Submitted by LeaguePlus5679 t3_z8xb94 in relationship_advice
As the title say, how can you identify ‘boundaries’ from controlling and toxic behaviour?
[Edit] So a recent break up just occurred and I’m somewhat reflecting on if certain behaviours exhibited (from my partner) were ‘right’. I would often question myself if I was misunderstanding something. So here are a few examples:
- Being set a ‘curfew’, I couldn’t be out with friends of either sex in a pub/bar/event/social setting past 21:00.
- Being told that I could not go somewhere if women were present (like the gym).
- Being let on that visiting family 1-2 times a week was not a good thing.
- Unable to attend birthdays or parties of friends.
- Family holidays (or of any kind) were a big no.
- Expected to reply to messages/ texts in certain timeframes.
- Couldn’t enjoy time alone for hobbies.
- Female coworkers seemed to be frowned upon.
pineboxwaiting t1_iydsc6c wrote
A boundary is usually about refusing to accept poor behavior from another - like, no cheating.
Control is about making someone else do something to your standards - like, dress the way I want you to, clean the house to my specifications.