Bm7465 t1_j5n2q60 wrote
Honestly? It just sounds like you guys created a messy situation for yourselves. You continued into a non monogamous relationship being the only one “fully” invested in going down that route and he intentionally deceived you as revenge.
You have a child on the way. Now isn’t the time to play “who got more Reddit downvotes”.
Move on and build a relationship on grounds that actually work for both of you or separate and commit to being the best parents you can be. Either way you’re about to have a responsibility to another human life.
gonzoes t1_j5rkklk wrote
Yeah its not even that bad they both agreed they wanted to see each other. Yeah the husband did it a shitty way but hell man people make mistakes. Dude just really sounds like he loves her and is absolutely sick of seeing her have a relationship with another person and doesn’t know how to communicate that and did something really stupid but i mean it did show OP what it felt like so in a way it worked
lolgobbz t1_j5sajcb wrote
I do not think people who communicate this poorly are going to have a healthy relationship- especially for the child.
gonzoes t1_j5sitlx wrote
People learn from mistakes and can change to be better people maybe they will read a lot of these comments and introspectively look at their relationship
HopOnTheHype t1_j5vjlq7 wrote
This is the type of shit that justifies abuse and rape culture, you’re part of the problem, She did nothing wrong and he was dangerously psychopathic
gonzoes t1_j5x37eg wrote
She was fucking someone else . He fucked someone else… they both realized they dont like seeing each other fucking other people case closed chill out
HopOnTheHype t1_j5xmuca wrote
Did you not even read the story or?
The concept she is upset about is that he paraded her in front of her, while she was discreet about it (while still being open) to help avoid him from being jealous/insecure. Even without the concept that he did an abuser manipulation on her, he's already being gross about it.
She didn't have a problem with him fucking someone, she had a problem with it happening in front of her, and she lived by the same standards.
gonzoes t1_j61h3zl wrote
Yeah i read it but that is utterly ridiculous to call him an abuser manipulator for walking the girl our in front of his significant other. Its not like he made her watch them have sex in the same room. You’re acting like he physically forced her to watch them which is not the case he made a bad judgment to help her realize how he felt
Even though She didn’t do it where he could see it’s obvious to tell that even her going to leave the house affected him just as badly as it affected her thank you locked her out of the house
HopOnTheHype t1_j61m9mz wrote
He literally hired an escort to parade her in front of her ex to make her jealous so that she would comply to his demands, and broke their good faith polyamory by doing it openly while the girlfriend was keeping it discreet for his sake. He got insecure and manipulated her by hiring an escort to make her feel bad. Homie you defending this sus shit is just you going mask off, Just say you relate with the abuser and would do something psychopathic like that. Even his own version of the story Made him look like an abuser, can’t even imagine what else he puts her through. This isn’t an uwu little thing, this is full psychological abuse.
gonzoes t1_j61u3cl wrote
Not going to even argue with you. Youre so far wrapped up in the abuse thing, like its all black and white and like you have all of their relationship story laid out infront of you
HopOnTheHype t1_j65evkj wrote
I don’t know what to tell you if even his version of events made it clear he was manipulating her in the relationship. You’re being very smelly and defending abuse, and it’s pretty in your face abuse. You don’t have an argument, sorry you’re just on the wrong side of morality here?
gonzoes t1_j65y7vl wrote
No you’re just a person who cant see other than black and white. It was only manipulation if he didn’t admit he was wrong which he did. Your definition of abuse is obscured very heavily by hive mind all knowing reddit. And you have no argument except screaming bloody murder. Look how many upvotes i got… youre downvoted it should clearly tell you something. Maybe you were a victim of real abuse so you have ptsd or something which would be valid
[deleted] t1_j667swb wrote
[removed]
arggggjai t1_j5rhwn8 wrote
Messy situation or extra time on reddit? I'll choose more time on reddit. In the factual sense they are both impulsive. No sense in getting caught up on some "Every Day" shit. But very sound analytics.
jmmixed t1_j5rvdga wrote
Do the child a favor and split up now and focus on the child's future. The days of this being about you are over, and this should be a really good thing for you both.
HopOnTheHype t1_j5vjsas wrote
They should break up with him though, stop trying to tell an abuse victim to stay with their abuser
dinozero t1_j5vu72r wrote
What did he do that was so abusive other then get laid so she could see it? She’s the one that decided she wanted him so badly she didn’t want anyone else to have him.
HopOnTheHype t1_j5w2chl wrote
He psychologically manipulated her and ruined the polyamory, she was keeping the girl out of the house and doing all that, he hired someone to do the walk of shame timed to her being there. He broke the boundaries and good nature of the polyamory, and also did a genuinely narcissistic abuser tactic.
jmmixed t1_j5w137k wrote
Why are you bombing every response? Your comment doesn't relate to mine.
HopOnTheHype t1_j5w2lbn wrote
You talked as if she should put up with it and just stay in the relationship, I said that’s a bad idea, he’s an abuser. She can either get an abortion or have the kid in a two family scenario where they outright will probably end up with 4 parents
jmmixed t1_j5w2rqi wrote
You must have been replying to someone else.
HopOnTheHype t1_j5vjd23 wrote
He said it was fine, she said he could be with others, he could have left at any time, she was open about it
HopOnTheHype t1_j5vjggj wrote
Also no, don’t continue the relationship you psychopath, she should hard leave that danger
starkmatic t1_j5rtq6c wrote
NYC is such trash. This kinda stuff always happens there with some of the dumbest people
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