niamhweking t1_iqvdrbg wrote on October 3, 2022 at 11:39 AM

Reply to comment by Geofferz in TIL Queen Sophie of the Netherlands’ marriage with King William was so turbulent that when she died, she was buried in her wedding dress because she viewed her life ended on the day she got married. by AsianInvasian93

Nice to hear a mature/healthy divorce story. I currently know of a few breakups happening now, and only one seems to be we grew apart, we tried counselling and we've jointly agreed to split, all the others involve fights, cheating, etc.

Geofferz t1_iqvi4ht wrote on October 3, 2022 at 12:22 PM

Yeah, it's not a failure, I deem any happy time together a success. Like a few years at a job - good times, move on. Yolo, as in, actually. Go enjoy! Best of luck.

NoNeedForAName t1_iqwpu36 wrote on October 3, 2022 at 5:32 PM

Same here. I used to practice law, and crazy ass divorce clients were a big part of the reason I was miserable enough to quit. My ex wife and I didn't exactly get along great around the time of our divorce, but there was never any of that childish fighting, using the kid as a pawn, or any of that other bullshit. It was a pretty amicable split, and we're actually good friends now.

niamhweking t1_iqwqjfq wrote on October 3, 2022 at 5:37 PM

I'd love to think if I were splitting up I'd like to think we'd be good friends, maybe not immediately but I'd hope I'd be mature enough. I think holding spite and anger, while I understand it, just eats away and takes way more effort and energy

NoNeedForAName t1_iqwrl2i wrote on October 3, 2022 at 5:43 PM

For us it took probably a couple of years to get to the point where I would call us friends, but up to then we were at least able to get along. I think the fact that we're both 100% devoted to our daughter helped a lot.

And I feel exactly like you in regards to holding on to spite and anger. I saw so many people in divorce cases who would do virtually anything to hurt the other party, even if they caused themselves even more problems in the process. I never understood why anyone would just choose to be an asshole like that.

Geofferz t1_iqxop1z wrote on October 3, 2022 at 9:14 PM

Yeah I'm mates with my ex, no kids so it's genuine. People often think kids is the onyk reason they're still friends with their exes which may often be true, but you can't know for sure if you have em. Just be glad day.