills we as a people once knew. She could have looked this stuff up online, too.

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Superior91 t1_j22wqhz wrote

Not only that, but what's the next step here?

Don't teach kids how to drive cause they might buy a car and drive off.

Don't teach kids anything about finances. If they can't afford to move out, you'll always have them close.

Don't teach kids anything about cooking. If they can't cook for themselves they'll have to live at home.

Don't give them an education. If they don't know shit they won't know what they're missing.

OP, teaching people survival skills is definitely a good and compassionate act, don't stop it.

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iampuh t1_j23buy9 wrote

Texas would like a word with you. You are not supposed to teach critical thinking because kids should listen to their parents and not think critically. I'm not making this up.

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OpheliaRainGalaxy t1_j23dswi wrote

Little-me got in trouble for learning theories about how the moon came to exist other than "God made it in an instant with a thought!"

So grateful my parents couldn't afford private school! Yay for free public education!

I didn't get to learn basic facts about the world around me until school, because everything was god this and bible that. Didn't dare to learn about humanoid evolution until after my mom died, was terrified of saying the wrong thing and setting off another screaming tantrum about how monkeys in the zoo don't evolve into people.

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Neither_Werewolf6095 t1_j239oqv wrote

Pat yourself on the back instead of blaming yourself. I'm feeling good, please do your best in this condition. They give these kids valuable skills and build confidence.

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Sergeant_Steve t1_j23hwm0 wrote

>Don't give them an education. If they don't know shit they won't know what they're missing.

Isn't this still a thing in some states and certainly with some "religions"?

I.e. they don't teach kids about puberty, sex, menstruation etc because then they'll end up having sex outside of marriage and getting pregnant (which is actually the opposite but you can't convert these people to modern beliefs).

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Gottacatch_7777 t1_j23dxs2 wrote

Yea shit parents always do that and there is too many out there - in their defense we all have been raised in this capitalistic vomit we call life they dont even know how FU they are or what they do. However, its really not your fault what stupidity gosh? She could have run away not knowing shit and die on first night or whatever. Awesome how she used your skills that you have thought, thats all matters here prof.

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FatalOrgasm93 t1_j22ov54 wrote

No fuck up mate

You gave her an out of what's probably a shitty situation and now it cannot be ignored by authorities

You're a great dude, even more so for how bad you felt and how much MORE effort it appears you put in than the parents to help this girl

Keep being awesome

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Alwaysaprairiegirl t1_j22robt wrote

Please don’t think that this was a FU. You taught her valuable skills and empowered her to get out of a situation where she was very likely unsafe. And now the authorities are involved whereas they wouldn’t have been before.

The mother is trying to blame you because it’s actually their fault, not yours. Just think if you hadn’t taught her those skills. If she had still escaped, she would have been even more unprepared or maybe stayed in a more urban setting which can be also very dangerous.

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Usernameisnotvalid0 t1_j22vi1j wrote

No one could have said this any better!!!!! If she felt like running “specially from her parents” there’s something that has to be checked here.

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BitBit13 t1_j22ml2e wrote

You went and ensured their safety, why are you getting even a portion of the blame? Nothing wrong here as far as I can see.

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Lined_the_Street t1_j23dvop wrote

Right? This lady clearly has issue, it makes sense why the daughter ran away if her mother is always blaming everyone else but herself

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Akitiki t1_j22w55y wrote

Her mother can take her comments elsewhere. The fact that she laid into you for "encouraging" her to get out and not thanks for at least finding her should tell you enough.

You gave her the tools to get out. The woods felt safer than at home. I repeat, the woods felt safer than at home. And again, her mother's reaction is a very clear red flag of abuse. Her kid (her victim) got away because you (inadvertently) gave her the knowledge.

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Inevitable-tragedy t1_j22xvc9 wrote

This should be top comment. Abusers always out themselves, even if it's only something small, like blaming someone else for your kid running from home.

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Lined_the_Street t1_j23dy2n wrote

Take my upvote so hopefully for can see your perfectly stated comment

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akai_tsubaki t1_j22uunj wrote

Tell her moronic mother that she would ran anyway. But she would end up dead without training. Obviously no fuck up on your side

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mazlux t1_j22wx88 wrote

You did the right thing.

Your teachings and inevitable rescue will stay with this girl forever.

Her parents are clearly not great people. Kids don't run away to camp in the woods for no reason.

Never for a second feel bad about this situation.

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Snoo-43335 t1_j22wzay wrote

You didn't FU you probably saved this woman's life or at least helped her get on the right path.

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Aussiealterego t1_j230cjh wrote

As an ex-RN, and past Mum of troubled teens, you have done nothing wrong.

If anything, you should be proud of yourself for teaching skills that lead to resilience and survival.

If you had not given this teen the confidence to survive in the wild, they may have ended up on the streets, which has a much higher chance of an unhappy ending.
You should be giving yourself a pat on the back, not castigating yourself. You are doing a good thing, continue to do it. You are giving these kids a valuable skillset, and building their self-confidence.

The mother is panicking and looking for a scapegoat, because it can't possibly be her parenting that is to blame here. The fact that her daughter ran away instead of talking to her speaks volumes. You are part of the solution, not the problem.

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a-_rose t1_j235ehl wrote

You did not fu. You saved her from whatever the reason she was self harming. She got away. She’s safe now because of you.

CPS are going to take her seriously and assess her living conditions. You taught her valuable life skills she’ll never forget. You kept her alive. Chances are she was going to run away or try self harming again before she even met you. There are many people to blame but you are not one of them.

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TerratheOnly t1_j23eahk wrote

The update is gone did anyone get a copy? My gf and I really got excited to read the update

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Ezaviel t1_j23gpj7 wrote

Roughly, OP got together a couple of trained folks and went out looking where they thought the kid might be camping. Managed to find them, convince them they were there to help, and get them back out safely (kid had sustained some injuries). Kid is with aunt, CPS are contacted, parents are mad about it.

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cballowe t1_j2392bf wrote

Sounds like you're doing a great job. Now you need to teach safely climbing, staying in, and descending from trees!

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Ranik_Sandaris t1_j23bai4 wrote

You didnt FU. If anything you gave her skills that stopped her from being killed.

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sunnysparklesmile t1_j23cqj8 wrote

I wish I had had someone like you. You didn't FU at all.

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here4mischief t1_j2315qc wrote

Thanks for the update, for going out to look and for taking a great team with you for the best success in bringing her back as safe as possible. She came back because she knew and trusted you. Thank you for being a quality human

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SKATTESTYRELSEN_DK t1_j231aeo wrote

You didn't fuck up here mate, if anyone is to blame, it's the parents.... They just don't like accepting the blame!

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aqlu t1_j232qp6 wrote

Glad to hear it. Hope you gave her an evaluation of her performance, seeing as she was relying on stuff you taught her.

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physicalphysics314 t1_j2337ej wrote

Bro you’re a hero. You saved her. Even if you consider it a fuck up, you fucking owned it, did the right thing and made sure she got the help she needed

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NoamWeinberg t1_j23b74x wrote

Sounds like something Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia will do

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Global_Monk_5778 t1_j23d6se wrote

This wasn’t a FU. She’d have run off one way or the other. You found her, you saved her. If she’d run off to a city she could have been abducted, raped, killed. You have now got help for her and authorities are aware of the home situation. Of course her parents are looking to blame you because they don’t want to blame the real culprits - themselves. You did good.

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Lined_the_Street t1_j23dpra wrote

Thanks for the update! I'm so happy to have this be the first thing I read this morning. And honestly, her mom sounds like a piece of work (to put it nicely)

If she's laying into you for "encouraging her to run away" you should lay into the mom about being a decent parent who doesn't raise kids who WANT to run away. Her reaction towards you shows a glimpse of how she probably treats her daughter. Like you said, you just can win with some people.

Still, you've done the right thing between teaching these kids amazing skills, to going out and finding her, and finally convincing her to come back to civilization. You sound like an amazing mentor and hopefully you don't let me lady with her own major issues drag you down with her negativity

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