I had a 15 year old kid work for me last year and I had to teach him how a tape measure worked.

"If I tell you to cut something 10 feet long or 120 inches it is the same thing. If I tell you give me a 2x4 that is 5 and a half feet long, find the 5 foot mark and add 6 inches."

He couldn't figure it out, no matter how many times or how much I showed him. I eventually had to let him go because he fucked up so much lumber that was effectively paying him more than my head carpenter. When I suggested that he focus on math, he told me his mom and dad weren't good at math either. Good thing they decided to home school him...

If you can be tricked into believing the Book of Mormon, you can be tricked into anything.

>...batch of the syrup contained ethylene glycol...

Antifreeze killed kids, who would have thought?

I assume that you are looking for an answer other than, “Because they’re cops.”

All while Twitter is going in the opposite direction.

>The idea points to a critical difference between Tesla and older automakers.

>GM’s Reach Is Everywhere. Tesla’s Is Limited. Tesla doesn’t operate stores or service centers in every state.

>The company has a fleet of mobile repair units that can perform many services in owners’ driveways. But, for more complicated repairs, owners must bring their cars (or have them towed) to service centers that can be hundreds of miles away.

>Owners have complained that it’s hard to get an appointment at many, and repair prices can be high.

>Tesla can’t solve that problem quickly. The company directly owns its own sales centers, which is forbidden by law in some states.

>Traditional automakers work through networks of dealerships, which are business partners they don’t own. That leaves them splitting the profit from each sale with middlemen. But it means they can operate everywhere.

>General Motors has a network of thousands of dealerships – so many that, the company estimates, 90% of Americans live within a 10-mile drive of one.

>For some Tesla owners, getting to a nearby Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet, or GMC dealership would be far simpler than working through Tesla’s complex repair network.

>Automakers Know Their Competitor’s Products Most GM dealerships now have service technicians certified to work on electric cars, with its own growing electric lineup to service.

>And most automakers know their competitors’ products intimately. They buy competitors’ vehicles for benchmark testing and study.

>There’s even an engineering company that buys most cars, dismantles them down to individual fasteners, and sells that information to the competition. Tesla knows exactly how Subaru attaches carpet in a trunk. Subaru knows how Honda’s rev-matching transmissions signal when to shift.

>And, presumably, GM knows how Tesla arranges its battery cells for cooling and can reassemble them.

>Move Puts Tesla In a Tough Spot It’s less clear how GM’s dealer network is getting access to Tesla parts. That might be a valve Tesla could close.

>But Reuss’s offhand announcement puts Tesla in a public relations bind. The company could tighten parts distribution to try to make it more difficult for GM, and other non-Tesla repair shops, to work on its cars.

>But that risks the ire of owners who just found out they have closer service options than they knew.

>So Tesla has a choice: let its owners walk around GM showrooms looking at new GM electric cars while GM fixes their broken Tesla, or choke off the parts supply and leave some owners resentful that they’re left towing their car to another state for repair.

>“This is why Tesla is now investing millions to replicate the brick-and-mortar service centers we already have,” Reuss said.

>Reporters at the investor event say Reuss chuckled softly as he made his offhand revelation.

MARKED TREE, Ark. (WREG) — A Mid-South fire chief said he was terminated after less than 10 months on the job for inappropriate use of emojis.

Allen hicks, the now former fire chief of Marked Tree, Arkansas, says he was wrongfully terminated after reacting to a costume meme that uses offensive and profane language to describe him.

“I was holding a chicken and it had chicken (expletive). That was the exact words it had on there,” said former fire chief Allen Hicks.

He said he responded to the poster through private messages that were later made public.

“I just told the boy if he had a problem with me don’t hide behind Snapchat come see me like a grown man, was no threats made against him or nothing else,” Hicks said.

Hicks shared this write-up given to him by mayor Danny Johnson. It said he violated city policy by making a Facebook post with inappropriate emojis that do not properly reflect the city.

Hicks said the post was a mix-up.

“They are talking about another Facebook post I made supposed to be giving the bird, but it was supposed to be the thumbs up,” he said.

Mayor Danny Johnson told WREG Monday night the city council voted to terminate Hicks.

“He just broke some policies of the city,” said Mayor Danny Johnson.

This isn’t the first time Hicks has served Marked Tree as fire chief.

He said he was fired from the chief position a few years ago and then hired again in March. Both now and then he claims small-town politics came into play. However, the mayor maintains that the issue is not about politics but policy.

“The social media, the unethical things that he done giving the bird and stuff like that,” said Johnson.

Nonetheless, Hicks says he wants the job back.

“It’s revenge, it’s coming from a former firefighter that got terminated,” Hicks added. “I’m fixing to seek legal action and I’m fixing to sue the city.”

While the political fire may take time to put out, the mayor says the department is under control.

“The fire department is in good hands they have always been in good hands. They’ve got experienced people there is nothing to worry about,” said Johnson.

Mayor Danny Johnson told us he will not be going against the city council and re-instating Hicks as fire chief. He tells me he does plan to appoint a new fire chief by next week.

Next time I'm going with "fuckface"...

I was suspended for 12 hours for calling him a dickhead.

In a FB chat? That isn't how Miranda works...