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Drire t1_j1gfjuj wrote

Pretty far out on the silver line but if you're willing to put in the time Tysons Galleria has a pretty dope bathroom experience on either the second or third floor, above the Sweetgreen

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i_wanna_b_the_guy OP t1_j1gtn2s wrote

I get by Tyson’s occasionally, will hit up sweet green next time I’m there

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Drire t1_j1gttcn wrote

Do it. I used to get a harvest bowl with spicy brocc added and rice swapped for quinoa. Pretty fun combo and takes to additional hot sauce well

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Drire t1_j1j6h71 wrote

How the hell did this turn into the highest votes suggestion? 😂

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JDTalk t1_j1ir9v2 wrote

So you live in Maryland by time you get to Tyson's galleria you don't dumped all on yourself.

What a shitty question

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Drire t1_j1j6ewh wrote

I used to work in Tyson and haven't always lived in Rockville 👉😎👉

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JDTalk t1_j1j81oa wrote

I was really making a joke out of it not something per se about you. If I'm out and about in downtown silver spring and I have to use the bathroom I'm not going to travel to Tyson's galleria. Just poking fun

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SonJulio t1_j1gefw0 wrote

The building museum - my favorite

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Lizzibabe t1_j1gj9cu wrote

YAAAAAAASSS. The building museum has beautiful bathrooms. And outside, it has picnic tables that have SWINGS FOR SEATS!!

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AADV123 t1_j1hy6ts wrote

DowntownDC has been putting those swing tables in other places downtown, like across from the ‘Liberty Place’ Starbucks next to the National Archives/Navy Memorial Metro

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Bebop0420 t1_j1ioh09 wrote

I’d guess it’s secretly an anti-homeless thing

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Flame87 t1_j1jh4qf wrote

Basically everything is anymore, I still dig them though.

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AADV123 t1_j1lu2vp wrote

They sued to SHRINK WRAP them every night to prevent homeless use. Homeless people would just rip into the shrink wrap so they have up. How WASTEFUL though! All that plastic…

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aleinstein t1_j1in05v wrote

Be careful with your knees on those swings. I hit my kneecap after a long windup -- ouch!

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placeperson t1_j1iw8e9 wrote

The last time I was at the Building Museum, the bathroom experience was definitely unique, although not strictly confined to the bathrooms

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ItsLiterallyPK t1_j1inv3o wrote

The building museum has awesome restrooms and an equally awesome store!

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myoungk t1_j1k4et0 wrote

This makes me to visit that museum

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keyjan t1_j1k5lb7 wrote

It’s very cool. Even if you don’t want to pay to go into the galleries, go in anyway and just ogle the architecture.

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Affectionate-Study55 t1_j1gi2fd wrote

Bathroom at the Line Hotel in AdMo, hands down. Fancy schmancy 👌🏼

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Senator_Ruth_Martin t1_j1gs9wd wrote

Is there a specific one? I had to wait outside the sole unisex lobby toilet while a lady cleaned it. Inside was not worth the wait, I don't even think it had windows.

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ohtherearerocks t1_j1ghb4w wrote

The ones at Planet Word are literally award winning

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HighLord_Uther t1_j1ggrk7 wrote

The restroom under Thomas Jefferson memorial. Rarely used. Never seen anyone down there.

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grenadarose t1_j1hg8po wrote

last rime we were there the restroom was flooded and someone had also shat in the sink 🤢

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Neither-Copy785 t1_j1iobr0 wrote

Typical for Jefferson. Never know if you're going to get the eloquent champion of freedom or the enslaver.

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noleggysadsnail t1_j1i1jfz wrote

An older friend of mine has a file with the fbi because she pooped there after hours after a protest.

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tealeel72 t1_j1i14f8 wrote

No shit (haha) I used those toilets on one of the last days before DC entered full lockdown mode in early 2020. So it was extra deserted.

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Roe91517 t1_j1i99ss wrote

It’s always my half run lunch time pee break spot! Hate that it’s been closed for remodeling

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oxtailplanning t1_j1ialax wrote

Library of Congress is literally all marble. It's the most luxurious shit you'll ever take. You feel like a king.

Plus pretty empty.

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TheForceMajeure t1_j1ik5cp wrote

Make sure it’s the Jefferson. Other buildings aren’t so great.

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oxtailplanning t1_j1j67e6 wrote

I don't even think about the Madison when I think LOC to be honest.

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casiopt10 t1_j1gap1h wrote

Union Station bathrooms by the Sbarro. Top spot for me personally.

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i_wanna_b_the_guy OP t1_j1gbf24 wrote

I’ll check that one out next time I’m there, but I’m skeptical that any union station bathroom would be nice lol

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toorigged2fail t1_j1gnduo wrote

He's being sarcastic. The worst two bathrooms in DC are generally accepted to be that one, and the one in the Lincoln memorial, especially during summer for the latter.

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Technicolor_Reindeer t1_j1j64w3 wrote

The bathrooms are okay but what I hate is the sinks. Barely any space to wash your hands.

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weirdfish1995 t1_j1gco6n wrote

The Union Station bathroom by Sbarro would be the last place I’d go if I had the choice. The bathrooms by the Greyhound/Megabus stop are much better

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moonbunnychan t1_j1h84xl wrote

When they're actually open I like the ones in the food court not because they're nice but because nobody else seems to know they're there.

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pomegranatecloud t1_j1gg8z0 wrote

Are you looking to be shanked and/or buy drugs and/or sex while pooping?

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fireonice14 t1_j1hs9ib wrote

I know everyone already said the commenter was being sarcastic but the Union Station bathrooms make the bathrooms at Penn Station in NYC look clean pristine so take that for what you will. I would rather hold it in until I get on an Amtrak train.

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moonbunnychan t1_j1h825q wrote

Ah yes. That was the bathroom where I not long ago saw a lady have an argument with a person only she could see about why she didn't need to go to rehab. Pretty sure she needed to go to rehab.

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AnyWinter7757 t1_j1hx894 wrote

I might have heard that lady when I visited last year. Or maybe I imagined it, as there was a powerful sweet smog in the restroom and I got quite a contact buzz off of it.

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Arctica23 t1_j1ime5p wrote

I love that you can name one specific bathroom in a whole city and everyone (myself included!) instantly knows and agrees

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cwoodgate t1_j1hwpcp wrote

Lol wtf I literally struggle when I have home bowl advantage and you all can sport poop at will? 🤯

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Baaaakedbeans t1_j1iakzd wrote

This is the best thing I’ve read in while. I’m going to addd home bowl advantage to my vocabulary.

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erotomachy t1_j1ikpef wrote

Ever since I got a bidet, I dread pooping on the road.

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Fulano_MK1 t1_j1jw46g wrote

I have this belief that everyone has a regular life "super power" - mine is that I can poop, whenever I want (or not poop when I don't want, I can hold it for just about forever). I developed this power back in high school, pooping immediately after school and before cross-country practice started. It was absolutely crucial during the two years I was a Peace Corps volunteer in the Dominican Republic.

My wife has never selected an avocado from the grocery store that wasn't absolutely perfect. That's her super power, and it has spoiled me and crippled my avocado-selecting confidence.

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mrtsapostle t1_j1h6zpc wrote

Used to be the capitol office buildings before they introduced the new covid rules where you now need an escort to get in. Nothing like taking a shit in a marble lined bathroom with marble dividers and wooden stall doors in a bathroom with 15 foot ceilings. You hill staffers take those nice ass bathrooms for granted.

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AADV123 t1_j1hynwn wrote

There’s actually a mystery employee who goes around different House Office Building bathrooms and fills up the bowls with enough toilet paper to reconstitute a tree, and then sh*ts so that their excrement sits on an island of toilet paper above the water.

It’s been going on for YEARS and every so often you’ll get some angry e-mail blast or laminated sign trying to scare the poo-petrator from striking again at their restroom.

Also be careful, some of the toilets in Longworth shoot water towards the stall door because it’s a bit too powerful for the slope of the toilet. If you’re not cleared outta there, either you’re getting an unsolicited bidet experience or your suit will have a wet spot on your backside.

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keyjan t1_j1gdvg7 wrote

Any of the fancy hotels.

Back in the day, Garfinkel’s department store had a beautiful ladies' room.

https://dc.curbed.com/maps/bathroom-restroom-dc-washington-map

https://dc.eater.com/maps/dc-restaurant-bathrooms-perfect-for-instagram-selfies

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dc_dobbz t1_j1gns0b wrote

The bathrooms at the Watergate were nice enough that I was kind of sad I didn’t have to go.

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i_wanna_b_the_guy OP t1_j1gtdzd wrote

I’ve never considered that there would be articles for this, but of course there is

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LazyPasse t1_j1hq4ox wrote

Botanic Gardens. Also one of the cleanest public restrooms in the city.

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prss79513 t1_j1j2mxl wrote

I feel like it would be all sweaty

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LazyPasse t1_j1j68nf wrote

One of the neat things is that the Botanic Gardens have a variety of microclimates, so you might decide to pass through a tropical rainforest, a desert, and a temperate garden on your way to the back, where the bathrooms are. No matter the weather, it’s always pleasant in there.

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beingtwiceasnice t1_j1i4npa wrote

World class museums have world class toilets. I love eating a big meal and then lazily ambulating around a Smithsonian til the mood takes me. Natural History has never done me wrong.

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tcptennis t1_j1gvn8t wrote

If you're looking for a place to poop, you gotta check out the hottest club. It's called "Twice".

Don’t be thrown off when you’re greeted at the door by a rabbi that looks like Joaquin Phoenix — you’re in the right place. Also, it’s owned by Robert Blake.

This place has everything: Gauze, carnival barkers, groups of guys with afros in graduation caps, human fire hydrants (you know, it’s that thing of when high-waisted midgets have like, the red pants and the big ass).

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rooranger t1_j1huwh4 wrote

Ignore the down votes, your post is clever and hilarious. This guy was one of the funniest characters on SNL

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mrcba333 t1_j1ga2zg wrote

Alex Ovechkin is now the number 2 all time goal scorer of all time in the NHL. I just pee on bushes but good luck hockey history has been made

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i_wanna_b_the_guy OP t1_j1gansv wrote

Gotta start pooping in the bushes in respect of #2

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mrcba333 t1_j1gas0r wrote

Send it bro sorry I didnt answer your question im just so excited

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waconaty4eva t1_j1gi0g0 wrote

Roy Boys has Notorious B.I.G themed bathrooms

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Jazzy_Jelly t1_j1gtfh9 wrote

dLeña’s bathroom in their speakeasy

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i_wanna_b_the_guy OP t1_j1gtru3 wrote

Been looking for a speakeasy in the city too! Definitely going to try this one

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Vivid-Mortgage9855 t1_j1i1rak wrote

The bathrooms at the Ritz Carlton are nicer and bigger than my apartment.

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taiknism t1_j1ic0c6 wrote

The Ronald Reagan building bathrooms aren’t the fanciest, but usually pretty reliable in terms of cleanliness.

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CaptchaCrunch t1_j1gxpkw wrote

Try to pass well enough to poop at a nice hotel

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webbmoncure t1_j1if6ui wrote

The portajohns just before you hit the 14th street bridge bike path. Always clean. Underutilized. Great pitstop to save yourself from having to use the ones at Gravelly Point.

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Brendduh t1_j1jh5en wrote

Pentagon city mall, Nordstrom

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dcbear75 t1_j1ii4pz wrote

The bathrooms at Off The Record in the basement of the Hay-Adams are uber classy.

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wareta t1_j1h642u wrote

Gallery Place McDonald's

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keyjan t1_j1hpvrn wrote

Which closed. (I mean, I know you’re talking shit—see what I did there?—but seriously, that location is closed.)

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dynospectrum7 t1_j1i110o wrote

The iToilet!

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abcpdo t1_j1ihzks wrote

you mean the one under the Carnegie Library Apple store?

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keyjan t1_j1k42qq wrote

Oooh they should totally renovate the existing bathrooms out on the front lawn at the sidewalk and call them that!

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Aromatic-Reach-7125 t1_j1i2wrc wrote

The bathroom at Naraya at the wharf. You'd probably at least have to get a drink at the bar to use it though.

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robertglasper t1_j1i5ruc wrote

El Centro in Georgetown is a fun one.

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Eagleburgerite t1_j1ighig wrote

It seems I'm not the only public pooper in DC.

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Arctica23 t1_j1im6a5 wrote

I haven't been in years but I recall the Library of Congress having some pretty nice restrooms

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ashashinscreed t1_j1j0pst wrote

The Mayflower Hotel. Just act like you’re a guest and use the one in the lobby.

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erineegads t1_j1j58j4 wrote

When the old postal building used to be the Trump Hotel I used to go shit in that one. Flushed a few extra times.

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t3irelan t1_j1hyhly wrote

Not exactly easily accessible, but when I was a tour guide my favorite place to dookie was at the Holocaust Museum. Their bathrooms give me major Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets vibes. Plus they have a couch you can chill on too.

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dragonfangxl t1_j1hys9k wrote

pooping at the top of the trump hotel was pretty cool, the highest freely available spot in the city

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keyjan t1_j1k4ovm wrote

As I recall, there's a bathroom on one of the upper levels at Nat'l Cathedral, too. (Although some of the bathrooms in the basement are kinda cool, too. (Particularly in winter; no heat. 🥶))

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TheSheepdog t1_j1i13me wrote

Definitely not the gallery place metro stop toilets.

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artmarv t1_j1i5fhi wrote

Trump Hotel

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artmarv t1_j1i5sfr wrote

this isn't a joke. The Willard is good too.

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dreams_at_dusk t1_j1idbjv wrote

The bathrooms at the bottom of the Moxy Hotel.

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PombaGira2020 t1_j1k6o8c wrote

Is this place hard to get into after a certain time ?

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dreams_at_dusk t1_j1k7ko3 wrote

Hmm maybe when their hotel bar is closed but hotels are generally easy to get around in on the common area floors.

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rogue_imperator t1_j1ij5n3 wrote

chinatown/gallery place. smithsonian portrait gallery.

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Konrow t1_j1jaxcg wrote

Smithsonians or nice hotels are always my go to if possible. Smithsonian castle is great and central, the willard has pretty bathrooms so that's a plus if you're gonna be a bit longer and want fancy surroundings lmao.

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spandrewszy t1_j1jbqfy wrote

Delta’s A220 aircraft has a window in the back left lav.

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go4tli t1_j1k2ywq wrote

Waldorf=Astoria Hotel in the Old Post Office building.

Faaaaaancy.

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HomeRuled t1_j1iq5tm wrote

Room and board on 14th! Top floor option, obviously.

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Technicolor_Reindeer t1_j1j5utu wrote

All the Smithsonian museums have decent bathrooms. I miss being a volunteer there because I could just flash my ID card and skip the lines when I needed a bathroom while on the mall.

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soundguy1977 t1_j1j6tsc wrote

Not Union Station. Some of the worst smelling i have ever been to.

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ertri t1_j1j9r2v wrote

Fields at RFK are great

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aLovely_gem t1_j1kg766 wrote

Portrait Gallery in Chinatown. If you have an emergency near Metro, Metro Center Macy's (very convenient and open, usually clean)

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GooseCannonGT t1_j1lh9so wrote

Used to use the air and space museum bathrooms on weekdays. Found out the Native American history museum is the better option.

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allianora t1_j1ncd26 wrote

The bathrooms off Peacock Alley in the Willard Hotel were just renovated. Lovely new wallpaper. Hotel Monaco also has some great wallpaper and fixtures. Mandarin Oriental/now the Salamander is pretty with very nice soap and hand lotion (assuming the new owners didn't change much). The second floor bathroom at American Art/Portrait Gallery that is by the Luce Center is a family bathroom so you have a big room to yourself.

The FDR Memorial has the best bathrooms on the Tidal Basin. Very utilitarian but always reliable plus they have the heat on in the very early morning when I'm down there to take dawn photos during cherry blossom time.

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HTTRfuggSnyder t1_j1p3zan wrote

I’ve always dreamt of taking a freedom dump on the national mall, but never had the balls or bowels to actually do it

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WillyHamster t1_j1iem8g wrote

The sidewalk. Act like a crackhead and no one will know the difference. And you get a view of everything happening around you!

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lurkinislife t1_j1igurc wrote

He makes his BMMMMM in the PMMMMM!

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baobeilanzhan t1_j1grl29 wrote

The public bathrooms at the Lincoln memorial are quite nice!

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