Maybe your brain is dopamine deficient and you need to get tested. I myself just recently discovered I have adhd, I’m 39. I started talking to a therapist describing much of what you’re describing; lack of will, no motivation, exhaustion. She told me that adhd in women can manifest as depression. I took a tova test at a behavioral clinic and wouldn’t you know it. I have it. I’m on an antidepressant and a low dose of adderall. It’s been a complete game changer. I’m present, I’m confident, and I want to paint again. The drugs help, but it’s also a sense of validation. I’ve gone my whole life beating myself up for not being able to focus and constantly daydreaming. I got labeled by friends and family because of it and slowly over the years made a series of poor decisions. Now I have something I can point to as to why. I had a deficiency that needed to be treated. That was all. I’m not saying that’s what is going on with you, but you’re worth looking into.

That’s how initially took it but I think the implication is that blonde headed boy is the trainer’s son. So Cam may be cheating on her but she got hers in the end.

I thought the “I gotta do something for my uncle” was that he was going to murder Tanya. I thought this whole thing was a set up by her husband. He’s gone for two days and they magically show up and all the motives are there. The husband and her have a prenup but if she dies maybe he gets it all or most. He hires these guys who have to maintain their beautiful villa but don’t want to open it to the public. And that story about the old matriarch on the Italian island not wanting to sell her home or property to investors so she’s murdered was, I thought, foreboding. But whatever… guess I was wrong and they’re just doing it.

Right? But I knew enough to know I was missing something just not smart enough to know what it was. And that’s my life.