Submitted by Proper_Associate_791 t3_zxjzee in tifu

Throwaway for very obvious reasons. I work very early mornings at a department store and usually get off an hour or two after the store has been open to the public. My husband picks me up from work before heading to his own job in the afternoon.

After I’d clocked out and was on my way out of the store this morning, I noticed a man browsing through one of the racks in the men’s department who looked exactly like my husband from behind. Same height, same bald-head, same build. I made my way behind him and hugged him from the back while grabbing his chest simultaneously. He must’ve mistook me as someone else as well because he started to ask me what I thought about something he was holding and I instantly realized my mistake just by the sound of his voice.

I quickly pulled away from him, apologized profusely, and he turned and laughed and said it was fine. I was mortified. As I quickly made my way toward the door in shame, I looked back and saw a woman with a stroller approaching the man I had just fondled and she did not look amused.

I feel awful, but my husband got a kick out of it when I told him what happened once I got in the car. I’m a little over it now but I can’t help but worry about them filing a complaint of sexual assault 😭.

TLDR: I was leaving work and thought I saw my husband shopping. So trying to be cute, I hugged him from behind and groped his chest but it turned out to be an unsuspecting customer who’s gf/wife and child stood some distance away from us watching. I am now afraid that I just victimized this man in front of his family.

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Comments

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mike_pants t1_j20sfmy wrote

Your TLDR is 30% of the length of the original story.

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woif0 t1_j217v22 wrote

kinda funny, but I think the TLDR is on point

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FuckingUsernamesWhy t1_j23obox wrote

“No honey, I swear I’ve never seen that woman in my life” Bro is cooked

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SalmonNgiri t1_j20wep6 wrote

My first thought was “thank god you’re a woman hugging a dude” and then I felt like a sexist PoS…

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IGetHighAndAdoptDogs t1_j2aoc24 wrote

Nah, that doesn’t make you a sexist. Here’s why…

 

There is virtually NO situation where a female stranger would try to pick up a male stranger this way. 99% of the time, this would be a pure accident. The same cannot be said if the roles were reversed…

 

Sad fact of life.

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MotoHULK t1_j21oa23 wrote

Don't worry about charges, you're a woman. A man doing the same thing would already be in custody.

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reevelainen t1_j23ncvm wrote

I think a man would have quite different initial thought about the 'attacker' though, as an adult man would propably not be worried about getting r*ped. You're right but it's not THAT double-standard IMO.

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MotoHULK t1_j23yu64 wrote

Men get sexually assaulted a lot more than you might think. I know of a 6ft10 guy who got raped.

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reevelainen t1_j2421al wrote

Yes, but if he felt that it was she hugging him, I don't think he got scared. Men are raped, yes, and if you count prisons too, the numbers are close to other genders, but his initial reaction propably wasn't Help I'm getting r*ped compared to if a man would suddenly hug a woman from behind.

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Dangerous-Highway-61 t1_j22tymh wrote

Once I was standing next to my then-fiancé, who then walked away just out of my field of vision. Another man walked up, and without thinking I grabbed his butt-cheek…

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