You have a lot of growing up to do before you're ready for any relationship.

Been in the same boat before, you need to make changes to yourself before you try going back to her. And when you think you’re doing better, keep trying even if you feel like you’ve plateaued because if you stop improving yourself you’ll ruin everything again. Fix yourself then regroup.

It sounds like even if she gives you a chance to prove you can be different, you won’t be able to. You’ve clearly disrespected her boundaries on numerous occasions. You need to do some major self reflection and work on yourself before you’re ready to be in any relationship.

I didn't realize how much I hurt her with my actions. I always thought it would be fine as she was angry with me but after she settled she always said that she is happy that I am here. I am turning 27 this year and I didn't realize that I am still selfish at times that I shouldn't be which I truly regret because she deserves better.

Grow up...

You keep saying “surprise” where what she is experiencing is boundaries being stomped.

Take this as a learning experience. When someone sets a boundary (don’t randomly show up at my house) and you choose not to follow it, it’s a huge issue. She had every right to be upset. The fact that you did it numerous times after the fact makes it even worse.

It’s completely normal to have jealous thoughts, especially when you’re inexperienced and insecure. However it’s about the actions that you do as result of them that truly matter and show the lack of maturity. When you’re feeling jealous, communicate it in a healthy way and ask for support to move past those feelings without doing dumb things because of them. Own up to your mistakes and do better the next time.

This one may be lost but take notes and make the change for the next relationship that comes.

What a stupid “relationship”.

She told you not to do it.

She explained why you shouldn't do it.

She got upset every time you did it.

How do these three things add up to

>I always thought it would be fine

??!??

It sounds like you know you have some progress to make, which is honestly a huge step. Speaking from my own experience, you might benefit from taking a while (a year or even more) away from dating, and instead focusing on your thinking patterns, which ones are unhealthy, and how you can retrain your brain to have healthier ones. For instance, if some things are quick to trigger jealousy in you, work on immediately identifying that and processing that feeling quickly, channeling it into something more actionable. In time, your initial response to those triggers won’t be as strong. This is a big part of how I approach personal growth, and after a relationship that kind of crashed and burned, I spent 3 years heavily focusing on this, and my relationships since have been so much more stable.

I wish you the best!

You “caught her banging”???? So you went back to her place AGAIN after she told you to get lost for violating her boundaries???? At this point you have NO say in what she was doing even if she was banging someone on the hood of her car in the parking lot. You have some major soul searching and growing up to do.