I would bet that his anxiety, panic attacks, and behavior is tightly linked together. I think seeking marriage counseling as soon as possible with that kid on the way, is super important.

What woke me up, after a rocky point in our marriage, was my wife telling me she was leaving me. The consequences of my own actions hitting me so squarely that it was like an instant overwhelming epiphany of what I had done.

With a movie that old the reference was a big gamble. I hope everything goes smoothly with whatever happens between you and Veruca.

This guy sounds like me in my 30s. I was awful and I hurt my wife and children with my anxiety and the hair trigger that came along with it. I can't put into words the amount of regret I carry with me and, with that, this incredible sense of loss because I wasnt the person my family needed and deserved.

Your man needs therapy from a licensed therapist. The best YOU can do is stop caretaking him, if you are doing it, and end any other behavior that enables him to not experience the consequences of his shitty behavior including the consequence of you not wanting to be around him.

One tactic here is to find a couples therapist and book an appointment, since telling him "you need therapy" likely isn't going to go over well. Ultimately start with couples counseling and the therapist will hone in on all the ugly bits in your relationship all on their own and help guide. If you book it and tell him lovingly and out of worry about your relationship and all that, and he doesn't attend, go by yourself anyway. They will be able to help you navigate this one better than us strangers on reddit.

On behalf of a former anxiety filled, hair triggered, inexcusable and irredeemable asshole, I'm so very sorry. I hope for the both of you that y'all find your way. Together or, if necessary, apart. As long as happiness is at the end of it.

I'm so sorry. I think it's important in relationships to put your own emotional well-being and emotional needs first. It's important to listen to your emotions, especially if you are a trusting person that is susceptible to gaslighting and other manipulative traits that narcissists use. Your emotions are your North Star. If you are feeling crummy, recognize it, pull back, and know that you need to deal with that first. If you are feeling happy and nurtured, run to it.

Also note that your susceptibility to these manipulative tactics makes you a really good person. It's folks that are caring and trusting and vulnerable with their partner that can be more easily manipulated by a rotten egg. Follow your feelings as they will act like an internal eggdicator (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory reference).

So he wants to get sexual with you and gets angry and manipulative when you don't consent? That's just shitty and a little rapey.

I didn't meet a girl and have sex until I was 22. I didn't go around to my female friends and concoct some sob story to get them to give me a handy.

We all get attracted to people that are not into us or are unavailable. Those of us that aren't assholes let it go and move on. Your friend is not acting like a good person.

This is one of those opportunities to set a boundary like "don't ask again or I'll stop hanging out". And then stick with it.

You are 26. Best to learn this lesson now so you are trying this nonsense in your 40s. The person you are with is exactly who they are. That is the person you choose love or leave. You can't make someone behave a certain way. You can't change a person.

You have to be vigilant in your relationship to see the person you are with and ignore who you want them to be. One is reality and the other fantasy.

Your gf sounds like a liar, moocher, and layabout. You aren't going to change that. You can't change that. She is the woman that she is. The only question you can legit ask, is... Is the woman you want?

Edit: my dumb assuming ass wrote as if the other person is a man. Changed pronouns. So sorry. :(