LeaguePlus5679
LeaguePlus5679 OP t1_iydw3yk wrote
Reply to comment by MckittenMan in How to differentiate boundaries from controlling behaviour? by LeaguePlus5679
So a recent break up just occurred and I’m somewhat reflecting on if certain behaviours exhibited (from my partner) were ‘right’. I would often question myself if I was misunderstanding something. So here are a few examples:
- Being set a ‘curfew’, I couldn’t be out with friends of either sex in a pub/bar/event/social setting past 21:00.
- Being told that I could not go somewhere if women were present (like the gym).
- Being let on that visiting family 1-2 times a week was not a good thing.
- Unable to attend birthdays or parties of friends.
- Family holidays (or of any kind) were a big no.
- Expected to reply to messages/ texts in certain timeframes.
- Couldn’t enjoy time alone for hobbies.
- Female coworkers seemed to be frowned upon.
I understand that people have their own views on what they find ‘acceptable’ in a relationship and this will vary depending on the individual. But to be told you “Can’t” or “Won’t” with no particular explanation as to why, other than “I don’t like/want it” I fail to get.
LeaguePlus5679 OP t1_iye2rv4 wrote
Reply to comment by MckittenMan in How to differentiate boundaries from controlling behaviour? by LeaguePlus5679
I think deep down I knew that but again, sometimes it can be personal preference. So that I you for putting some clarity to it.
Further to dodging a bullet, after being told I was the love of her life and she continually spoke about a future together (house, marriage, kids), within a month of breaking up she was already involved with a guy she claimed she was “just friends” with.