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PasghettiSquash OP t1_j27lz6f wrote

Wish there wasn’t a character limit on the title. He also:

  • had two brothers die from Cystic Fibrosis
  • was made fun of for being a ‘bean pole’, which led to adding muscle and the shot put state championship
  • was cut from his first college team for beating up an Air Force cadet that had hit on his girlfriend, breaking nearly every bone in his face, requiring 8 weeks in the hospital
  • starred in North Dallas Forty while playing for the Raiders
  • posed nude in Playgirl
  • Had his wife try to run him over with a car
  • Had his head coach save his life with CPR after taking a sleeping pill and chasing with beers

Guy somehow lived 5 lives in 38 years

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InVodkaVeritas t1_j27q7pz wrote

So he's the definition of "Live Fast, Die Young."

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marcuschookt t1_j28e53p wrote

Man if that's living fast and dying young, just give me the opposite. That's the kinda shit you want to read about somebody else but not live through yourself.

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Bojax22 t1_j28o4kb wrote

I dont know most of it seems cool minus the dying

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convlux51 t1_j28sn8p wrote

Just start taking steroids and you too can have huge muscle growth, anger issues, and cardiac problems.

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Bon03 t1_j28sp97 wrote

Putting a kid into the hospital for 8 weeks. Super cool.

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cinnapear t1_j28suia wrote

And the CPR. And the attempted vehicular manslaughter.

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poi_dog78 t1_j294k99 wrote

Watch any video footage of him near the end. It’s pretty brutal

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Alwayssunnyinarizona t1_j28zatd wrote

With 2 brothers dying of cystic fibrosis, it's very likely he was affected (or a carrier) as well. I had friends growing up - dad died of CF at 40, first friend at 28, second at 35, a couple years after a lung transplant.

They all new it was coming.

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PlethoPappus t1_j2993i4 wrote

Being a carrier of CF doesn't make you more likely to have an enlarged heart or OD on Darvocet. Source: I'm a CF carrier and both my sisters kids have CF

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rbhindepmo t1_j29f0v1 wrote

It’s possible he could have taken the Mickey Mantle approach to life of thinking he was gonna die young of something.

Mickey Mantle’s father and various male relatives died young from Hodgkin’s, and Mickey thought that’d happen to him too. Those family members worked in lead/zinc mining which could have a tie to Hodgkin’s and Mickey made it to 63 before dying from liver cancer after a lifetime of drinking a lot.

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Pluto_Rising t1_j29m92g wrote

Fwiw, Mickey's dad, Mutt, worked in the Picher, Ok. lead mines, which produced something like 40% of all the lead the U.S. used in WWII....the entire town has since been evacuated and is a superfund site. Was on 60 Minutes.

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leoleosuper t1_j27yb4u wrote

You gotta put a double space at the end of a line or double line break after every line for that to format properly.

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TheCuddlyVampire t1_j2bc7d9 wrote

He was the Antonio Brown of his day. Partied continuously, was on steroids, qualudes, and Crown Royal for most of his life. Did two stints in rehab.

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CPT_Shiner t1_j2934e7 wrote

I wonder if he was XYY? Sounds hyper-aggressive without fear of consequences. Most of those guys end up in prison or dead at a young age.

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reddito-mussolini t1_j29mdba wrote

I imagine they’re using the term “hit on” pretty liberally there…

−1

renasissanceman6 t1_j28dwfh wrote

Okay. Some of things are just things that happen to people in life. Calm down. You don’t have to post his entire wiki.

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shr2016 t1_j27z05l wrote

Maybe he's best known as Sloth to you young whipper-snappers...

Seriously though the Raiders of those years were fucking insane and he was the poster boy.

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voodooscuba t1_j28ymmv wrote

Let alone the fact that a lot of people that were familiar with John and his athletic career didn't actually know that was him inside that Sloth mask.

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DaisyDuckens t1_j2a0a1d wrote

I grew up in the Oakland area in the 1970s. Like some of the players attended the same church I attended (players didn’t make the big big money back then either. My dad went to real estate school with an ex-Raider as well). The Tooz was really kind and gentle towards me when I met him. He was enormous, but I wasn’t afraid of him because he was very sweet towards me. I only met him the one time.

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WhyNeaux t1_j299v8z wrote

Lyle Alzado was right on par for his aggressive style on the field. Those two were roid-rage induced beasts on the line.

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fourfourzero t1_j29bsmp wrote

Nothing better than 70's NFL. I can't believe there hasn't been a movie or at least a docu series about the lifestyles etc. It wasn't even a bad look till Lawrence Taylor took it to the N'th degree.

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gwaydms t1_j2a0ry7 wrote

After he retired Alzado admitted using steroids and said they caused his cancer. Idk if they actually did or not but he was one of the first NFL players I remember who admitted using them.

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PoopIsAlwaysSunny t1_j297d00 wrote

I like when people say shit like that while being self aware enough to realize people over 40 grew up on the goonies

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coyote-1 t1_j2a85v6 wrote

I never heard of the goonies

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PoopIsAlwaysSunny t1_j2akd9k wrote

I don’t love it, but suspect it’s largely about nostalgia for many, but I also recognize it as a cultural landmark for many of a certain age

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hatersaurusrex t1_j2bekpy wrote

So many players on that team were basically prison football movie caricatures - Ted Hendricks, Lester Hayes, Lyle Alzado, and of course Kenny "The Snake" Stabler leading the charge while ripping a Winston on the sidelines and tossing around his glorious mullet before heading back out to punch the Steelers in their collective dick.

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TallEnoughJones t1_j2aeu0t wrote

Thank you. Saying John Matuszak is best known for The Goonies is like saying OJ Simpson is best known for the Naked Gun movies.

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funkless1 t1_j2afk2y wrote

OJ was funnier than expected in Naked Gun. Might even say he killed at that role.

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DavoTB t1_j2a70pz wrote

The title actually inverts the matters for which John Matuszak was “best known.” The factoid of him playing “Sloth” in “The Goonies” is a “lesser-known” fact.

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Swiggy1957 t1_j2apv2b wrote

I didn't know it, but I DO remember him in in Caveman.

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Curtainmachine t1_j29y1ds wrote

I’m so glad to be a young whippersnapper again and not an out of touch middle aged man!

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RolowTamassee t1_j27oq2s wrote

I had no idea about any of these, and I consider myself a fairly solid Goonies fan. Crazy story of a life apparently!

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PasghettiSquash OP t1_j27pb2o wrote

Have probably watched this movie 100 times, one of my kids said they had to go to the bathroom today, and I kept saying “HEY MIKEYYY, GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM??” So figured we’d throw it on tonight, and pulled up the IMDB (as one does). Can’t believe I never checked his backstory.

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renasissanceman6 t1_j28dyfs wrote

Yeah, why oh why haven’t we all been looking into sloths acting page??

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B0ndzai t1_j29dv1e wrote

Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in. Because they might have daddy longlegs and um... dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!

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angry_old_dude t1_j28qkhu wrote

I had no The Tooz was in any movies. I remember him from football.

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informedlate t1_j27lvuu wrote

The ballzak on this guy…

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PasghettiSquash OP t1_j27n0xk wrote

Yea didn’t even mention he stood up to The Fratellis, his own flesh and blood, to protect The Goonies

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sweetdawg99 t1_j27n4h5 wrote

Big fan of rocky road, too, as I understand it.

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PasghettiSquash OP t1_j27ocao wrote

Somehow I can see John Matuszak being a big fan of rocky road and baby ruthies

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JGWisenheimer t1_j28rvqx wrote

Don't forget The Ice Pirates.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ice_Pirates

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froghorse3345 t1_j28wxd3 wrote

How can anyone forget space herpes

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gwaydms t1_j2a1604 wrote

My mom liked that movie. She introduced me to it after she moved in with us. Really cheesy movie but fun to watch.

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houseape69 t1_j29x40s wrote

I loved that movie at the time. I was around 14, so I wonder how it held up

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KajePihlaja t1_j28o4pc wrote

I know everyone in here is hyped on The Goonies, but Caveman was such a fun & goofy watch. That was one of my childhood favorites.

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lidsville76 t1_j296d6a wrote

Nanana naa nu nanana naa nu, nananana nana nanaaa nu

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gibgod t1_j27nfzt wrote

Where’s the movie?

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PasghettiSquash OP t1_j27ozud wrote

That’s all I could think. He had a biography written in 1987, complete with a cover photo you’d expect. But I can’t believe there’s not a movie about this - some strange multiverse of Unbroken or Boys in the Boat

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5OZO t1_j27pga3 wrote

Who could play him?

Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (The Mountain) is around his height at 6'9".

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rbhindepmo t1_j29fhso wrote

I don’t think they could get Braun Strowman’s hair or acting skills right for that kind of role. Hair-wise Matsuzak sorta looked like a giant bearded John Belushi.

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Urmull t1_j29n5n3 wrote

Hafþór is also an abysmal actor, so probably best to leave him out of it.

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covert-pops t1_j2asm3j wrote

What is the 4th character in his name called and how is it pronounced?

1

chronicwisdom t1_j28hfcf wrote

The Tooze played Sloth?!?! Aside from HOFers, I've always thought of Tooze as one of the players that epitomized the AL Davis era, "Just Win Baby" and don't worry what anyone outside the org. thinks of you. I remember reading an article about how hard he partied before the SB XV 20 years ago...legend.

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Interrogatingthecat t1_j28hwvm wrote

I mean, a restraining order is... A bit of a twist from the other fairly positive stuff.

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PasghettiSquash OP t1_j29dci1 wrote

So while he was playing in the NFL for the Oilers early in his career, I guess he was upset with management, so to get back at them he signed a contract with the World Football League to play with the Houston Texans. After 7 plays, Houston sheriffs walked on to the field to give him the restraining order to prevent him from playing for 2 professional teams. Also I’d say there’s plenty of negative stuff mixed in there too.

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Dirtface30 t1_j28pter wrote

I constantly do the "Hey MIKEY GOTTA GO BATHROOM" bit, as well as "ITS WET AINT IT" and nobody seems to ever know what I'm talking about.

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FredVIII-DFH t1_j28o9wq wrote

His first appearance on film was in one of my favorite movies: North Dallas Forty.

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fourfourzero t1_j29bhhm wrote

I grew up in that era and I legit had no idea this was the Goonies guy.

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BuccaneerRex t1_j28u5uq wrote

He was also a really nice guy. I met him when I was like 7. He said the 'Hey you guys' line.

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houseape69 t1_j27zuo2 wrote

I heard a story where he partied all night long the night before the superbowl when the raiders played it in New Orleans. Wasn’t his best game, but he did well enough

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mcjackass t1_j2952is wrote

Super Bowl 15. I was a 7 yr old Eagles superfan. The Raiders were a wild card team, that barely made the playoffs. The Eagles had the best record in football. All of the Raiders were down on Bourbon Street getting wrecked the night before the game. I remember they said that they had to pick dudes up off the street and hustle them to the Superdome by gametime. Meanwhile, the squeaky clean Eagles, with their religious christian coach Dick Vermeil, had a strict lights out at 9 and no leaving the hotel. Raiders blew the doors off the birds that day. I wept.

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AntalRyder t1_j292vov wrote

smells armpit... Tonda!

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o_4_petesake t1_j29l8df wrote

I don’t know why I needed this, and I don’t know how it will help me, but I did, and it will. Thank you.

3

Careless-Tumbleweed6 t1_j2c8k9e wrote

The Goonies story is wild:

Ke Huy Kuan saw a massive comeback with Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

Jeff Cohen, who played Chunk was able to get into law school, and Richard Donner (director) helped him pay for it. He works as an entertainment lawyer, including his friend and client, Ke Huy Kwan.

Brandon was played by Josh Brolin who's doing amazing work.

Sean Astin has had an awesome career, including The Lord of the Rings, and Stranger Things.

Kerri Green want on to film roles and eventually production.

Martha Plimpton went on to a super acclaimed career, particularly in TV.

Anyway, this just came about because I watched everything, everywhere the other day, and looking him up lead me to the others.

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CletusVanDamnit t1_j294snn wrote

Probably would have been great at javelin and hammer-throw, too.

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jim45804 t1_j2972mi wrote

CPR, huh? Too many Baby Ruths.

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showmiaface t1_j298s8f wrote

I forgot that he was in Goonies.

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farrenkm t1_j29ibrm wrote

Oh shit. I never saw The Goonies, but I knew him as Corporal Elmo Hitalski in M*A*S*H. He was passed over for a promotion to Sergeant by Major Winchester (among others). They end up giving him faked papers and a "transfer". Newly-minted Sergeant Maxwell Klinger calls the MPs and reports Corporal Hitalski as being AWOL, impersonating a sergeant, and going to try to grab a transport out of Kimpo Air Base.

Winchester: "He's a rather large gentleman, possessing a fist the approximate site of Ohio. He has assured me that, should he not be promoted, he will pound me into the ground like a croquet stake." -- Promotion Commotion

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Double_Distribution8 t1_j29ilau wrote

I thought that was really Sloth's face in the Goonies. Like, I thought they hired a real life deformed person for the role. Like that deformed kid in the Mask movie.

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Regular-Mongoose1997 t1_j29l8bm wrote

I don’t think I’d say he’s best known for his Goonies role.

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PasghettiSquash OP t1_j2bgqbr wrote

Yea honestly I couldn’t figure out how to word it, but figured most Redditors would recognize that the most

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TheDeadManWalks t1_j2b43oe wrote

Additional fun fact, pro wrestling fans. While at college, he once got the absolute shit beaten out of him by future wrestler and attempted murderer "Dirty" Dick Slater in a bar fight.

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zael99 t1_j29hlwr wrote

Good. I still have a few years to achieve all of that. Can't be that hard to get in the NFL in your 30s after never being athletic right?

1

Holinyx t1_j2a0c8h wrote

The Tooz. He was a legend. Sometimes I confuse him with Lyle Alzado, another Raider who lived fast and died young, but he died of Cancer.

1

iPod3G t1_j2b0e0z wrote

/r/yesyesyesno.

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jumpofffromhere t1_j2b3saj wrote

"candy gram for Mongo...candy gram for Mongo"

"Mongo only pawn, in game of life"

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KeithGribblesheimer t1_j2bcuam wrote

He got to make zug-zug with Catherine Bach, so all in all, a good life.

0

Remorseful_User t1_j28sx6z wrote

Ummmm. Matuszak was very, VERY famous as an NFL player. What are goonies?

−9

GrandmaPoses t1_j28vv1r wrote

I hate to tell you, but for some people The Goonies loom much larger in their lives than the Raiders.

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ZhouDa t1_j29hfqz wrote

Eh, as someone who doesn't watch football only a handful of names of football players have seeped into my awareness, and this is the first I've heard of Matuszak. Goonies on the other hand is likely in the top ten most well known 80's movies.

1

patmax17 t1_j28cu3h wrote

Lol, what a man. What does "ODing" mean? Oh, maybe overdosing?

−11

AwayAd9297 t1_j28vkm7 wrote

Sounds like an asshole to me

−11