Thank you the most fun was thinking of the power set of the Hero and Villian

Sinister phased in and out of Amazon's punches.

She was groing more and more tired, she was not sweating bullets but missiles, and he needed to escape fast he had a date to get to he's already 5 minutes behind...

"As much as I would love to do this song and dance all night my dear, This damned ruby isn't worth what I'm going to miss... Ta Ta now!"

He said as he phased through the floor leaving the Royal Ruby in his hand to drop to the floor.

"DAMMIT! HE GOT AWAY... wait what time is it?" She pulled out her phone with a broken screen from her back pocket on her belt.

6:30 Pm

"OH FUCK I'M GOING TO RUN LATE!"

She then ran down the 30 flights of stairs all while trying to freshen her self up as much as she could. She didn't want to smell like blood and sweat around the one guy she was interested in...

At the same time Sinister phasing through walls and walls trying to get to his apartment to change his clothes. When he arrived he ditched the top hat, cane, and his black and red 1700s style get up. He put on his nicest watch, and grey dress pants along side a white shirt and coat.

"Okay, Stan you're gonna go up to her, hand her the flowers, and-" he glanced at his watch "going tO BE LATE!" After that he phased out through his second floor wall and ran...

When Amazon found the bathroom with her bag she took off her greek inspired costume, and got on her nicest black dress. Grace double checked she didn't look like she was fighting, nor smelled like it too, before running to the restaurant at 6th...

They ran, and sprinted but by the time they got there it 7:39 the restaurant closed, and they stood there looking at each other...

They were horrified thinking that the other must have been waiting here all this time not going in as the restuarant closed without their date really beginning.

"I'm so sorry I was running late and I-" they had both paused. Stan was as dumbstruck as Grace hearing that...

"You? Now I'm the one who was late you were-" he noticed the high ponytail on Grace's... no... Amazon's head.

"No, your mistaken. I'm late you've been waiting with flow-" she then paused and noticed the messy eye shadow on Stan...no... Sinister's face

They walked close until the were properly face to face. Then the noticed the finer details of each other appearances. After that no more words were said. Only tears. Only 2 people with broken hearts walking away, until all that was there was just a flowers, laying on the concrete floor in front of an empty restaurant.

This was a very open and shut case. The door handle was busted open, 2/3 chairs were broken, 1/3 of the bears breakfast was eaten, and the dammed girl was sleeping in the kid's bed.

In any other circumstance this would be hard to prove it was her, but since Cheif B.B.Wolf found the girls titular "Golden Locks" at the scene of the crime, and Jr Bear took photos of the damages and the girl in his bed. Open and shut.

Mr Bear offered a nice pint of some alcoholic cider to toast winning the case however I informed him fhat i had other works to do.

As i got back to my office I couldn't help but remember my previous cases... Humpty Dumpty, he sued the king for lack of safety precautions when working in construction, we won that one very easily and help start a worker's union.

Cheif B.B.Wolf, i remember that one he was falsely accused of eating a grandma and attempt at eating her granddaughter before getting assaulted by a woodsman. We lost that case, even though i made it apparent that all three of their testimonies were bullshit. Still he out and back as Cheif.

Cinderella, after the crows took her stepmother's & stepsisters' eyes they tried to sue us, that was before we counter sued them with domestic abuse, attempted identity theft, domestic violence,and so much more. The look on their blind faces was astronomical. A well earned win...

But now a legal dispute that I've been struggling with, Jack V Giants. God this is going to be a long one. Farm kid buys magical beans tresspasses, steals, and commits 3rd degree murder. I feel bad for the guy who's about defend this kid...

Actually i was using the trope of "Device that tell Hero when and where crime is to stop it" more so then imply that Heros and Villains start at exact times, well villians do but not most Heros

As Adrunaline i'm able to process faster than most, i mean my whole thing is being fast.

But no amount of decelerated time can help me process that the Cold Queen had a kid. And such a sweet kid too.

"Mommy" said young tim as he ran to his mom.

"Hey baby! How was school?" She said just not acknowledging me existence

"Mr Adriane stay by to help me with my math homework." The little guy stuttered

"Oh really and who is..." she was almost as stunned to see me out of costume as i was seeing her. "Honey can you go wait in the car?" She then asked her little one.

As he ran towards the car she stared with an glare colder than any ice powers she had.

"Does he know?" I calmly asked.

"No, he doesn't he goes to bed at 7, even then he's a kid he's not gonna watch the news." She stated.

"This explains the lack of crimes, and you being more careful."

"If you touch him-"

"I'll hang up my spandex and turn myself in," at this moment my watch started beeping, i checked it. Of course, bank robbery 12th Avenue. "Look if you want me to i'll be happy to tutor, but right now i gotta start my night job."

After that i just ran, only stipping to get on my costume, and rushed to 12th Avenue.

Thank you for laughing at my garbage

"STOP! STOP! STOP IT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs

They all just froze bickering turned into confused stares as they didn't know what to do about the at this point calm detective loosing his- OH WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT A NARRATION "THIS BOOK IS A GOD DAMN MESS!"

"What are you talking about? What book?" The butler asked

"THIS BOOK! THE BOOK WE'RE CHARACTERS OF! THIS SHITTY WRITTEN BOOK!"

"Detective Jones," Mrs Banelby the now ex-wife said "this is reality"

"NO IT'S NOT AND YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW? YOU! FATMAN!"

Charlie Banelby the victims brother was aghast at the comment on his size "Me?" He inquired.

"YOU FOUND THE BODY OF YOUR BROTHER WHERE?"

"The second floor..." he whimpered out.

"YES THE SECOND FLOOR AND YOU SAID HE WAS STABBED YES?"

"Yes, yes he was stabbed we know that" sneered the Olivia the victim's mistress

"OKAY HE WAS STABBED ON THE SECOND FLOOR AND YET! WHEN I LEAVE THE MURDER ROOM, OH LOOK STAIRS 4 FLOORS WORTH OF STAIRS! WE ARE AT THE TOP! THE FRONT DOOR IS AT THE FLOOR BELOW US, AND I WALK BACK INTO THE ROOM AND OUT THE WINDOW I SEE A FOUR STORIE TALL BUILDING! AND WE'RE AT THE TOP!"

"Okay sir you need to calm down" the bu-

"QUIT WITH THE NARRATION I SAID! AND THE MURDER WEAPON. WE KNOW IT WAS THE SWORD AT THE TOP OF THE FIREPLACE WHOEVER! IT'S A FUCKING PLASTIC SWORD! NOT SHARP, NOT METAL, AND YET FITS PERFECTLY IN THE WOUND TO A T!"

"This whole case is a giant contrivance, this was a dinner party the murder happened 20 minutes ago and it's currently what time?"

"...12:41 pm"

"12:41 PM! ALSO THINK ABOUT THIS ONE WE'RE ALL STEREOTYPES! THE EX-WIFE, THE JEALOUS FAT BROTHER, THE MISTRESS, THE OLD LADY WHO ACTUALLY DID IT SPOILER ALERT!, AND THE RED HERRING BUTLER! WHO THE FUCK WROTE THIS SHIT?"

I did, also... with the snap of the authors fingers the narration was back, Yo

"OH SO YOU'RE THE AUTHOR!" Detective Davis exclaimed slowly losing his mind "HEY!"

Yep

"I ONLY HAVE ONE QUESTION FOR YOU? WHY!" The Detective said about to manhandle the author

Reddit.

"What?" Whispered the author

This was just for a reddit writing prompt, it asked for a self aware detective in a contrived murder mystery, and it was only until last minute I realized i can't do this properly sooo...

The Detective took a step back as the existential dread settled in.

yeah and this has become way to meta for my taste so, for those who've read this i say this with the deepest part of my heart Downvote this to oblivion, legitimately do that i don't have the talent to make stuff like this...

Look I'm a man who can handle many things...

Being listed by the World Villian League as 'Ridiculously D-Teir' because i don't personally feel the need to do more than rob banks and steal tech from labs was fair.

Having the Wrecking Crew be my assigned "Nemeses" was a hard pill to swallow but i got over it. Hell, i got used to it.

Jungle Kid's cheesey lines and speeches as the "Team Leader" even though all he instructs them to do is just "Wrecking Crew Topple 'Em" was admirable for the children.

Cheese Man's gimmick was a good laugh to my henchmen so he was good to keep him around.

Playing to Atlan's strongside of having random water puddles made the fights fun with his creativity.

And Tim... I still don't know what Tim did.

But they were always the ones who would let me get my things run away and the foil my plans last second.

They weren't Watcher who would place a tracking device, or Millennium who would just hear my plans and escort me to jail. They were simply reactionary, not on pursuit.

So when the ignorant children find out that i had my little coffee shop on the corner of 5th, and didn't do any research to see that my staff were just average people looking for jobs. BARGED IN WHILE I WAS AWAY, DESTROY THE PLACE, PUT MY STAFF IN THE HOSPITAL! Then Doctor Tinker isn't going to play nice.

Doctor Tinker is going to drop the advantages, Drop the crappy junk machines that a can be dismantled by a thrown screwdriver. Goes to their doorstep, and pardon the corny line it's a habit i need to work on, Wreck the Wrecking Crew and have their nearly lifeless bodies flowing down the Hudson River.

There simply isn't a better feeling.

Now hopefully the next time some heroes try to do the whole song and dance they're old enough to know, Don't mess with the people I care for.