When she asked him to join her in the shower shower and he said Nah, that should have been the end to it. The guy was tipsy and on the verge of passing out from the cocktails they had earlier.

But it wasn't the end of it. She took the rest of her shower to sulk in her insecurity and maybe her own frustrations about getting her period on this exotic vacation and the scene was being set for some kind of confrontation.

He did not say the "he wanted to give her space to sort out womanly shit" until much further in the conversation and it's clear that you have no interest in all the other problematic shit that took place up until that point.

He never said that he had a problem with the "physiological function" of a woman having a period. He simply communicated (in not the most ideal terms or tone as I have acknowledged) that he wasn't enthusiastic about joining her in the shower while she's on her menstrual cycle. You can try and womansplain a period (only woman understand it) or assuage the biological reality of menstrual cycle by referring to it as a physiological process (true but I can see what you're doing) or we can talk about period blood being biological waste just like urine, bowels, smegma, and not conflate people not wanting to interact with another person's human waste as that person not acknowledging another person's humanity.

If he does not want to join her in the shower because he's tired and tipsy OR because he doesn't feel comfortable with the thought of standing in bloody water OR simply because he just doesn't fucking feel like it, that should be OK.

You don't seem to acknowledge or even care about her narcissistic tone nor her hyperbolic sense of entitlement.

You don't seem to acknowledge her manipulative nature and her using the 'tampon whole swimming' trope as textbook gaslighting.

You don't seem to even acknowledge the guy's humanity or his right to have wants/needs/preferences irrespective to a woman's wants/needs/preferences

The brazen levels of cognitive dissonance in these comments is exhausting....😩😫

If I was a Cosmetic Chemist who worked in a lab formulating cosmetic products, and I accidentally bled into a large vat of a cosmetic product OR I sneezed and a large glob of mucus fell in OR if I misplaced my hairnet and large clumps of hair fell in...would you be OK with still bringing this batch of products to market? Blood, Mucous and Hair discharging, shedding or vacating the body are all NATURAL and the chemist should NOT be shamed for being HUMAN, does your 'Diluted Discharge Theory'' still apply?

Are you the kind of parent who would be OK with your children pissing or deficating in a public pool full of other people because there's enough water in the pool to dilute everything so it's not easily noticable? Does your "Dilution Discharge Theory' make this OK?

If I was a chef who cut my finger while preparing a large pot of gumbo or soup and a few drops of blood dropped into the pot - Is it ok to still serve this food to my customers?? It's totally natural to bleed when people cut themselves, so does your 'dilution discharge theory' still apply?

I'll support and praise her!. Why? Because I agree with her logical assessment of the situation and I like that she's unapologetically a woman with her own thoughts even if they don't fit into YOUR narrative of how a woman should feel or think on topics pertaining to gender. Pick Me" accusations are often lobbied by people who don't have the intellectual fitness to form their own prose or can't form logical rebuttals to other people's well thought out arguments.

You're using way too much logic in your comments Squiggle. That's why all of your comments are being down voted, smh. Kudos to you for keeping it respectful and on topic and for not taking the bate of the strawman arguments being lobbed at you.

That's sounds like something thing Jeffrey Dahmer would say..... I'm just saying ... 🤷🏽‍♂️

Hannibal Lecter is that you?!?! 👀

Oh no - I understood your point CLEARLY. The interesting part is that your comment didn't articulate the point that you THOUGHT you were making.

Text book Reductio ad absurdum fallacy.

I too would look for the emergency exit or default to gaslighting if the foundation of my argument was built upon blatant strawman arguments.

Most women in the comments immediately wrote the dude off as a misogynistic jerk - without a shred of empathy or nuance in their responses.

Neither the parents, nor sex education, nor any science books or any mainstream media tells me how a period looks in the shower. Most men don't know until they hear it first hand OR encounter it with a girlfriend in some way shape or form.

THANK YOU for your comment. Communication is key with these kinds of things and that's hard to have when we IMMEDIATELY write other people off as if we ourselves are ALWAYS RIGHT and we the in and out of EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME.

The guy came to this reddit thread, humbled with his hat in his hand, admitting guilt and seeking penance - only to be reminded that he should have somehow already known this kinda stuff. Most teenage boys also believe that a period is like a gorey, horror film and are kinda grossed out by it all. But most of us grow to understand it better with time and even when we didn't understand it + we were not out here BASHING women about it. But just keep in mind that not wanting period sex or wanting to shower with a spouse during her menstrual cycle is not synonymous with not understanding a period or penalizing a women because of it --- sometimes it's just a matter of PERSONAL CHOICE.

Wait, so him not wanting to shower with her during her menstrual cycle = him thinking she's less of a human?!?!?! 🤔

Using your logic, if she said that she wouldn't want to shower with him after a long day of playing rugby because she was grossed out when she has to watch him pull back the skin of his uncircumcised penis to clear out the smegma in the shower = her thinking he's less of a human.

Her not liking him with a mouth full of crooked teeth = her thinking he's less of a human.

Her not liking him because he's 5'0 and weighs 300 pounds is = her thinking he's less of a human.

Her having any physical, religious, ethnographic or personal preferences whatsoever in regard to which men she chooses to date and how she chooses to interact with them physically, socially, sexually or personally is = her doubting the validity of their humanity?!?!

Why default to such narrow-minded, melodramatic diatribes to get your point across?? Why default to accusations of misogynism when the guy could just simply be a bit ignorant and uniformed with this kind of stuff.

Why result in blaming the parents of these two young people when you've clearly never met or interacted with either of them ever in person??

Do you feel better about yourself when you tell other people that they ain't shit, their own lived experiences and perspectives ain't shit and their parents ain't shit - when they come to a reddit page focused on admitting guilt or a misunderstanding or mishandling of a situation when they're clearly seeking penance?!?!

😵‍💫😩😵‍💫😩

😩😵‍💫😩😵‍💫

For some guys and gals - the best way to have "mess free sex" is simply to wait until the period has come and gone and the vaginal walls, utereal lining and everything else has been refreshed. Sounds misogynistic - but we're talking 4th grade BIOLOGICAL FACTS here ladies and gentlemen.

Stop telling people that they should grow up and 'put down towels' or result to 'shower sex' because that's the best way to show your woman that you care. Should the guy make his woman feel bad for having a period on vacation or immediately get defensive if she notices his hesitation for a joint shower during her menstrual cycle?? Of course not!! But in the same vain of being empathetic humans who don't put our perspectives, needs or wants above those of others, she should also NOT make him feel bad if he has his own preferences in these kinds of situations. The guy most certainly should have used more tact and grace in regard to how he communicated with his lady in this situation. He is also probably expected to know that most period days for women aren't gorey, blood soaked horror scenes like LOTS of young boys think they are when we first learn about the fact that the vagina bleeds several days a month and women have to wear garments or devices or make different accommodations for a few days a month to catch and capture the blood.

But you can only speak for YOUR BODY and YOUR PERIOD from YOUR EXPERIENCE. Why project your perspective onto others who have their own set of perspectives, experiences and realities. I think that getting into a swimming pool when you KNOW BEFOREHAND that you're on your period is inconsiderate, selfish and flat out unsanitary. The strangers at the pool don't know that they and their kids are swimming around in your vaginal discharge and bodily waste no matter how watered down it is. I ain't tryna shame you for your take but please try and refrain from taking the moral high ground in discussions like this...smh.

There's nothing childish, misogynistic or even anything remotely problematic about a guy not wanting to shower OR have sex with his girlfriend while she's on her period. He's allowed to have his own preferences that are not determined or REGULATED or SHAMED by his girlfriend, people on Reddit or mainstream society as a whole.

Him not knowing that the shower would most likely NOT look like a scene out of horror movie is indeed a bit childish and misinformed, lol. But lots of guys don't know this stuff unless they hear it from a woman or learn it first hand through experience as this kinda stuff is NOT covered in sex ed class and might not come up in daily conversations.

He didn't handle this situation in the best way but neither did his girlfriend. He didn't use any tact or situational awareness to communicate his thoughts and she immediately defaulted to a state of insecurity and gaslighting to get her point across.

I personally love and respect women, enjoy having sex and a physical relationship with them and I am empathetic to some of inconveniences of being a woman and I know that a period is a biological process that's essential to our ability to create life. But that still doesn't negate the fact that I'm also extremely turned off by the sight of a bloody vagina. And I'm smart enough to know that period blood is blood mixed with microscopic pieces of flesh (uteral lining...etc) and I just choose to avoid it if I can and I've been blessed to deal with women who understand this and don't judge me because of it.

Nuance is clearly a lost art with folks these days and the self righteousness and entitlement of folks who rush to judge others is an intellectual haphazard at best and flat out toxic is in lots of cases these days. Smh...