I'd drive into a telephone pole too if I couldn't get out of there.

assholes

It is moments like this when I am compelled to reference the great film "Repo Man" to point out that flying saucers are in fact, time machines

I threw in my two cents because I also feel that there's a limit to what talk therapy can offer here.

I think the thing that is vexing for people like you who have handled all sorts of situations over the years growing up here is the randomness of the threat - like straight up crime has a predictable beginning, middle and end and what's occurring now sounds like unprovoked assaults and menacing on a large scale which no one can prepare for. Really sucks.

Yeah, I wanted to chime in about either seeing someone or at least taking stock of your current mental / psychological state. When I was around your age I was overextending myself at work and on the weekends and began experiencing acute anxiety or panic attacks as a result.

Our situations are different, but the reason I am bringing it up is that with anxiety / panic type reactions, once you have a significant event, you can be more prone to experiencing them again in a short amount of time. It's almost like fatigue from anxiety triggering more anxiety. Anyways, be good to yourself, get more rest, drink water all the usual stuff, but keep an eye on yourself objectively and you might pick up on triggers ("fuck I'm freaking out, wait I'm also on 2 hours of sleep" etc.).

I know that feeling and it's a gross feeling of creeping dread and I hope you never have to feel that way again!!